Relating With Others -- (When in pain)

Hey all. I've just started networking to build a team of advisers -- getting ready to look for a new company to buy.

Let me tell you; these lunches and coffee meetings are hard on the days I'm really hurting. My passionate self is inside, and I do a good job at trying to portray it -- but all I really want to do is go home, turn the heat up, and sit with a heating pad.

Just venting. I've been meeting a lot of people lately, and some of the small talk stuff with strangers is not my cup of tea when hurting, as I get a bit "off" and mentally zoning out.

Thanks for the listening ear. :)

I'm finding that some balance, as well as strategic honesty... helps.

I'm trying to choose only so much to handle any given day, and then be honest that I may not always feel well so not to take things personally if I come across as a little off or abrupt.

Also... trying to not be hard on myself. I'm putting myself out there a lot right now, and trying to just appreciate the good things I have been able to do.

I had a boss who struggled with that. He would have me either set a reminder alarm on his calendar or make a phone call to him at a pre-determined time on his "bad" days. That way, he could start the meeting & tell the clients how important their business was & that he wanted to make sure that he was focusing on a productive meeting rather than watching the clock, so his assistant was going to call him with a 5 (or 10) minute warning before his next meeting.

He didn't actually have another client that he was meeting. He just knew his limits and played to his strengths. If he knew he could only manage 30 minutes on a particular day, he would really stick to that limit while making sure to make the best of that time. He had much more success doing things that way than trying to struggle through an hour long meeting. If appropriate, he would also record the conversation on his phone to review more when he felt better. Know the laws in your state because some states require 2-party consent & even if that's not required, you'll want to be sensitive to how it will be perceived by the other party. To explain, he just would say that he is very much a 1000-mile view thinker whose strength is his ability to see the big picture, so he records the conversations to make sure that he doesn't lose track of all the important little details. Clients seemed to accept that explanation without question & they were much happier with that than when he would forget things and have to make excuses for that.

Good luck with your new endeavor! Sounds so exciting. Being your own boss does take a lot of energy, but also has many advantages for those of us dealing with chronic pain/health issues because of the flexibility it affords us.