Part of my problem

I don't know your situation....I can only comment on what info you supplied in this one post. You say: It takes all that I have to keep myself together...It is mentally exhausting and combined with the medical issues I have gone on, it is wearing me thin....sometimes I feel like I am sliding again



How can you adequately take care of anyone if you don't look after your own needs?
Maybe you should talk with your dr or therapist to develop strategies on handling this stress. With their help you can develop an action plan or an exit strategy. I don't see this situation (per your description) as very healthy for you or for her.
Good Luck. I hope this works out for you.

I know. I have been talking to my therapist and she has been hers. I am trying to take care of myself, but that is part of it. I am doing what I can to take care of myself, but Ihen nights like last night happen, I feel like I am at my wits end.

She is normally a good kid, but like me, she is on the autism spectrum. That combined with depression and ptsd (her, not me), makes her very hard to deal with at times. I have to remain calm and not show any emotion, or she will feed off that emotion and freak out. Last night, I don't think I quite knew what to do. Anything I would have said would have been (and was) taken the wrong way - even something positive.

I do assure you that I am taking care of myself the best I can... I would be a lot worse if I wasn't. Last night was just very hard.

are you both using coping skills?

meds do not fix everything.

Peace
Trina

Thank you everyone for responding.

I should probably give a little background on the other night. I wrote that as things were going on. I was totally stressed out and blended what was going on right then with things that normally occur with her.

If I did not mention, she is my daughter. Like me, she is on the spectrum, and that causes problems on its own. That night, she was upset and tired. She felt like her sister attacked her, and then when she found out that her favorite store/hang out place might be closing, she just lost it. I tried to calm her down, but with her, it is touchy. If I say that wrong thing, it could lead to a full blown meltdown (although it was pretty darn close to it on Tuesday). I also have to hold all my emotions back or she will feed off of my frustration and that could send her into a worse state. It sounds bad, but that is only at her worst. Most of the time, she is a really good kid and I have no problems - minus the typical teen problems. She does have depression, ptsd, and anxiety too.

As for me, I have problems with insomnia, but lately, instead of not being able to get to sleep, I am having problems staying asleep (and my dreams are disturbing). For some reason, I was high strung on Tuesday and the lack of sleep did not help. When she started to melt down, I didn't know what else to do, so I just typed. The comment I made about the slipping is because I have been taking care of her during very hard times, and it wears on you. My depression started coming back, not because of her, but because taking care of her and her unbridled emotions takes a toll. I am okay now, but that night, I just needed a hug (not that I would get that here - but I think you know what I mean.

I do thank everyone for their comments.

(and it is so much easier typing on a keyboard as opposed to my phone).

Yes. She is in therapy, and sees a psych too. This summer, they were very worried about her, but found the right mix of meds and it started to pull her out. She actually likes and wants to go to counseling. It helps her when she is stressed.

As for her age, she is 19, but having autism, her emotional age is closer to someone who is 13 or 14. She is not only going through her own issues, but she is going through the emotions of an early teen. It is hard on her.

And thank you Karen :)
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