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Posted 11/8/2012 10:46 PM (GMT -5)
I know no one here can learn enough about my situation to offer clear feedback, so this is more just to get some thoughts off of my chest. It's been a while since I've posted here so I thought I'd venture back for a bit.

I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now. Things were great in the beginning, as usual, but now every little thing is irritating me. I don't know if it's because we're just not working out together, or if it's my depression bringing me down and I'm just taking it out on him. How do you know? There are rational reasons for me to not be entirely happy with the relationship, but there are other reasons why I should be. Just a little confused right now, and unhappy, and not sure what to do. It seems I am trying to push him further away everyday, and I'm not sure if that's what I really want or not :( It would be so much easier if I didn't have emotional problems interfering with my relationships, but not knowing which it is (depression or genuine disappointment in the relationship) is just making daily life difficult. How do you cope with this thought?
Posted 11/9/2012 6:22 AM (GMT -5)
Maybe take a break and assess your feelings. You could be unhappy and that is why you feel irritated, or the depression could be doing it. But it sounds like maybe the relationship is making you depressed. Can you end it on a good note? I mean so that you aren't enemies? Maybe let him know you need some tme to think and figure out your feelings... I am sorry that you aren't happy.ss

I kind of went though this before. But I genuinely loved the man. I just didn't like him. Which is hard to deal with. Especially when the two of us didn't get along. But it sounds to me like you just plain aren't happy. Take a break and see where it takes you...

One day at a time...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/9/2012 3:55 PM (GMT -5)
Are you on medication for your depression? Are you doing any daily skills to deal with it or going to therapy for your depression?

These things are key on how you would approach a relationship.

If you can not handle daily life on your own, a relationship will seen too overwhelming.

You must take care of yourself first. Find self-love then you can handle a relationship.

Trina
Posted 11/9/2012 6:41 PM (GMT -5)
No, I am not on medication and will not seek therapy. Depression is not new to me, and I know what works for me (and have a degree in psychology, ironically). I have been doing very well for a long while now. But every once in a while I have "episodes" when I feel very down. I don't know if this is one of those times, or if it's the relationship itself.

I don't know if I can ask for a break without it turning ugly. I tried talking to him to have one or two nights a week to myself instead of being with him everyday and the conversation did not go well because he thought I was trying to break up with him. I think part of my unhappiness is the all-or-nothing that I feel with him.

I feel pretty good when I'm at work, like it's an escape from my pitiful personal life. Which is why I think it is the relationship that is bringing me down. It's just hard because he is a good guy, and I know I take a lot of effort with my depression and anxiety and not many people are willing to try, but it just isn't working out. And that thought alone is depressing :(
Posted 11/9/2012 7:38 PM (GMT -5)
It sounds like this is more of a relationship issue to you than a depression issue. You have to do what is right for you. Maybe sit down and journal about this to sort it out. You have to think of yourself in this situation. You said if you ask for a break that it could get ugly? Is that because of the way he might react? If this is a problem for you, then maybe you shouldn't be in this relationship. That is if it is something like that. It doesn't sound like he is a compromising person, and maybe he is even a little bit insecure. I could be wrong. Either way you got to find out what is right for you and do it, or you will never be happy. I hope you find some answers soon.

Hugs, Karen
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