I learned somewhere that if anything goes on that is further out than my nose..then it is none of my business. Usually stirring up a hornets nest either involves something I did, in which case, instead of blaming others, I have to see my part in it and thereby can easily forgive others or...I realize that it has nothing to do with me and I need to stop taking it so personally.
I am also learning about
boundaries. If I am uncomfortable, angry, or complaining; where have I allowed my boundaries...(the limit I can go on anything,) be compromised? Have I learned to say No. Do I know myself well enough to know what my limits are? Do I love myself enough to create peace in my life by not only establishing these personal fences but by keeping them: remaining consistant? Do I know when someone is leaning on my fence and trying to 'push me over?' Can I right myself and my fence by saying, no, I am not ok with this!
Well this is what my hubby has been learning from outpt. rehab. He is so enthusiastic and on fire with his teacher, what he is learning and getting to the core issues of addiction and bipolar that he comes home and teaches me.
Yesterday I set two boundaries. He respected them and so did another person that I had been complaining about
. Remember 'complaining' is a red flag that means our boundaries are being invaded. Boundaries can only be set with someone who respects you. But they can also be set with the ones who are disrespectful. And these folks will be mad at first. So expect that. They are used to pushing you over and they don't like your new walls. But stand firm and not only will you have more peace in your life, they will learn to respect your boundaries in time. It is hard at first. Yesterday I stood up for myself twice. I felt empowered. I was not the people pleaser any more. Wish me luck as I continue to use this in my life. Maybe it will help you with your family situation as well.
Post Edited (red lightening) : 6/12/2012 10:58:09 AM (GMT-6)