i dont know what to do now with my crohn

hey guys!
i cant decide what to do now because my situation is complicated. sorry if its too long and for my poor english.
about me:
at 12 years old (9 years ago) they found i have crohn (didnt eat, had huge pain and lost like 15kg.)
they gave my steroids and alot other medicine untill the remission.
from 12 and a half to 16 i took remicade every 2 months (at the start took imuran with that.) felt regular.
at 16 i decided i DONT want to take this huge affects medicine. i took only imuran for like a year and a half and then the crp started to go up (i still did blood test and went to my doctor every 2-3 months to check everything okay). the doctor said the crp is not normal but i felt normal. only couple of months after i lost some weigh and got some pains. did a colonoscopy - the results show that the disease attacked the colon again. realy bad.
then i started to take HUMIRA every 2 weeks (i do it at my own in my house.) after like 2 weeks the crp drop and everything was okay.
now - im 2 years with humira. speaking of the crohn i was okay but i just feel weak. i get sick alot and alot infections and i just feel like the medicine crap on my body and my immune system.
i talked to my doctor and said i want to go med-free. she said its a risky move and i agreed to do a colonoscopy so she can see what the condition of the colon is. (i do it next week.)
also my crp got up to 8 2 months ago, and i did this week another blood test and it still 8. was sick alot tho so i dont know if it the crohn (i feel perfectly fine with the crohn.)

now - i realy want to go med free but im scared to be under attack again. at age 12 i just wanted to die from the pain.
the doctor is scared to cut me off the meds but she said that even if the desease will attack again i can take humira again and it should work. also did 2 months ago the calprotectin test and it was fine.
2 weeks ago i didnt had time to buy humira and just didnt realy care, and i didnt do it and this sunday i will miss a second time. feeling normal for now.
all those years (beside the 3 months at age 12 and the 2 months at 18) i felt normal. i honestly eat junks all day and feel normal. i dont have any diet or food that make me in pain or something.
still if i will stop with the medד i will try to eat healthy to help my body.

what do you guys say?

Welcome to the forum. My son is your age and was dx with Crohn's 18 months ago. He did not tell me - or his dad - that he had had bloody diarrhea for almost two years and felt weak (from anemia). Because he was unmedicated he developed "a cold stricture" which continued to develop even after starting Remicade and Imuran. Within 8 months of diagnosis he became so sick he ripped a tear in his esophogus (from vomiting when his stricture caused a total obstruction). He then had an illeocecal resection to take care of the obstruction. His GI said that his Crohn's escalated because it was untreated. I can understand the desire to go med free but I agree with gumby44 that it is risky. My son was told if he quit remicade he would most likely develop antibodies and then that medication would not be an option. I hope the colonoscopy will give you some direction. Best of luck in what you decide to do.