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I dont know what to do anymore

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Posted 8/29/2017 4:12 AM (GMT -5)
Im a 19 year old girl and I am completely done with life, im not happy and don't think I'll ever be. I have only 1 friend and she barely talks to me. My boyfriend doesn't care about me bc if I cry or tell him how depressed I am he doesn't say anything at all or just leaves me alone. I don't like living at home because my mother is a mean spirited woman, my older sister acts the same as my mom and brother I don't care for him at all. My dad has his own problems with his kids and wife so I don't wanna be a burden to him...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/29/2017 3:15:10 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/29/2017 4:22 AM (GMT -5)
What makes you think you will never be happy? You are young. You have your whole life. Just because you are sad right now, doesn't mean you will never be happy. I think you are at a hard age.

If you have one friend in life, you are lucky. Try to make the most out of the friend ship. Try to give a little. It goes both ways.

People like to be around happy people. Maybe your depression is depressing him (your boyfriend). People gravitate to happiness. Try to be happy.

Can you move out from home? You are nineteen. Many leave at 18. Do you have a job? Do you go to school? Maybe you could talk to your dad??? You need to talk to somebody. Do you go to therapy? I removed the last sentence in your post, as we can't talk about suicide here. I am sorry you feel that way though. Please see our resource page at the top of the forum. It has numbers for suicide prevention and other resources.

You need to seek out happiness. Look for things you enjoy and that make you smile. Don't be so hard on yourself. Talk to your friend. You would be surprised how people come around if you just let them know what is going on. Hang in there Ariel. Things do get better. You just need a little hope.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/29/2017 8:08 AM (GMT -5)
Hello Ariel, welcome to the forum.

So young to feel this way. When is the last time you had a 'complete' physical? Our hormones can wreak havoc on us. You have a boyfriend...are you using birth control? Some of those can make depression worse.

It sounds as though you are living in a very stressful environment. This can also have an effect on the hormone 'cortisol'.

I'd suggest a visit with the doctor. Tell him/her how you feel, what life is like for you, your family issues, etc. Get the blood work done and see where you are healthwise.

Meditation seems to help a lot of people and there are plenty of sources online to get you started.

I hope things improve for you. Life can be wonderful, you can get better.
Posted 8/29/2017 12:53 PM (GMT -5)
Just want you to know you are not alone. I'm walking right there with you. We can take one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Sending a hug.
Posted 8/29/2017 1:25 PM (GMT -5)
Ariel-- Welcome. I would echo much of what was written below. See a doctor--share your concerns. It's important. I would also say,at your age, it is natural to feel dissatisfied/unhappy with life with your parents, especially when you are living with them still in the position of a child. This kind of emotional discomfort usually propels the young adult to make choices that take them away from the family unit (at least in the Western culture.) It might be part of the concerns you have--the need to start life as an adult.

Be well.
Posted 8/29/2017 3:39 PM (GMT -5)
I have no job but I am searching, my dad has 5 kids already living with him and I don't wanna burden him and my step-mom and yes I am seeing a therapist
Posted 8/30/2017 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
Ariel - I am glad you have a therapist to talk to. Your Dad sounds like a nice man who would miss you VERY MUCH so rather than thinking you are a burden, just reach out from time to time. Surely, he will have a word of encouragement for you as the others in your life do not. Try very hard to not see yourself as a "burden." You are worthy of fighting for yourself. It's a hard fight but fight you must because your life is only beginning. Don't imagine that you will never feel different. Imagine instead that you WILL get better. Imagine yourself feeling and doing better. Do anything that you enjoy and as often as you can. Do you also see a Psychiatrist for medication? I think you need additional support at this time.
Posted 8/30/2017 3:30 AM (GMT -5)
I don't think you would be a burden Ariel. I think it would hurt your dad if you didn't come to him to talk and then something happened. You aren't a burden at all. You just need to talk to somebody.

Hang in there sweetie...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 8/30/2017 9:31 AM (GMT -5)
Are you sure this is a depression and not just specificities of your age? Maybe you are afraid of your future and that makes you feel lost? Sorry, if I'm wrong. Try to talk to your father, I think he"ll understand. And think, do you really need such a boyfriend who doesn't even care about you? Especially when you need so much support.
Posted 8/30/2017 2:50 PM (GMT -5)
Welcome to the forum.

Ask your therapist about coping skills.

Journaling.

Peace
Trina
Posted 9/3/2017 2:10 PM (GMT -5)
Hi girl,

You are never a burden to your parent, yes it will hurt him if you don't come to him.. I'm happy you have a therapist, maybe job seeking depresses you but you will be fine we all went through that and came out stronger and happier, can you in the meantime get a volunteer job like in the hospital or school etc just to avoid being alone or feeling alone , get out of the house a bit.
you still very young as for a boyfriend if i were u i would stop seeing him until im ready, reach out to your friend let her know how you feel..maybe shes got problems as well , you will be surprised what people go through in this life,
Keep on Praying my dear God will answer in his time not ours.

sending lots of hugs, high fives and kisses
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