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Not 'coping' well at the moment..

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Rheumatoid Arthritis
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Posted 4/23/2008 7:57 PM (GMT -5)
Ok guys.. you're gonna have to forgive me for a couple days.. I will be online checking for spammers and such, but I probably won't be posting much.. I got my news today about my medical review board, and they are recommending Permanent Retirement... honestly, I'm not coping very well with that right now.. not sure why, I guess it's the finality of it all.. but it just hit me like a ton of bricks.. I've got a lot of thinking to do, 'cause if I accept this, I will be out of the military in 40 days.. This has been my life for over 13 years.. and I'm just not ready to make that step yet... I knew it was coming, but, I guess I was just putting it in the back of my mind and never dealing with it.. well, now I'm forced to deal with it, and it's not pretty.. sad So if you don't hear from me, that's why.. I'll be here, everyday, reading, I just may not post much.. thanks for your understanding.. love you all.. Duck
Posted 4/23/2008 8:04 PM (GMT -5)
Ducky,
I am sorry you are having to go through this. We all lose something to this disease and the loss is never easy. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sj
Posted 4/23/2008 9:06 PM (GMT -5)

Dearest Ducky,

Words can't express how sorry I am to read this news...I was so hoping for a different outcome.  I wish there was something, anything we could do to help you, you've done so much for all of us!  Please know how special you are, and how much you mean to all of us here.

Love, Jody

Posted 4/23/2008 9:39 PM (GMT -5)
Oh Ducky,

I'm so sorry to hear this news. It's hard enough to deal with this disease and then to add changing everything your life has been for so long has got to be overwhelming. Especially since it's not your choice. I'm sure in the end it is very bittersweet. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary
Posted 4/24/2008 6:30 AM (GMT -5)
hey duck- just got back.... is it final? can you ask for continued desk work? what about the ADA in Government positions? in civil they are required to provide reasonable accommodations to meet your disability needs. look up America Disabilities Act before you give into anything you dont want to. i will try and search a bit too. hugs. lumi yals
Posted 4/24/2008 10:17 AM (GMT -5)

ADA

Title I requires employers with 15 or more employees to provide qualified individuals with disabilities an equal opportunity to benefit from the full range of employment-related opportunities available to others. For example, it prohibits discrimination in recruitment, hiring, promotions, training, pay, social activities, and other privileges of employment. It restricts questions that can be asked about an applicant's disability before a job offer is made, and it requires that employers make reasonable accommodation to the known physical or mental limitations of otherwise qualified individuals with disabilities, unless it results in undue hardship. Religious entities with 15 or more employees are covered under title I.

what would happen if you refused to retire?  what happens if you retire early like now?  can you go on disability in the government? sorry i dont know everything but maybe you could phone a lawyer if you really still want to work?  me if i could afford it i would retire - but thats me.... and i cant afford it so ......

thinking of you  hugs  yals

Posted 4/24/2008 1:54 PM (GMT -5)

Hang in there Ducky! I would definitely look in to the ADA information Yalinda put out there.

My prayers are with you. I know you'll get through this. And don't forget what they say, "when God closes one door, He opens another."

Love to you and your family.

***

Posted 4/24/2008 2:24 PM (GMT -5)

Ducky,

I'm so sorry to hear this...I don't even know what to say..But I do know that Camama is right, and I am firm believer in it, that when one door closes, another one always opens. We are all here for you..sending lots of hugs your way.

Posted 4/24/2008 7:29 PM (GMT -5)
Hey all.. thanks for the well wishes.. The military is a bit different.. you sign a contract, and if you can't fulfill that contract, you get out.. They have offered me retirement.. I will get retirement pay (less that 1/2 of what I make a month) and full retirement benefits.. I can non-concur with what they are offering, then I got to San Antonio to Appeal the decision.. at that point it either gets upheld or I get offered something different.. with my condition never getting better my case will be upheld (already talked to a lawyer) so basically I have no choice.. I have to retire.. I can't afford it.. but I have no choice in the matter.. long term, this is the best thing for me.. short term, this is the worst possible thing they could've done to me.. I'll let you know when I find out my last day is.. :(
Posted 4/24/2008 7:32 PM (GMT -5)
Ducky,
I am so sorry.
Have you looked into applying for civilian jobs with the government. As medically retired military you should have quite a few prefernce points.
Sj
Posted 4/24/2008 7:40 PM (GMT -5)
I have looked at some things.. but until I have a date for sure, I can't apply to anything yet..
Posted 4/24/2008 8:10 PM (GMT -5)
ok ;ets try and find the silver lining- no pun intended for retirement issues as you dont have any???? but i do! teeheee

Let's see???? do you get a party and presents????? now that would be a silver lining and you could invite us all and dag nabitt some of us just might show up! hahahaha so if it has to be ~ THEN lets plan the party.... you all know i love a party to plan! :) sorry just trying to send some humor..... i'll behave better........

WELL HUGS DUCK U KNOW I LOVE YA - opps caps lock turned on by itself! honest? : P
Posted 4/24/2008 8:26 PM (GMT -5)
Ducky I wish you all the best.

Mary
Posted 4/24/2008 10:04 PM (GMT -5)
Hi Ducky:

I know you don't know me and I kinda butted in with a post, but I wanted to say to you how sorry I am that you're having such a hard time. I'm the wife of a military man he did 22 years and recently just retired in October. I know how upset you must be with the military making you get out.

If there is anything at all that I can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask. I know how scary this is, I was a mess by the time my hubby was on terminal leave and didn't have a job. I just wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Good luck,
Barbara
Posted 4/25/2008 11:26 AM (GMT -5)
I am so sorry for you. It must be hard. I know the military can be jerks like that, a lady I sit next to....her husband was maybe having heart issues (lucky for him, it ended up being a fluke) but I asked about his options and she said basically, if you aren't deployable, they will force you out. That is awful, you live your life for our country and this is how you are treated. It is shameful the military would do this. You are in my prayers. Our military personnel deserve better.
Posted 4/25/2008 11:48 AM (GMT -5)
{{{{HUGS}}}}  to my dear duck...i don't think anything makes this ordeal any easier.  anyone who has been forced out of a career at a young age will agree.  you're never "ready" for it.

thing is...it's so friggin' weird, the transition & then all the time spent trying to adjust to the situation.  it really feels like a "mourning" when you go through it.

 

whatever you do, do not feel as though it's your fault.  when i had to leave nursing i hd a slew of emotions.  i felt guilty, embarassed, ashamed even.  so much of who you are, it feels like that's ripped away.

it's going to be an end to it...but it can be a beginning to a whole lot more too.

love you babe...

erin 

Posted 4/26/2008 11:34 PM (GMT -5)
Hi Ducky

I am sorry to hear about your news, please remember we are here for you if you need to talk

Big hugs

Martina

Posted 4/27/2008 6:35 AM (GMT -5)
Hi Ducky,
Remember we are always here for you. I am also sending you a big hug.

teddybear
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