Hello all, I have been reading others posts on here to try and educate myself and to get some encouragement during my own struggles to be there for my depressed girlfriend. We have been together 9 months, with total happiness until after the first few months, she started acting totally weird and cold, indifferent, and distant. She said it wasn't about
me and that she had her own demons/issues to work through, and that she has had clinical depression for years.
I gave her some space to do that, letting her know I was there when she needed me. When we finally hung out she told me that she thought she may have started having problems because she wasn't used to someone being so good to her, and that I was too affectionate (she was always the super affectionate one) and basically made it about
me. I had talked to her friend about
it and she told me that she has always ran hot and cold, had ups and downs, and that this was kind of the way she was. I told my gf that i loved her no matter what, even with the illness, but that she should look into getting help. She got past that hurdle and was back to being herself again, loving, affectionate, we would talk every day (this has been kinda a long distant relationship, about
an hour and a half away from each other) and we made plans to start looking at places together in October. Then out of nowhere, it started again. Short answers to texts, barely talking on the phone, etc. I knew the lows were back and It threw me for a loop. We went on a trip with my family that didnt go so well (family drama) but her and I had a great time together and let them all argue with each other. She was herself and sweet the whole trip. suddenly, she was back again, being herself. last weekend, we went on a camping trip with friends, and the illness reared its ugly head again. She was sad, mad, and every emotion you could come up with. Didnt wanna camp by people, didnt wanna really hang out with anyone, and was putting me down quite a bit.
Her talking down to me has been a recent thing, she seems to take out her anger on me and has a short fuse when she is in her rut. Mostly she is just very cold and distant. so after the trip I didnt bring anything up, I let her be for a few days, and then text her to make general conversation. I then led into how I could tell she hasnt been herself, that she put the brunt of the coldness and being distant onto me, and I couldnt understand why, but that I still thought she needed to get help, that she was trying to fight this all on her own and it wasnt working. She then replied that she didnt know what was going on with her, but that she felt she needed space from people, because she had a short fuse lately, and the last thing she wanted to do was make people mad. I told her it wasnt making anyone mad, just hurting and concerning. I told her that I would understand if she was mad at me for saying this, and if she didnt wanna see me for a while, that was okay. that I loved her, and was here for her. She then said she just needed breathing room. Basically Im so crushed. I feel like I'm losing the person I fell in love with, and everything we had is just fading away. Did I do the right thing by saying something? Am I doing the right thing by respecting her wishes and giving her space? What do I do next?
Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 9/11/2014 9:36:40 AM (GMT-6)