I'm not sure what to do anymore.

On May 2nd, 2013 my little brother Austin was killed in a fatal car accident and even before that I was battling with depressions and that... Just completely destroyed what was left of me. Now I just don't know what to do anymore. Some days I'm okay, others I feel like *******. I've tried talking to therapists, I've been taking my medication, I talk to friends, family and yet I still feel worthless. Isn't it supposed to start getting better? 'cause I feel much worse than I ever have. At this point I just don't care about anything anymore. I feel tired all the time and lost all motivation to do anything. I just lock myself in my room all day and play world of warcraft since I feel it's an escape from the madness in my life. But as I do this my parents become enraged with me. My Dad won't even look at me and smile, he just has this angry look on his face. I feel like an outcast and I don't know what to do anymore. Yes they are mourning too, but I didn't do anything... I try so hard, yet all my efforts seem to be unrecognized. So I hide away. I've tried facing my problems, but it hits me like a ton of bricks and pushes me even closer to hurting myself or worse...
I don't know what to do anymore

Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 8/14/2013 4:16:57 AM (GMT-6)

Sometimes with grief, you need to hit the point where you realize you have to turn yourself around and get out of it. My sister died 5 May 2012, of complications from leukemia. She was 54.

Your parents have had as great a loss as you. Have you tried to help them through their grief?

As for being an outcast, if you are hiding in your room, you have made yourself one. Maybe it's time to stop hiding yourself on a desert island with a computer. Step outside of your room and help yourself to make a change.

My thoughts for you.

Raptured Planet,

Sorry I had to edit your post, we can not discuss self harm and a few other things on this forum. This in NO WAY DECREASES your pain!

Sounds like perhaps cognitive therapy would be a good thing for you. It focus on positive thought processes and turns your negative thoughts into more positive ones.

You have also received some very good advice already!

Medication can only do so much we have to work hard to help it do the rest.
Research DBT and look at the resources available under this first thread in this forum. Somethings may help you.

Getting outside is key, going for a walk everyday may help you a lot, even if it is just for 15 min.

Peace and courage!
Trina