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What is it WITH PEOPLE NOT GETTING IT?

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Chronic Pain
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Posted 8/29/2013 8:14 PM (GMT -5)
Need to rant here. Why is it you can be in chronic pain, advocating for yourself (i move and am in DIRE need of TREATMENT) and the people you have supported through thick and thin dont' get it?

I have communicated my needs...........I have explained how I feel emotionally, and yet I feel so misunderstood and ALONE.

I feel I am fighting the fight and I cant' even get my bf to make calls for me now...He feels he's Under attack.............From what?

I wake up daily tryign to stay postive, trying to get better, pushing.........I don't get postive reinforcemnet........Any one else out there feel this way? I swear it's the most annoying feeling in the world...........
Posted 8/29/2013 8:31 PM (GMT -5)
Are you talking about drs, your bf or both "not getting it ?"What types of calls do you need your bf to make ? If you're looking for a new dr you need to be the one to make the calls. Maybe I'm misunderstanding.
Posted 8/29/2013 8:45 PM (GMT -5)
Venting in General. I need a new PCP shes refusing to see me at this point any sooner than mid month. I've been at the er 3X'S IN 2 weeks and tonight the excsue me idiot BF blows up at me over nothing...............On my last nerve.

When I say calls it's hard for me to do when I have severe headaches....I need help as I can't communicate well and it hurts to hear noise. No offers.

And I got told ealier he feels like he's doing "everything". He's not...........Far from it. I am nto looking for sympathy.......I want empathy and I want ot be treated like a wounded human becasue well I am.........
Posted 8/29/2013 8:49 PM (GMT -5)
What did the ER tell you ? Has the ER contacted your dr ?
Posted 8/29/2013 8:51 PM (GMT -5)
Have you tried to sit down with him and ask him why he feels the way he does? It sounds like there's a big miscommunication going on. The only way to fix that is to sit down and try and talk it out. Have you told him what you need? What does he say?
Posted 8/29/2013 9:11 PM (GMT -5)
Mercy, yes I told the ER doc what was going on and I brought my medical records. ER doc said follow up with PCP.

Lexi, yes I have sat down with him. He's told me outright he's sick of hearing about my "migrines". He is clear on what I need help with, hoever he sits most of the day. :( On a positive note he has been doing some shopping and some cooking. (not tonight of course he's pissed)

I get drained from the pain and when and if it let's up I am utterly exhausted.

When I talked to him ealier and told him I am afraid this is goona snowball as not much is getting done I got thrown back in my face of stuf" I HAD TO DO" and he told me blanltey he's doing "EVERYTHING". WHich he's not. :(

What' sreally eating me up is the lack of emotianll support. WHen we first got together he'd put ressure on my head etc....

One Dr even told him to rub my neck to help with the spasms...............He told me to have my Father do it............
Posted 8/29/2013 9:31 PM (GMT -5)
The reason I asked about the ER is because sometimes they let the dr know if a pt presents in the ER with something that they consider serious. Maybe you should consider changing your pcp. Did they gie you anything for the pain ?
Posted 8/29/2013 10:46 PM (GMT -5)
Men as a rule are fixers, they do not have the nurturing side that females have. He could be stressed because he cannot fix you. Even so, that does not give him the right to act the way he is. Since he is your BF you may want to consider if this is how you want to have a long term relationship if he cannot handle your health issues. There are some people that cannot handle being around people that have health problems. My brother cannot handle being around someone that is not up to par. What is really strange about that is he has had many severe health issues and problems but always bounces right back & surprises his drs. He thinks everyone is this way, or should be this way.

I do hope you can get a new PCP who will refer you to a good neurologist to get your migraines under control. Keep us posted...Susie
Posted 8/30/2013 3:41 AM (GMT -5)
Aphena I don't expect anyone to do anything for me just because I'm living with health issues. I do expect some people to do some things out of love for me.

Being a CPer doesn't guarantee entitlement to anything from anyone.

When I stopped expecting it then I stopped being disappointed and that's one less headache to deal with.

Maybe making those calls on good days? Most medically related issues wont allow discussion with your BF anyway and you then would have to call yourself so might as well just do it and save yourself the argument with him.

If we tend to let our lives become nothing but our pain then that's more information then most folks care to hear.
Posted 8/30/2013 5:24 AM (GMT -5)
The only things I expect my husband to do is the things o physically can not do. (Pick up our daughter out of bed and put on my work boots and then take them off) everything else I can do I do. If he does it for me i make sure to let him know I am grateful. If he doesn't do it I do it myself. Being in chronic pain only entitles you to nadda. Don't expect someone who has never been in chronic pain to understand where you are coming from. My favorite thing someone says about chronic pain is "oh I understand I hurt my knee and it lasted for like a month" I have to bite my lip not to snap back. Chronic pain doesn't mean pain it means chronic no end in sight pain. No one but another pain suffering will understand. Understand he wants to fix you and he can't like Sookie says you need to reaffirm the good they do and let go of the bad that they do.
Posted 8/30/2013 8:23 AM (GMT -5)
It has become extremely hard for us to:

1. Finding a great Doctor willing to help manage our pain.
2. Getting the proper medication to manage our pain.
3. Getting the meds filled from the pharmacy without feeling like a criminal or having insurance pay for it.
4. Getting insurance or having insurance pay for medication and procedures.
5. Having family members or spouse 100% support.

Back in the day none of this was an issue.

In fact I remember you didn't even have to go to the Doctor to get a script for meds, they would call it into the pharmacy, done. With all the Doctor shopping and pain factories those of us in real pain are now suffering.

Luckily I don't have any issues with that list. I have a fantastic PM Doctor, fantastic pharmacist, fantastic insurance and a wife who's awesome. I'm very private about my condition to everyone else including family.
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