Getting married in 3 weeks...need survival tips

Ok. I am here bearing reassurrance. I had the SAME worries as you leading up to my wedding. Not nervous about marriage, nervous about getting through a Catholic ceremony, on the altar, for an hour, etc. First, I picked really short reading and songs to kind of speed things up a bit. Second, I got up early, ate just a little something. Pooped some while at the hairdressers.  I actually had to have her stop doing my hair so I could go. Then I popped back some immodium. After I got home and started getting ready I stopped drinking anything. With my panic attacks i have to pee really bad too. So, per my male bridesmaid, I was put on liquid restriction and could only suck on an occasional ice chip to deal with mouth dryness. Now here is where the story gets strange -

I had voiced my fears to my coworkers and one guy was like look, trust me, you will be so wrapped up in the day you will forget all about your stomach. Now this really ticked me off. Crohns is a disease and not in my head you jerk... have you ever had a stomach flu? Could you forget it no matter how hard you tried? But here is the weird thing, he was right. I still had my nervous panicky feeling in the limo riding to the church. We got there early and had to sit for about 10 minutes in the limo. I started getting nervous wondering how I would make it through with my giant dress on that would make using the bathroom a HUGE ordeal. But as soon as I got out of that car and walked into the church I honest to God forgot about my stomach until after the ceremony, after the reception, and after the limo ride to the hotel!! I would never have believed in a million years that it could be possible but I did, and I am going to wager to bet that once that ceremony starts you too will feel like a million bucks.

Now as far as dealing with the anticipatory anxiety. Most of my friends and family and husbands friends and family new I was newly diagnosed. That helped a bit because if I bolted from the altar they would know why. I spoke about it with my priest and we had contingency plans. If I got to a part in the ceremony where I needed a break I would just walk to the bathroom off to the side as if it was part of the ceremony and the organist/singer would do a song until I got back. You should speak with your crew and see if you could arrange this safety net too. If you love your bridesmaid enough maybe she could join you in your pooping session to make sure you get everything put back together right and keep it out of the toilet. I never needed the backup plan but it felt so good to know it was there.

Seriously, I am a girl that pees at least twice an hour and at that point was pooping 5 times a day. After my immodium I didn't poop again and I think I honestly peed once between the time I got the dress on and the time the dress came off. I wish you the same luck I had and trust me, I didn't think it was possible.

Kam congratulations on the coming wonderful event!  I got married almost 4 years ago.  Like you, I was worried about bathroom trips and sickness during the day.  Like Fitzy said, I just prepared as much as I could, then went with what happened during the day.  Like you, I cared about the marriage, not the wedding so everything was pretty simple (hey we were 38 and 40 the year we got married)---just make the rest of the day simple for yourself.

1) I wore thigh highs instead of pantyhose so if I needed to run to the potty, it would be less of a project.  I also picked a dress style that was not too bulky in the bathroom (too late for that now, but remember that people will help you with your dress, they love that stuff!).  2) Ask for help and let people help!  Ask someone to be responsible for the little things that day...I had someone else in charge of getting the programs in into the church etc 3) eat small meals all day so you keep your energy up, but don't have too big a gutful if you need to go.  I asked the waitress for our table to save me a plate of mashed potatoes for later in case I was hungry again--she microwaved me a plate around 10pm so I could keep going.  4) Don't drink at the reception---I avoided anything after the toast just to make sure even though I know I usually handle 1 drink well.  5) Smile all day...it makes you feel better

Non CD wedding advice - 1) look at everyone as you walk up the aisle!  It was so nice to see everyone smiling and I enjoyed them enjoying the day. 2) enjoy the "bubble" - after I took my Dad's arm, I went into this bubble that I had no control anymore and everything will be as it will be.  ENJOY THE DAY!!!!!

I recently remairried and went through a spell of active disease leading up to it. I found taking about 10 minutes a day to just mediate and let negative thoughts pass through and out helped me relax and let go of the stress. If that didn't work, I had a back up of Xanax to take the edge off. LOL!

Yay! Another anti-bridezilla!

Definitely talk to the doc about some ativan (or similar). God knows I went through a few clonopin.

I'm pretty much the queen of list making, and that helped, I thought. Especially in the last couple weeks. it kept me from getting overwhelmed, because I had things broken into bite size chunks. I took a few sheets of tractor feed paper and wrote up everything that had to be done -- wedding related or otherwise -- and figured out where I could fit wedding stuff in and stuff without over doing it. It kept me from having days where I ran like a crazy idiot for fifteen hours every so often. I stuck the whole thing to the front door with a magnet so that Kerry could see it too. We had some cleaning up and cleaning out to do since we were going to have people staying with us, which was not a job I had any intention of tackling by myself.

I had things go wrong, and most of them weren't earth shattering. Mostly, I just worked on rolling with the stuff that popped up, making sure I asked myself: "is this really critical, or will it be a really funny story a few weeks from now?" Most things went into the funny story category.

Don't be afraid to delegate! I got a lot of practice in this category, since it isn't something I always do well. So, yeah. Call up friends and family and put them to work.

Good luck! Keep us posted!

My advice is to enjoy it and live happily ever after. Very Best Wishes for a good life together. lol gail

i agree with fitzy's co worker,try not to think bout it,coz any time i worry bout pooping etc i usually end up hafing to go lol its annoying as hell