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Chronic Pain
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Posted 5/15/2013 4:09 PM (GMT -5)
I went to my follow up at pm after SI injections and i am still flaring in a diffrent area. I was told 3 years ago i'd live with chronic pain my whole life. Well i think its finally hit after 4 flares going on 5 that this is going to be life and its hard and i feel so small and scared.
Posted 5/15/2013 4:43 PM (GMT -5)
That moment in time when you realize this is it,they are right is a moment we all have experienced I think.

You fight to deny it. You try everything they offer you to change it but the moment still comes.

You waller in the mud for a bit then dust yourself off and move on to how to make it the best you can. Eat healthier, exercise to what limits you have,pull together the best team of healthcare for yourself available.

Then you live everyday hoping for a breakthrough in your issues. A new procedure or therapy whatever you can get.

You are not alone as pretty much everyone of us have been there.

We come here and try to help others and find help many times for ourselves.
Posted 5/15/2013 4:57 PM (GMT -5)
Vickie offered some great thoughts...

This is one of the reasons that I attended Pastoral counseling for about 6 months after I my divorce and my last fusion surgery as I realized that I would be dealing with "chronic" pain.

I've learned to enjoy the good days and just know that I will have some bad ones. As Vickie mentioned, I try to work with my PM Dr. and Neuro to use as many possible modalities to help lower my pain so that I don't put all my hopes onto just one treatment or medication.

I do believe that eating healthy and exercise is crucial to my well being and finding thing that bring me joy each day.

We all have those down days where it's good to just curl up in bed with a great movie/tv show and let the tears flow if needed. I give myself "permission" to do this a few times each year...Just let it all out and mourn my old life.

It takes time and emotional adjustment to live this new life but it can still be absolutely wonderful and filled with many great things!

Sending you some hugs today (( ))
Posted 5/15/2013 5:45 PM (GMT -5)
Bunny,

I'm sorry you are having a hard time :( I get in these places once in awhile, particularly w/ my chronic health issues..... They are non-ending, time consuming and just get me down.

As SB mentioned, I've learned to value the good moments.... and just hold on during the rough times. I know that seems so "straightforward" but it took me years to get there.

I'm not the same person that I was years ago - before the bulk of my health issues. However, I like the person I am now better -- I've learned to appreciate the little things.... find joy in the small things.... And, while I've always tried to be an empathetic person - I'm even better at it these days.

Reach out for support during these low moments - and let others help carry you - that's my best advice....

Hugs, Tina
Posted 5/15/2013 6:32 PM (GMT -5)
So very sorry with what your going thru, it can be very hard when it hits you that you have to live the rest of your life in pain, but you might want to also look into pain management counseling, took me a few tries but I got a good pain management psychologists and we talk every other Thursday, except for Holidays, but it has help and it's great to vent it out loud! I'm glad you found us here as you can vent here as well...but look into counseling or what the others suggested...
many many Prayers and well wishes, do keep hope that maybe there is a medicine that can help, new medicines are coming out all the time...
Posted 5/15/2013 7:20 PM (GMT -5)
My sympathies Bunnygirl......
I agree w SB in that we must enjoy all the good moments and times as much as possible and use the positives to lift us through and help carry us in our tough times. Having people around you that love and support you is very important in going through anything tough in life, as well as self reliance.
I think overall, what ever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger !
I hope it helps to know that you are not alone !!

Wishing all the best

Josh :)
Posted 5/15/2013 8:38 PM (GMT -5)
I'm so sorry Bunnygirl. It is difficult when you realize there is no cure for our situations. I gave up my ability to have kids by having a hysterectomy at 30 and the pain still didn't go away. It broke my heart to say the least.

That's one of the reasons I'm so happy to have found this board... I realize its not just me. I hope your spirits lift. I have been in your shoes and I know how powerless and hopeless it can make you feel.

Many hugs
Posted 5/16/2013 3:55 PM (GMT -5)
I know how you feel, have been through this kind of feeling a few times and it is very hard.

It is tough living with a lifelong disability and coming to the realization that it may never change, and there is a natural period of fighting against it i.e. screaming no no no inside constantly, but after a time it will feel less hopeless, we as human beings have incredible powers of adaptation to even the most extreme of circumstances.

As others mention, it is a case of working to change everything that can be like doctors, meds, lifestyle, to make the main difficulty that bit easier.

There is a quote that goes something like this "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

nvrthesame98 puts it really well for sure

Best of luck. This is a good place to find support.
Posted 5/17/2013 3:56 AM (GMT -5)
I absolutely love the Serenity Prayer Holydiver. I too use it often when things are overwhelming. My grandmother hand stitched a beautiful one many years ago and had it framed for me. It has been a blessing to have this with me. It now hangs over my daughter's bed.

Bunny, I am so sorry this is hitting you so hard right now. Nit always seems darkest before the dawn and perhaps the added pain from the injections was what brought on the other. If so, then it should all even out soon.

I agree that finding a good psych who understands CP can be a vital part of your treatment team. I see mine once a month and he helps me work through the pain and frustration.

I hope you are feeling better now!
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