So frustrated - chronic perianal abscess

Hi! New member here! So, a little background...
I'm a healthy, 30 year old female. Or so I thought?
In August 2013, I had this place come up just to the right of my anus and I thought that maybe it was a hemorrhoid? I ended up going to see my pcp, and he said that it was an abscess, and he lanced it. I thought I was good to do, until 2 months later, it came back up. He referred me to a general surgeon.
November 2013, I had a fistulotomy because it turns out that I had a fistula. He inserted a seton and it came out about 3 weeks later.
January 2014. I had an abscess come up on the left side, and he did an incision and drainage. He put packing in it, but gave me no instruction with it. So I took it out after 3 days and that was that. I thought I was good to go... They continuously drained for quite a few months...
January 2016. New surgeon. I had another incision and drainage on the left side. He packed it and sent me to have it repacked 2-3 times a week for about 2 months.
June 2016. I went back to the wound care clinic that was doing my packing because I was in a lot of pain. They had me admitted to the hospital and I was having another incision and drainage within 3 hours. More packing. More visits 2-3 times a week.
July 2016. Another incision and drainage. Left side. Seton placement. Had it tightened every 2 weeks for 6 weeks, then he removed it.
It seems that every time my period rolls around, I will get the swelling from the abscess, and then it will open up after a few days... Sometimes I can handle it. I will do epson salt baths... Sometimes I just can't take it anymore. I have brought up the period correlation with my surgeon and he seemed to think that there was no connection.
January 5th 2017. I went to the ER because I was in so much pain from an abscess, but this time on the RIGHT side. The ER doctor came in to just lance it, but then he spoke with a surgeon on call who is part of my primary surgeons group... He came in and spoke to me and we decided to do an incision and drainage under anesthesia. More packing. Went to have it changed the next day and the surgeon on call asked if I'd ever had a colonoscopy. Why no I haven't. After the 5 previous surgeries, no one thought to recommend that for me! He also asked if anyone in my family ever had Crohns. Not that I know of. But still, the first person who has asked me these questions!
January 30th 2017. Another Incision and drainage on the left side. Seton placement.
So this is where I am. It has been nearly 3 weeks since I have had this. I went this last week to have the seton tightened (and just a general post op appt.) They referred me to a colorectal surgeon. I have an appointment with him this upcoming Monday.
The answers I keep getting from all of these surgeons... Well, sometimes people just get them chronically.
Well...
I mean it's just frustrating. I have a surgery, I miss work for a couple of weeks. I'm stuck in this cycle. And my insurance doesn't cover everything until I hit my $6,000!!!! deductible. So not only am I missing work to have these, but I am having to come out of pocket SO much money for these!

I have a seton in... But the past 4-5 days, it has felt like I have another abscess forming more towards the back of where my abscesses have been.
Is this something that could happen? Can an abscess happen if you have a seton in? I guess maybe it could be in a different place...
I know that the first thing that the colorectal surgeon is going to want is a colonoscopy... My husband has been asking for years why I haven't had an MRI done... I didn't even know until I started reading up on a few things that this could even help...

I'm just so upset and frustrated... my self esteem is completely GONE... I am just over it. I don't know how much more I can take.

I just need someone that understands... I know my husband is becoming worn down with everything as well... It's taking a toll on not only our finances, but our relationship as well...

Thanks in advance

Whitney

Yeah, you DEFINITELY need a colonoscopy. So sorry for what you're going through. I understand your frustration and pain. I got my first abscess-turned-fistula (recto-vaginal) just three months after I got married. My husband was so patient. But it definitely can make you feel gross and ugly and all of that. These are not "sexy" diseases like cancer or MS that you can talk about at the dinner table! But know that you are most definitely not alone.