My Ex relationship

I've been thinking about my past relationship esp the one that I'm stuck with. There's this one song that sums it all up "Brick" by Ben Folds Five.

I've just realised that I'm totally screwed by my ex. I can't go anywhere if I want to see my son. I really hate myself. I'm in a dead end city with no job of my dreams. As I grow older, it seems a lot harder to find friends, because 1. I don't go out because I've got child care duties, 2. I don't go to pubs and bars. 3. I tried internet friendship, not many from my state. 4. I don't have a lot of energy to do certain things people in my age group may still do.

It really sucks, sometimes, I do wish there's a rewind button. Sometimes, I think of dark thought esp since I got majority, and my son says he misses my ex during weekdays... it just kills me inside. That just make me felt like, telling him your wish may come true if you keep it up.

Thank you for reading.

I take him out doing fun things... but you know, I've met enough parents from schools, taking him to the parks are going to meet the group of parents....

I don't want to live in this city, I want to move to Sydney or move overseas.... which means, she will demand full custody. Then instead of 60% that I've got now, it'll be down to 20%...

Life SUX!

I've him Monday after school, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday till after 6pm. And Sunday morning 9 - 12 (this one is a new arrangement).

I felt there's no good role model in her house. Her brothers both in their 30s still stay in the family home, so does she and her sister. One of the brother is still at college doing undergrad, the other one does nothing but play computer games all day. Her sister works though. The girls are better influence for him, but there's no good make role model for him in that household.

Her mother is going through a bitter divorce, but my son is shielded from that. He's sleep in the same bed with her everytime he visits (which is not good for his development). She complains about whatever I do for him, giving him a proper life, setting up playdates for him, taking him to after school activities, like soccer, netball, skating lessons and on sunday, we do fun stuff like zoo, bowling, am planning to take him to the beach in the school holidays. And yet, she's critical about what I do. And because, I'm the enforcer, my son, thinks it's better to be at mum's. Where everyday is iPad, TV and nintendo DS console. Doesn't need to do home work, etc.

I'm on the verge of giving up and just leave. I know if I do that, my son will grow up without a father; at the same time, I don't think I've been fairly recognised for all the work I put in. The worst thing is, I'm getting paid slight more than she is while still taking care of him more than she does, she's now claiming child support from me. And child support doesn't care that I'm sick and have medical bills up my nose. My anti depressant is $50 a week. My pain meds, is $20 a week. Doctors is like $200 a fortnight. Where on earth am I going to find extra money to pay her to stay at her mum's house.

This is seriously unfair. The stress of explaining it to the child support is getting to me, they gave me forms after forms to fill in, and say it's going to take 3 - 5 months to get reassess. In the mean time, I've been screwed over. MY happiness been taken away. I've been given extra stress. I've had enough of all this.

Post Edited (clarie) : 6/26/2013 12:54:23 PM (GMT-6)

Unfortunately in Australia, you can't get 100% custody unless the other parent is unfit to be a parent. which mean, my ex would either have to be a drug addict, abusive/ violent, incarcerated or a nut case.

Even if one parent is disabled, they would still encourage shared custody. Overhere, they use the term "best interest of the child". And as far as the law goes, best interest of the child includes having access to both parents.

I'd love 100% custody, it'd make me happier in many ways because, I don't have to worry what will he be up to on weekends. Will he be bored? Will my ex just leave him around the house and lock herself up in the bedroom and read (which is often). I can't proof all that, besides, that it won't jeopardise her custodian, because she can simply argue that there are so many people in the house making sure he's not making any mischief.

Thanks for listening. I just pray everyday that somehow some miracle will happen and my son will be given to me.