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Posted 9/8/2011 1:54 PM (GMT -5)
Hi I just wondering if any1 can help me I think my wife could have bipolar but I am not sure she is being very distant and 2 months ago she kicked me and my 2 children out she has been drinking alot and got into a new relationship Wiv sum1 3 years younger than her she is completely ignoringme and has not even asked about her children she is also not talking to any of her friends and family and is doing what she wants when she wants she says she is lost and dosnt know who she is could some1 please help me wot this could b I feel so sorry for my children
Posted 9/8/2011 2:53 PM (GMT -5)
Hello, Johnny84, and welcome to the Bipolar Forum,

We can't diagnose your wife's condition for you because we're not doctors, but we can tell you just a little about what we think might be helpful for you to do:

1. You need to try to get her in to see your physician and let him
know what's happening. Chances are he/she will refer your wife to a psychiatrist who can listen very carefully  to your wife and perhaps give you a diagnosis and the appropriate medications to get her started on healing.

2. If it turns out that she is bipolar, she needs to stop drinking alcohol. It makes the illness worse. She should also eliminate caffeine from her diet because that also makes the illness worse.

3. You might wish to explain to your children that their mother is ill and
that you are planning to get help for her. They need to be reassured that things are going to be okay just as soon as their mom is on the proper medication and is healing.

4. You need to do it right away. If she is still drinking, the problem is only going to get worse. If she refuses to see the psychiatrist, take the appointment for yourself and learn what these specialists feel is in your best interest. You may be living a different lifestyle in a few months with good psychiatric help to lead you through this problem if your wife firmly refuses professional help--which she needs strongly and now.

5. Don't threaten, cajole, or get angry; she has an illness of one kind or another and needs to be persuaded to get help. The children do not deserve to be in that environment until she is brought out of the drunken state and stable enough to be protective of your children.

6. If it turns violent, as it could with alcoholics, get police and social services advice and help. Do you have relatives with whom the children might stay until you can stabilize the situation in the home?
Your mother and father? Or sisters or brothers who could help you?

I wish you every healing effort out there; you need assistance in this.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 9/10/2011 9:49:52 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/10/2011 7:45 AM (GMT -5)
IG's advice is right on target. Good luck and remember, you cannot fix her, that is up to her, all you can really do at the moment is take good care of yourself and the children.

Gem
Posted 9/10/2011 9:12 AM (GMT -5)
Hi I have tried all that and also tried getting her family to talk to her but she is just ignoring us all she is telling lies about me saying I'm not letting her see the Children but she hasn't even asked me and the kids have left to stay with someone else and been gone 8 wks aparently she says she is In a bad place and dosnt know who she is at the moment and doing alot of drugs will she ever come to her sences or is she gone for good now I am waiting to get councilling for me and the kids I dnt know whether to start for a divorce as I feel like I cnt do anything right in her eyes what do I do?
Posted 9/10/2011 10:33 AM (GMT -5)
Hello, Johnny84,

You're doing just the right thing by getting counseling for you and the children. If she is also on drugs as well as using alcohol, the chances are very dim that there is anything you can do until she hits bottom.
Even then it is going to be up to her to ask for help.

Put your hopes for the time being in your psychiatrist who will help you and the children to find a better place to live and thrive. That's what you and your children deserve: the right to thrive. Never stay in an environment where death is being pursued--that's what drugs and alcohol will do to one.

It is true that some people have to hit bottom before they can come back to a life of balance and love. You've done the best you could for her, now it's time to take care of you and the children.

Think about asking her to leave your home if it's your home. Get her out of the lives of the children for the present until she's well.

God go with you.

It's Genetic
Posted 9/10/2011 11:43 AM (GMT -5)
Why do they get into drug relationships if they dont know what they are doing my children are asking questions I dont know the answers to what do I tell them
Posted 9/10/2011 1:52 PM (GMT -5)
When people are in severe depression, Johnny84, their intellectual functioning levels are lowered; it's as if they are living in a "fog". They
really don't know too much about how destructive drugs are in the long run, and they don't really care at that point. This is something else you need to discuss with your psychiatrist; your children are not too young to be able to understand that saying "no" to drugs and alcohol may save them from great difficulties in life.

You have to teach them for them to learn these things.

I've been thinking about you a good bit this A.M., and I think it wouldn't hurt if you printed a copy of all this material and put it on a desk somewhere in your home where your wife is likely to see it.

She's actually in an illegal situation now using drugs that may constitute a felony drug charge against her. It's very dangerous to be involved in that kind of irrational  thing.

She may not even know the serious legal difficulty she is in right now.
Maybe you should think about getting the police involved for her own
life's sake. You have a lawsuit against the person providing her with drugs, as you probably know--charges? Contributing to a felony drug
use charge and alienation of affection of your wife.

Otherwise, you need to talk all of this out with your psychiatrist; he needs to know the truth about what's happening in your home and
will offer you his best advice about what to do. Don't endanger yourself or the children by trying to intervene in the drug charges. Let the professionals manage that completely. You need to know, too, that information which you provide to a psychiatrist regarding criminal activity is a requirement for him/her to report to the proper authorities in some states. I don't think they are protected as one might be in the hands of an attorney. States may differ in that regard, however. You
are in territory now that we are not permitted by the rules here to discuss.

Take care of yourself and the children now and be careful.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 9/10/2011 12:59:30 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/10/2011 2:07 PM (GMT -5)
Thanks for all your help I'm just waiting for my first appointment with my counciler wot I will ask tho is why do people get into relationships straight after we were together 8 years and at the mo I defo dnt want another relationship do we know why they do it?
Posted 9/10/2011 2:19 PM (GMT -5)
Not even your psychiatrist could answer that one, Johnny84, without talking first with your wife. Sometimes, people are just unstable in different ways: it may be sexual or other ways in which they are unstable--temperament, values, religious views, personaltities, boredom--any number of types of situations can affect someone.

Maybe just being human makes us vulnerable; many people are faithful and loyal and undisturbed by the problems of others, and they don't involve themselves. That could be a weakness or a strength, depending on how you see it. Your best bet is still to ask your psychiatrist.

Take care.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 9/10/2011 1:27:03 PM (GMT-6)

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