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Posted 6/20/2011 10:28 AM (GMT -5)
Hi everyone. I haven't posted here in quite some time. I decided to go off my meds four months ago with Drs. knowledge but not his blessing. It was very difficult at first because of the terrible withdrawal. However, I kept my job through it all. The reason I went off the meds is because I got depressed on them...so why bother. They did not work for me. They also made me totally spaced out, wimpy and forgetful.

Happy to say, I have had 0 bipolar symptoms. I have neither been depressed or manic. I am thinking clearly for the first time in years. I am dealing with life pro-actively. I am making mature decisions...gone are the feelings of low self-esteem and victim to an illness drama.

I am healed of bipolar. It can be done. I am living proof.

I am not telling anyone to go off meds and I do think they help in a crises situation for a few months but I vehemently disagree that they should be used long term. It is not easy to go off of them. People around you will not like it and the Dr. Will tell you it is a bad idea. Listen to your own body, to your own heart. You and only you know what is best for you. Take your power back. You are all infinitely intelligent human beings. The body and brain are able to heal themselves miraculously.

And be wary of false diagnosis. Seems everyone is dxed with bipolar these days. It is a ploy by the Drs. And drug companies to make a good living.

I am well. I am a human being. I get emotional from time to time. So what. Can I function as a mother, employee, wife, citizen...YES...and better than ever with a strong mind and stable energy. Stop thinking you are sick. You are perfect just the way you are, as I am.
Posted 6/20/2011 10:40 AM (GMT -5)
Red,

So glad to hear you are doing well.  I remember when you decided to go off meds, I have been there and I know that sometimes we just know that it is the right thing to do.  Not everyone is that fortunate.  I too believe that mood disorders are way over diagnosed and that the meds do not meet the needs of everyone.  I manage through diet, exercise, vitamins and I have been better the last few months than I have in years.  Like you said, I still have my ups and downs but I can deal with it now.  The meds made me unable to cope with anything, as well as unhealthy and over weight.  Now 27 lbs lighter, back to my original healthy weight, I am glad that I went through the weeks of heck to get where I am now.  Stopping alcohol/caffeine was the best choice I have made in a long time.

"Victim to an illness drama" ?   Nicely put! 

I hope you continue to do well.

Standing in your shoes,

Gem turn

Posted 6/20/2011 11:30 AM (GMT -5)
Good for you Gem! And I too have dropped 40 pounds...down from a size 13 jeans to a size 5. and I better than ever. I take vitamins B, C, and fish oil. That's it and I drink a lot of water. I am so thankful to be able to think again without scrambling for words. I love my energetic self. I love that I can cope. I love the stability. I have a deep spiritual connection to the Goddess and this path has greatly helped me. Plus I am completely sober from all alcohol and drugs...going on three years. All of this combined effort takes time...but it works and it is worth it!
Posted 6/20/2011 12:02 PM (GMT -5)
Red, I take a multi-vit, extra c and natural form vitamin e and fish oil three times a day.  I have tried other suppliments but if they were too difficult to take digestive wise, like cal/mag/zinc, I just try really hard to get more of those things from my food.  I was on B-complex for a while but it did not always agree with me and I felt like I was getting enough with the good multi three times a day.  I also used niacin for a while to get my sleeping straightened out and now only use it occasionally at bedtime.  Not slamming anyone else but it feels nice to talk with someone who has had good results with the protocol that has worked for me.  Check out an informational website, not selling anything, just good commonsense called, DoctorYourself.com.  After reading the info on caffeine I realized that it was probably alot of my problem as I was consumming way more than I ever realized.  It is also nice to have my sex drive back (sure my hubby is happy too) as the drugs completely took that away.

Nice to have you back.

Gem

Posted 6/20/2011 6:24 PM (GMT -5)
I am so happy for you Red and I just caution you to be very vigilant about your moods. I too went off my meds (pDoc knowing, but not happy) about a year and a half ago. Felt great and was healthy and weight down, but for me it all went downhill last fall when my husband and my pDoc noted that I was getting hypo manic, but I didn't. Refused any meds and ended up almost ruining my marriage and plunged into a clinical depression in February which I am so very slowly digging my way out of. I truly hope you are not like me because I so wanted to be like you and Gem. I do think a lot of people are over medicated, but I guess that just says we have to be our own advocates with our pDoc's and educate ourselves as best we can. I wish you many years of med-free happiness...I can honestly say I'm jealous!
Posted 6/20/2011 6:31 PM (GMT -5)
Nice to be back Gem! A good multi-vitamin is next on my list...thanks for the suggestion. What is Vit E good for? And would it be included in a multi? I do drink one cup of coffee per day and it doesn't bother me. But I have a friend who drinks a pot and is depressed but refuses to cut back on coffee. Oh well, live and let live, right! I'm glad you are doing well and I know hubby is too...(giggle!) thanks for still being here too. Stay strong!
Posted 6/20/2011 6:36 PM (GMT -5)
Right you are Hi,
It is an education process, knowing and trusting yourself to make the right decision for you, with guidance. In my experience, I feel that sometimes Drs are too quick to make a diagnoses, slap on a label and medicate. That is just not the right thing for everyone. I was drinking too much alcohol, caffeine and eating poorly combined with some very high long term unresolved stress. All these things led to a mood disorder DX. When meds did not work and really made me worse, I had no choice but to find another way. It seems like sometimes all I do is work to stay well, but I have no where else to turn, this is my life. I am OK with it most of the time. What else am I going to do? Jealous? I am jealous of anyone that finds a med that works and feels well. I was never that lucky.

Stay sweet Hi, I always enjoy your replys.

Gem
Posted 6/20/2011 6:45 PM (GMT -5)
Vitamin E,

I had problems with heart palpitations, EKG normal, everything normal, they thought it was just part of anxiety or perimenopause. My ob-gyn Dr. suggested I try it and heart palps stopped within 24 hours and have not returned. It is also good for your skin. Multi-vits do have it but at a very low dose. I started taking 200 iu 2-3 times a day, worked up to 400 iu 2-3 times a day. You must use the natural form to get good results, not the synthetic. You can tell the difference by reading the label, if it states it is d-alpha, that is the natural form, if it states dl-alpha (not much difference at a glance) it is synthetic and does not provide the same benefits. With vitamins like everything thing else you put into your body always try to use as few synthetic vitamins as possible, with as few fillers/binders. The good ones cost more but you get what you pay for.

Be well.............

Gem
Posted 6/20/2011 6:47 PM (GMT -5)
Highnlow...I will certainly take your concern seriously. Even if the ball drops and I become hypo or depressed I have certainly enjoyed a med free run. I have told my hubby and teenager to let me know if I become unstable and I will seek appropriate help if it becomes a problem. I hope it doesn't happen dawgonnit! So far so very good! I am glad things are getting better for you. My husband, who is also bipolar, have split a couple of times in the past and each time sought marriage counseling. We had to learn how to listen to each other...to communicate. I am a huge advocate of marriage counseling because it saved our marriage. Most people wait to late to go. The surface of the sea can be gray and smooth like a lake in the early morning, at noon frothy whitecaps crash over brilliant blue waves and at night, the silken gold of sunset shimmers so softly. I am like the sea. I am ever changing. I am just me and I am o.k. just the way I am. But I will be vigilant and unselfish if I have to swallow the pills of depersonalization. Thanks for writing and I wish you well.
Posted 6/20/2011 6:55 PM (GMT -5)
P.S. I too am like Gem...I never found a med combo that worked. I think it may be called med resistant. I think it is wonderful to be helped by taking a pill but it never worked for me. I have probably tried everything out there, every which a way. They seem to work for a short while and then stop and I am worse than ever. That is why I chose to be med free. I am 48 years old and have been dealing with the bipolar/med thing since I was 32 and finally I decided there had to be a better way. Sure I was afraid when I started this and there were times I thought I might have made a big mistake...but I held out and the result is beautiful. I have to get plenty of rest and keep work to 25 hours a week or less. Luckily my husband works a full-time job. I have to stay inside and relax a lot with a book or meditate to regroup. I don't travel much. But I am happy with this simple life.
Posted 6/20/2011 6:58 PM (GMT -5)
Amen for the simple life!

Gem
Posted 6/22/2011 9:26 PM (GMT -5)
I also went med free about 3 years ago and was doing well besides the few mood swings that would come up here and there. But I started doing yoga and working out and was doing much better. My meds helps my mood swings, but I was horribly depressed. Worse than before the meds, so I decided on my own I was stopping. I thought surely there is something else out there. So fast forward to fall 2010, I start to go down hill due to all the stress in my life. A car accident, shoulder surgery, more physical pain and had to stop yoga. Alot going on with the kids and finally I snapped in the last part of May. I had a mini crisis, but the big one came a few weeks later. I was trying to find a new psych doc when the mini one hit, but didn't see the big one coming so I hit bottom. Now I'm trying to climb my way back out. Not an easy thing to do since I thought I was doing so well. So made a psych appt, got on Pristiq and ativan with my primary doc and seeing a counselor every week. It's not gonna be easy and I am not a fan of getting back on the hampster wheel with the meds, but maybe there is something new that has come out that will help this time. I need to do this for me and my family. I wish all of you luck in trying to figure out what works best for you. Listen to yourself and self educate yourself. You can't always trust your doctors to do what's best for you, alot of the times they are just trying to make more money and you are just another patient.
Posted 6/23/2011 6:50 AM (GMT -5)
Very well put Lynn,

I hope you continue to do well.  I am a little hypervigilant sometimes keeping myself in check.  I know the same thing could happen to me at any time.  You are right about the Yoga, if I get off schedule with my exercise routine I can really tell a big difference in the way I feel.

Keep on that path to wellness and I hope today is a good one for you!

Gem

Posted 6/24/2011 10:34 PM (GMT -5)
Red Lightning,

I am 48 too and was diagnosed in my early thirties. I am glad you have family to watch out for you and I so want it to work for you. I really felt the best off my meds. I am still trying to find the right meds to get rid of the anxiety and fears I am still dealing with, I truly think it is going to work out on its own since meds have not helped. I do think if you are like Gem and control your environment you are going to be AOK. I hope you stay on here like Gem and keep encouraging the rest of us to be healthy and keep our stresses to a minimum. Of course, having twin girls at 41 (my first kids) has thrown a wrench in that one. LOL
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