Homesick

I think I recall you posting about making this move, and it seems that some of us were telling you not to. But you did. I too think that you will learn to take care of yourself. It takes work. You have to commit yourself to it. I think once your friend gets there, you will find a place together. But you did say they were an aquaintance. I take it you don't know eachother very well. I am wondering why you are making these choices. Is it because you want to be near your ex boyfriend? Be careful. Still not saying this wont work, just be careful.

Keep us posted on how things are going. Know that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen...

PS Do you have a job? How are you supporting yourself?

hi.

sorry for bringing this post back to the front page. i'm always weak on sundays. :(

i'm still homesick.

my roommate claire* and i found an apartment today. we put down some money, and barring any unforeseen tragedy, will begin renting it on the 28th. i should be happy. it should be a huge load off, right? i don't have a job yet, but i have several leads and a couple interviews set up for this coming week. i'm just not happy.

we're living temporarily in a house with two guys who know each other from college. it's basically a frat house. i didn't really mind until the other night when they had a big party. some of my food in the fridge was missing the next morning. their overnight guests made a huge racket early saturday morning. i found my bath towel wet and crumpled on the bathroom floor. i don't feel comfortable leaving my belongings in the space i'm living in. that's not good. but whatever. my problem is that claire* doesn't party all that much, but has made friends with these guys and pretended like she's OK with their rude/insensitive/invasive/immature behavior. she looks like the cool, laid-back chick while i look like a raging psycho because i got angry about the situation.

claire* and i got in a fight before we found this apartment. she started crying and said that if i didn't want to be her roommate, i should just tell her. i was so hurt. all i want is to have friends, and to be happy. she's only been here for two weeks and already she has the impression that i don't like her and don't want her to be her roommate.

i'm taking my viibryd, but i'm also taking birth control which i'm scared is making me crazy. pretty soon i won't be on my parents insurance anymore and won't be able to afford drugs, so i guess it doesn't really matter anyway, but i'm just... so lost. i want to be happy, and i feel like i'm only getting in my own way.