I'd love to understand what's going on in my head.

Welcome to the forum.

Yes, I have been and most likely will be again in the place where you are.

We can not talk in detail about this do to the forum rules. However, I understand the emotions pain sitting in your chest and stomach. The release that you want to feel.

I can tell you, your dark thoughts will pass. They always do. What is making you hurt is most likely the past or a present situation triggering old feelings. They are just that feelings. They can not hurt you.

Yes, it feels hopeless, never ending that is what darkness wants you to think. YOU are smarter than that or your would not have reached out here. Each time you ride the roller coaster through the tunnel you get stronger and the 'tunnel' period gets shorter.


You are in control of what you do, you can get back in control of your emotions.

I suggest you follow your therapist advice.

I am on medication, plus I use coping skills to calm me down, such as DBT, journaling Art, any kind, drawing in my journal, crayons, paints, whatever, don't have to be artist to dump your feelings on paper, just get it out.

Mindfulness is another skill I use besides DBT.

At the top of this forum is a 'resources thread' Please review it, write sum numbers down or put them in your phone, look at some of the DBT skill sights to get an idea so you can ask your therapist about it.

Keep posting, it will help you. We are here for you. We listen and support the best we can. If it get to tough call one of the emergency numbers and talk to someone. There is always a person willing to you down til you are safe.

Peace and strength
Trina

it does pass. distractions really help. as do speaking directly with the relevant help lines. this is from personal experience. need not to mention any more. many healing thoughts. check with your local mental health team, as they can offer support and advocacy as well.

ccbrunk, welcome! Have you ever watched the movie "A Beautiful Mind"? From it I learned that the thoughts may be there, but I don't have to interact with them. Feelings are not fact. I look at the facts today. I believe I deserve to be alive, that I am still useful, that there is a reason I am here. Perhaps it is to respond to others like myself. Medication and talking with a therapist helped me through my darkest time and helped me see things less distorted. I learned techniques to use for the long haul. I hope you find the same result.

Hi Mike,

So glad that you are feeling a bit better. Yes, too much thinking can cause us trouble. Try to keep mind busy...

I hope you get to see a psychiatrist as you would like to. They know so much about depression. I see one and it really helps...

Hugs, Karen...