Input needed, Wife of two years

i recently got kicked out by my wife of two years, it all seemed out of the blue no warnings, she has spent her life trying to get diagnosed but with no luck from multipel doctors, she stopped taking her medication back at the end of 2012, since then small things seem to set her off.

In January of this year we moved into a two bedroom house so our two little boys could have a bedroom for themselves, ive noticed spouts of depression e.g not getting out of bed, always tired, not eating, low esteem.

In may social services ended our lives, since then she has been on edge always cleaning making sure the kids are without socks those sort of things, [fast forward to august] the day before she kicked me out she was saying about moving over to Australia with me and the family, renewing our vows next year and trying for a little girls when our sons enter school oh and getting a chicken coop for the garden, a friend has mentioned that she said about 2 weeks ago that she was un-happy with me and that she wants to leave me but she showed no signs of this we me or anyone else and i only got told a few days ago, the day she kicked me out she said she loved me and gave me a kiss in a playful way before heading out with her aunt, when she arrived back she asked me to stop being nice and that i had to go as she was kicking me out of the house, a friend has said Social services gave her a choice me or the kids but no one other then her has heard this, i left it a few days then sent her a card and some flowers she has kept the flowers but unsure of the card, it has now been a week since she kicked me out with no contact from her or the kids ( it should be noted she has had all my stuff dropped off ) but a friend saw her and she was upset about kicking me out, the person who mentioned the unhappy comment has seen started to believe that my partner was lying as i have informed her of the same things on here, my partner reactivated her facebook for a mere 5 minutes then deleted it again maybe to check if on, does any of this seem familiar to anyone else and does it fit with symptoms of bi-polar, as things dont add up in the slightiest.

Hi Geosparkie

I have a bipolar mother. She did crazy ape-crap things. I always thought of her as the evil ***** queen, who woke me up at random times during the night and made me do the laundry or pull out all the dishes and re-wash them before school or the mother who beat me in my bed because she was unsatisfied with my report card. Sometimes I was just lost and confused, not sure what was going on, learned to resent her and blame her for all my troubles and moved to China. No joke. Until I started having my own issues I never understood where she was coming from.

She never got better until she found a combination of medication, and therapy, years after I moved out at the age of 15, having attempted to kill myself the hospital refused to release me into my parents custody so I had to have another adult friend release me and lived with them for awhile. Anyway, long story short it seems also after she went through menopause that she's calmed down quite a bit. For her, she said it was a chemical imbalance in her brain. For some people it can be. I'm not familiar with bi-polar disorder myself other than having dealt with the manic-depressive episodes as a child.

As a child that went through all of that, I've manifested in some pretty severe anxiety and depression throughout my life, having attempted suicide in highschool and having dealt with massive anxiety all my life...until recently I've come to terms with all that.

What I can tell you is that my therapist who has done research on childhood development is that children who grow up in an unchecked manic-depressive environment often have quite a few issues. I think I'm lucky.

I would recommend you do what you need to keep those kids absolutely safe and healthy. Your wife should be the second priority in all this. I know where I'm coming from is totally one-sided as I haven't dealt with bi-polar disorder myself, and I don't want to paint bi-polar disorder in an ugly way, just share with you that I feel strongly you need to think about the kids first and then try and assess what may or may not be going on with your wife.

I think only a trained professional could give you any real advice on this.

My mom and I have a solid relationship now, we've come full-circle, she just needed to find her balance in life. I hope your wife, no matter her state of being, finds balance and that you get the answers you are looking for.

Joshua

Post Edited (Joshua88) : 9/3/2013 8:04:23 AM (GMT-6)

anyone else got a input, ive re written it so that its abit clear:


So I think ill start with abit of back story, me and my partner got married back in 2011 and have two young boys together and a house, she suffers from severe depression and self harming, about a week ago out of the blue she asks me to leave the home after a few hours of trying to convince her not to make me leave and her telling me to stop being nice [ I had just redone the whole house and started to paint the kids room] when I left she apparently came down going im finally free and that she has been unhappy for awhile and wants a divorce , the friend that saw that told me she was saying im controlling, that I make her do things she doesn’t want and that I beat her none of which is true she has more freedom then I do and when she self harms I tend to the wounds and make sure they don’t get infected as I know I cant stop her doing it, back in may social services got involved with our little family, the same friend who heard her saying this told me that social services gave her a choice me or the kids which I do believe as they are the ones saying I was controlling [ I don’t feel comfortable around them so I close up and that comes across as controlling ].

I ended up at my mothers house along with all my stuff except the wedding ring and my bank card so I left it a few days and sent her some flowers and a card [ I didn’t put much in the card just that I understand why she kicked me out and that I hope her and the kids are okay and that I will buy a cheap phone and email her the number so she can get hold of me and that I love her] a friend who lives near by saw her and said that she told him she had to choose between me and the kids because of social services and that she had kept the flowers, it has now been just over a week and still no contact from her so im starting to get more worried everyday, a mate saw her yesterday and said she looked sad but acting happy if that makes sense.

I could really use some help with this as everyone is really confused as in the day before she kicked me out we were talking about renewing our vows we had the ceremony sorted along with the dress’, moving to Australia and having a little girl [saving up for gender selection ] and moving to my childhood home and other plans for the year none of which is what you do with someone your about to leave."