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Posted 3/27/2012 12:54 AM (GMT -5)
Have not been here for awhile due to job and other things but i am trying to catch up on the messages.

My good news is if everything goes well, in November I will become a first time Grandma. My only dtr is having a baby after trying for awhile. We are so excited but i have some worries.

Will Fibro get in the way of enjoying my grandchild? I am terrified of dropping a baby. What if my arms or legs gave out? What if when they get older, I can't do things with them. I want to be a cool grandma. I know they will be spoiled rotten (they will live next door) but the what ifs are driving me crazy.

Any grandmothers or moms here that can give me advice on living with fibro and young kids? My dtr is 26 and since she has no siblings or cousins it has been a long time since i spent time with kids. Now with the way i feel at times.....HELP

 

Posted 3/27/2012 1:11 AM (GMT -5)
I am 48 and I have thought about this issue already. I hope my kids have no plans for grandma anytime soon. Lol I have got real good about letting people know about how fibro works. I am accepting my limitations more each day. Educate your family as much as possible. The hard part is for you not to feel guilty because the grand kid cant spend the night or etc. I would think it would take some practice saying NO. I know I had to learn the word NO with my church ministries.
Posted 3/27/2012 7:32 AM (GMT -5)
I am a mother of a very active 2 and 6 year old. You will be a wonderful grandmother. As for your concerns about dropping the baby, I would not worry in the least. We all know when it comes down to our children/grandchildren there's a way to put the pain aside and take care of their needs first. Don't let this pesky disease ruin what will be a wonderful experience for you. The key to taking care of yourself as well as little ones is to set limits for yourself, for me that may mean taking my son outside to play but not bothering to pick up the house that day. Congratulations and best of luck
Posted 3/27/2012 8:13 AM (GMT -5)
Diva

 Im 48 and a grandmother of going on 13 grandkids

Kids  are so great they learn easily how to be with us,

My grandkids when I was on treatment for hepc,

Would play in bed because I couldnt get out of bed, and watch movies,

Kids do learn how to be with us, They really are flexable

And they are such a joy that brings joy

My daughter lives 3 houses away  going on 3rd baby

But when I dont feel good she knows and its all ok.

And the kids pick up on how we are to and are willing to just sit and watch a movie with me

We enjoy the good days with them

And that makes us a cool grandma because of the love we give

 We just share our time with them differently.

And  there sweet little spirits except what we can and cannot do

I guess that is why God uses children in the scriptures

be as a little child they are so excepting

Hope you have a great day

always Renee

 

Posted 3/27/2012 11:01 AM (GMT -5)
Thanks! It helps reading what you have said. I am a worrier by nature so i can not help but worry. I have a wonderful husband to take up any slack but my dtr is one of those that think I should just shrug bad days off and keep going. Hoping that will not rub off on a grandchild. We are over the moon about becoming grandparents. I want to be there when needed but realize that may not always be possible. I hate feeling bad!!!!
Posted 3/27/2012 11:05 AM (GMT -5)
Hi, good to see you again! I've been wondering how you were doing. Congrats on the upcoming grandchild...I can't wait, myself, but it's not in the cards for me anytime soon.

Having had 3 young kids while dealing with fibro, I have to say that it does impact what you can do, no question, but not how much love they get from you. They can feel it.

I've often lamented the fact that I didn't get to the park much with my youngest, because when she was little was when I was at my worst. I couldn't even pick her up when she got to the walking stage, which broke my heart! I'd sit down and let her climb onto my lap. Or, if she was on a changing table, (my waist-level) I could pick her up, hold her right against my chest, and then quickly sit back down. Mom's back ruled the house, I'm afraid.

She always tells me I'm crazy, she had a great childhood, she knew how much I loved her, etc. Last time she said this, she brought tears to my eyes.
I believe she means it, but sometimes I still get very emotional.

Debbie
Posted 3/27/2012 11:05 AM (GMT -5)
Congratulations! My grandson's live overseas. When they were first born, I went over to help out. I tired easily, but it was fantastic! You will know if you need to skip doing something, but for the most part, like posted above, if there is a need, you would attempt to swim the ocean to see their needs are met.
Posted 3/27/2012 4:29 PM (GMT -5)
Congratulations.

I am a mom and a step-grandmother. As Fibrogrannies we have to do things a little differently, but they are definitely doable.

My daughter was 2 when i was diagnosed so she has only known me with limitations, but get creative. Children are supremely adaptable. My granddaughter does not care what we do as long as we are doing it together. Her other grandma is the one who takes her to chucky cheese, but I am the one who taught her to make barbie clothes, daisy chains, and colors with her. The funny thing is she would rather come to my house LOL

T
Posted 3/27/2012 8:10 PM (GMT -5)
I'm nana to 2 boys, 6 & 4. The older one has some special needs, the younger is ADD. They lived next door when they were much younger, the fibro never stopped anybody.

But now that they have moved, and are a bit older, and much noiser, my noise sensitivity has reared an ugly head. I simply can't stand their racket. I really have to control myself, not yell at them. For the most part, its just normal play, but they can be SO loud. It makes me so sad, I wanted to be the cookie making nana, but I feel like the screaming one instead.

OP, you will know if you are having a bad day, arms weak, on those days, ask for help. You can do it. Grandpas are some times left out, get him involved too.
Posted 3/28/2012 7:17 AM (GMT -5)
Congratulations on the coming baby! I second a lot of what the others had to say. Your fibro will only limit you as much as you let it, meaning that even if you can't do some things there are definitely alternatives if you think creatively. I'm not a grandma but I do have 9 and 11 year old boys and a very young niece and nephew. I can't run and play with them like I wish I could. Sometimes the little things will seem daunting. For the first week after my niece was born my arms hurt too much to hold her longer than a few minutes, and she only weighed 7 1/2 lbs. But you adapt (like sitting sideways on a couch with my legs bent and propping my niece up on my thighs so I could look at her) and you move on. Sometimes I wonder what shape I'll be in when/if grandkids come around, but I figure that if I can do it now with the little ones in my life then I can figure it out later with grandkids also.
Posted 3/28/2012 10:56 AM (GMT -5)
As usual,everyone here is so encouraging and (the best part) understands my concerns. Thanks so much. Today is not a good day for me, so it really hits home today that I will have to be creative in the way I do things. The other grandparents will be the weekday babysitters since dh and i work and they do not. It sounds selfish, but I want to be the favorite grandma. And yes, every grandchild has a favorite. Living next door will help and since I spoil my dogs like crazy, everyone knows i will spoil my grandchild. I am a big reader so I am hoping that will be one of the things that we can share. Thanks again all. will be back on here more keeping in touch with everyone. You guys are the greatest.
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