Depression/Hypomania and Relationships

Hello all,

I'm bipolar type 2 and was diagnosed in 2003 so it's been a long time. I've managed to lead somewhat of a normal life but with a lot of dramatic changes not long-term stability. Recently I recovered from the harsh end of a 1 year serious relationship in which I was wrongly blamed for things I was not even responsible for. I told myself that I should be anti-guy for at least a year if not two.

I like learning languages and now I speak 4, most recently Italian. I have a lot of Italian friends and one of them started flirting with me and expressed great interest in me. He said so many things to indicate that. So I think I was in hypomania when I started liking him and then I became really focused on him thinking that it's my next love. It was long distance but he was a charmer. However, I started to notice that he was always doing something else and telling me about it instead of actually spending even 10m of time to chat with me. I'm generally a very caring person and he seemed nice. After getting sick of bad/non-communication I became annoyed and was honest with him and explained to him why this would not work and that we should just be friends in an email. He didn't reply. This was 2 days ago.

I just feel terrible because he didn't even bother to respond in any way. Not even a friend! Yesterday I was quite upset but today I'm better. I've never had a successful relationship whereas my values are perfect for being in one. I'm just angry at myself that I let people take advantage of me especially guys again and again.

I still don't understand my bipolar. In a month I went from panic attacks/extreme depression to hypomania followed by depression and now I just feel like I couldn't care less...

Anything would help. Has someone been successful in dealing with guys with this illness?

Love

Hello modemondiale,

Welcome to the Bipolar forum!

Are you using any meds for your Bipolar or are you currently in therapy? I am sorry to hear what happened.

You speak 4 languages! That's wonderful! I only know a bit of Spanish and French from what I learned when I was in school.

A long distance relationship can be hard and it can be a lot of work as well. I believe it can work, but both partners must be committed and honest with each other. They also have to make time for each other via e-mail, phone, skype, etc. Communication is important in any relationship including a long distance relationship. I am very sorry it didn't work out for you.
Do you know you might want to try a relationship with someone closer to you (not a long distance)? This way you can see if it works.

Please feel free to check out our resources section where you can find more info on Bipolar:
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=13&m=350839

Some people are more softhearted than other. I think when people realize this, they take advantage of it. Being softhearted is good at times but you just have to be a bit assertive at time for certain situation. Practice saying no instead of yes all the time.

UA