Hello, Capnin Hapnin,
In some situations, anger or even rage, can be triggered by an affront
to your integrity--that is, someone makes a comment or comments (that
accumulate) against your honesty. When that happens, it's important
to get our your displeasure the first time it happens so that it doesn't
build inside you to the point of rage. (Getting it out by chopping down a tree is one way, too, but at times it's necessary to confront the attacker with a lesson in learning not to attack you so that he is taught. Some people just don't know that it's wrong (big time) to attack another's integrity.
It's much easier on you to get it out constructively at the beginning than to let it build, doing nothing about the affront, until you burst forth with a rage attack at the person or persons insulting your honesty.
THINK first, however. How can you calmly react to an attack on your
integrity and not let it elevate to the next level where the attack will
continue to occur (because the person challenging your honesty knows that you aren't going to do anything about it)?
If you can get out the initial anger without too much emotional involvement on your part, then you have successfully curbed an insult and corrected the person causing it without injury to either yourself or the other person. You'll feel better about yourself for maintaining the integrity of your being
and at the same time constructively warning the challenger that he is making a mistake when he attempts to attack your integrity. That's the most beneficial way to handle it.
Some of us were reared in families in which it was considered wrong
to show anger. That is an improper instruction within the family. Anger is a positive emotion because it protects your inner self from attack. When it reaches the point of rage, however, we have failed to correct the
initial cause of the anger and it gets out of control. That's when it
becomes dangerous. You have to stop it when it first occurs, and that's not easy for those of us reared in families which taught that anger is not a nice emotion.
I admit that it's difficult to overcome, but it can be done, and we're much the better for getting it out when it first happens. Repeating that lesson will eventually bring you to the point that you can get your anger out and feel happy about having done so, and the person causing the anger may learn a little lesson, too. He's much more wary about attacking a strong person or one who is going to retaliate against the insult.
Learning to forgive is another way, too, but we can learn to do that only
after we have realized the insult fully and have agreed to turn it over to a Higher Power to resolve. That's an even more difficult but a more rewarding wayto handle building aggression within. (And it has nothing to do with the fact that you may never want to see that person again; it has to do with cleansing your inner self from pain.)
Take care, Capnin Hapnin.
It's Genetic
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 10/13/2011 1:44:52 AM (GMT-6)