New Member

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure how to properly introduce myself, so I guess I'll share how I got here. My husband of 1 year left me and the kids 3 weeks ago. It was a roller coaster with his mood swings, walking on egg shells around him, etc. I have 2 children from my previous marriage and we have a baby together who will be 1 next week. It got really bad half way through my pregnancy and went down hill fast. He turned into a disconnected monster who I no longer knew. He would get in my face and go off on me and my kids about the littlest things and started throwing things. Once our baby was born it got worse. I will just say that we left in fear of our safety and had a restraining order put in place. Fast forward 5 months. He started counseling and they put him on Prozac and Abilify. I was asked to go to counseling so she could hear my side, and I agreed. It became very apparent that he had a mood disorder so when I saw enough actions consistently, we came back. I have a family member who is bipolar and thought I was equipped enough to understand. That lasted a whole 2 weeks then it rocketed downhill. Fast forward 5 months...I can't stand the mood swings, pushing me and the kids away, him constantly sleeping or being on his phone, his sneakiness, lying even when the truth/facts are presented, blowing our money, making me beg for grocery money,not taking his meds, and that gut feeling that something just isn't right, so I ask him again what is going on. He tells me he's been having an affair with a coworker, doesn't want me or our life (family), just wants to be single and happy. He said he was confused but was not willing to break it off with her to figure out what he wants. he left us the next day. 2 days of no contact he calls crying that he wants to come home, what is he doing, etc. He came over, we talked for a few hours and I ask again if he is going to end it with her. His first answer was no, then yes. I get these nice texts the next day & then I hear nothing. He gave me a general answer when I asked where he was staying. The next day I was emotionally going mad. He didn't answer his phone and I had a sick baby. I went to the hotel he was staying at and called again after I watched him pull up WITH HER DRIVING HER CAR. He went up to his room and called me back. He said his phone was dead and swore He wasn't with anyone. I confronted him when he came back downstairs and even nicely went and talked to her (I was friends with her when I worked with her). He had been lying to the both of us and couldn't lie his way out. Now 3 weeks later he asks to see our little girl for the first time and tells me he wants to fix us, has a psychiatrist appt next month, etc. his actions aren't matching his words still so I am waiting for the psych dr evaluation. His therapist believes it is bipolar and so does his family. This seems to be his life pattern. They switched the Abilify to Latuda 2 months ago but he stopped taking it regularly then all together. I'm still waiting for my life to be flipped right side up and have almost made it 1 day without anxiety or crying. I know it will get better, and have a great support system, including his parents. I just hate feeling lost, abandoned, betrayed, etc. The older kids have gone through so much crap with him the year and a half he's been in our lives and want nothing to do with him, and I can't blame them right now. We're safe and trying to move forward.

I came across this site and was blown away by the supportiveness and understanding and insight of all of you. Thank you all for shedding light in my darkest time.
-Haneliabi

Post Edited (Haneliabi) : 7/26/2015 9:59:26 AM (GMT-6)

Thank you for the warm welcome :)

I'm currently trying to find my own counselor, since she is his. I really like her, and she is helping as much as she can. I'm definitely keeping myself and the kids safe. We met at the park yesterday for an hour and a half, and I kept the focus on the baby. I can tell he is taking his meds again but is still at the flip-flopping place of decision making. One minute he's saying he wants to fix us, the next breath is how does visitation work if we can't be fixed? Honestly I'm not even thinking or considering fixing us at this point. My focus is on healing from all of the damage done to me & the kids and keeping us in a stable place away from his chaos. I realize that it is his responsibility to be in control of his treatment, and only he can choose to do it. He's getting another extended stay close to work (45min from us) after the one he is at is up next week. His parents will be here this week, so I know he will be acting the part of the victim, loving father, husband, etc. We all see through that luckily. I pray for peace especially this week...I know I will need it.

Thank you THE HAPPY TURTLE. I sincerely appreciate them!

Thank you UA. This week's visit with his parents has been nice until this evening's dinner celebrating his and our daughter's birthdays tonight. He was being horrible to me and his mom and honestly I am glad she saw what my every day has been like, even if it was briefly. (she has been in denial about his actions and behaviors). His dad was blown away as well. It's very clear he's having an episode, but the nice (and relieving) part was that I got to come home WITHOUT him. He can enjoy his horrible behavior all on his own, and I can breathe easier not having to walk on eggshells.

It has been a crazy busy week, so my own therapist search will begin on Monday. :) Thank you for the kind words. I feel like I'm beginning to put back the rug that was snatched from underneath me, and you all have been such a blessing and encouraging.