Self esteem anc chronic pain

There are days that are really great, and days that are very compromising. Does anyone else have that eternally happy friend that instead of listening always has a hopeful response and spreads the joy that he/she knows you "will be miraculously healead?" Would anyone else like to punch that person in the face?

So I find myself searching for reasons to like myself. My self esteem before this was never good, but has continued to take sucker punches and sank to a new low with my diagnosis. I guess I always held on to that hope that there would be a cure when we found an answer to the question of what is wrong with me. So, now I search around inside myself and outside too for good things to help me feel better about myself, which at times feels like a never ending quest for the holy grail. Maybe I need a man running behind me banging coconuts together!

Sorry, silly moment completely dedicated to the older crowd! Does anyone else remember that movie? But I digress.  Yesterday, after a very long few days of kidney stone agony and just deciding putting off my life for it was no longer the way to go, I met my director with Mary Kay. She was full of compliments, which I expected and didn't believe completely. She asked me why I still strive to do anything if it causes so much pain? Why don't I just lay down and take care of myself and a few things for my family? I just spoke. I can find at least one thing about a woman that is beautiful, and show her how to enhance it. Before she knows it, she loves that one thing, and begins to see other things that are beautiful or special about herself. The next thing she may know, is that she is smiling more, feeling good about herself, and spreading her happiness to others. It is my goal to give that happiness to as many people as possible whether through a facial, a kind word on a bad day, or my help.

 

So today, having a bad one again, I laid here a bit and started to feel good about myself in spite of pain. Its not about making lots of money, or having the most of something, or even having pain gree days, self esteem is about feeling good about what you do. I love being a mother, wife, learning, and making other people feel special through church, Mary Kay, or just listening. Even if I never make any money, it will still feel great for trying. Who am I kidding, making money would be awesome, but I can still feel good if I dont!

So God bless you all today, and may you have good days even if they are not low pain days!

Mindy

 

Hi Mindy,

Thank you. Thanks for saying everything I feel and keep inside so that I don't punch "that person" in the face! My "family of origin" told me that they wanted to see my MRI's and the doctor's report because I don't look sick! LOL!! One sister is a doctor married to a doctor, and one is a Nurse Practioner. It makes me feel so bad about myself that they would think I would be untruthful about something like this??? Seriously, I realized once again why I have spent years developing my very own family, including brother's and sister's who do not share my blood, but who do share my love.  I'm so glad you busted out with all that, it's nice to know someone else feels that way! Honesty, you are full to the brim with it and I really admire that in a person. The only thing that is difficult for me to understand is that you have low self esteem when you can....

"I can find at least one thing about a woman that is beautiful, and show her how to enhance it. Before she knows it, she loves that one thing, and begins to see other things that are beautiful or special about herself. The next thing she may know, is that she is smiling more, feeling good about herself, and spreading her happiness to others. It is my goal to give that happiness to as many people as possible whether through a facial, a kind word on a bad day, or my help."

 

It is evident by your post that what you said is very true! Now I would love for you to try and put the nah sayers aside, look at yourself in the mirror! Inside and out, you are one more lovely woman! Of course I've never seen you, it doesn't matter, the words you spoke from, "There are..." right down to the last word said it all.  I love laughing and you made me laugh today! Thank you! I hope you post all the time and I'll be right there to read every word.

Stace/Catz4

 

Mindy, I feel so for you. Self esteem was very difficult for me in my early life. It took my first husband (at 19) beating the crap out of me and then a second very destructive marriage to help me understand that I was worth so much more. I still suffer because of my weight.

The one thing that helped me more than any therapy and any med or any talk was taking a very brief and very hard instructor certification course. I was scared to death to speak in front of others when I started. Three weeks later, I was LOVING the experience. Something changed inside. I could stand in front of a group (unless I was on a stage....I hate standing on stages) and teach a class with the best of them and I was good. This felt so wonderful to me and now I feel I HAVE to teach my daughter to be proud of who she is no matter what. She is honestly beautiful and smart, but she has too much of her mother in her to be gifted in artistic ways. She can't clap to the beat, she can't play sports well because they require team coordination. She can run, however, faster than any person I know and she has her own sense of style that cannot be beat.

I compliment her every time I see something that she does well, be it kindness or simply doing well on a test. I never compliment what is not an asset because I don't want her to feel she is "perfect"....only that she is perfect to me in every way.

I think this is what you may be missing.....you are perfect to someone in every way. You have to see yourself from their eyes once in a while. They don't see an extra pound or two, a limp, a day when your hair could be styled a litle better (not that these apply to you)...they see you! They see the person they love and who loves them unconditionally! They see their mother, their friend, their child, their confidant. They see who we see and that is someone pretty special.

Mindy...

Life's been so crazy for me that I haven't been able to post to you.... but I have read everything you've written.. and feel connected to much of what you've said, through my own personal experiences. You are a very wise woman and, I can tell you have a wonderful heart. I know that - for many of us - it's hard to see things within ourselves (but, yet, can see it in others for some reason)... but just from reading what you've written on the board, everyone can see your beauty (and humor!).

Not sure if all of that came out right... my mind is tired today... but I hope you got the meaning behind it ;)

--Tina

Girls, Girls, Girls!!! Jeeze> Y'all made me cry reading your posts! I only hope the best for all of you wonderful Ladies!
Anyone who knows me knows that Self Esteem is one of my biggest problems!! Not only do I feel like punching someone in the face, I feel like punching myself in the face more!!! I don't know why I hate myself so much but reading your posts helps lessen the pain!
God Bless The Ladies!!!!
Love All Y'all!!!
Thanks so much!!
Pete