Those non-fibromite "I've had that, too" comments

I'm learning alot, I can't believe all these years n I never thought to point out someone's short term injury or pain to relate to our every day pain. I'm also looking forward to saying OFTEN to myself "lesson learned" I like that n pray I get it.

I got so frustrated with all the questions about why I can't do certain things or go to certain events that now, unless they're someone who I know understands (i.e. only 4 people I know: one has FMS, one has CFS, one has CFS and FMS, and one is my best friend), I just say "I'm sick." It's not really lying. Does the word "sick" have to mean "contagious", anyway? At least people are understanding if I'm "sick".

But they do tend to wonder why I'm "sick" so much and they give me advice on building up my immune system, such as, "You should eat more garlic, dear." Grr! And don't call me "dear"! But it's better than what I used to get when I was upfront about my condition, "You just have to think positive and pull out of it. Everyone gets depressed sometimes. But most of us just learn to pull out of it." NOT ONLY IS THIS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE AND PATRONISING TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE DEPRESSION, BUT FIBROMYALGIA IS NOT DEPRESSION, although it can certainly make one feel a bit down when they can't do anything meaningful because of their FMS!!!

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Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, IBS, etc.

Jasmine Grace:  Yes, the patronizing 'pat on the head'  "Here....let me give you advice to feel better" advice from non-fibromites makes me grit my teeth a bit!  I could list a good number of things that have been said to me along those lines, but that's a whole new topic (would be interesting to compare, though, wouldn't it?). 

 And on that subject, that's why I feel I've been kind of kicked out of siblings' conversations the past few years, and it seems we don't have as much in common.  Honestly, I'm sometimes treated as if I were five years old, and the disrespect level has gone off the map, so I've had to back off somewhat in those relationships.  Sad, but not much to do about it, since my opinions, comments, etc. are all but ignored. They live in a different world than me!

But I'm so thankful for this forum and all the understanding.  We know what we're dealing with, and it isn't easy!  Wouldn't it be great if all the non-fibromites would collectively "get it" and understand?  But I'm sure I'm dreaming....

 

Miss Lynn, you really are going through a lot! It's easy to just shut down when it gets to be too much. But you've made some steps, and when you've had a breather, I'm sure you'll jump back in. I like your "Lalalala"!

Jasmine, I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't stand being called "dear"! ;) I once actually said to a salesman who was trying to sell me a shower bench for my dad, "Dear? Wow, how old do I look?" Then I felt bad, because he looked very taken aback. But unless it's coming from someone who honestly knows and cares about you, and you need soothing, it just sounds SO patronizing (I think.)

Debbie

Jasmine what u write is so true, I like your line " lazy, and lying, or" etc... n starting with "dear" oh my!! That's what everyone does seem to think! I've thought so many times if I could just get away or disappear I would be sooo much better, less stress can ONLY help my, or anyone's, illness' n depression. Now I see from u it could be true? But I really can't move or even efford to get away. Im married, have a couple cats n I watch a couple grandchildren twice a week. I guess your much younger n I pray u don't get any worse! For me it did keep getting worse but I believe it's from the stress (which makes my depression worse) of people not understanding n not stopping with those crazy, ignorant comments. When I was first properly, maybe 8 years ago, diagnosed my immuologist said my depression was secondary to the FM. I had been seeing n neurologist for maybe 20 years n she had told me about 8-10 years before that I very well could have it when I asked, so I've had it a long time n reading articles there's a good chance I've had it since maybe 12 when I noticed I couldn't do things like other kids without stupid pains n aches. I also don't tell any new people!! Learned that the hard way way but then I never have told anyone until I am confronted by someone who wanted to no why "I'm sick" all the time. It's funny I was told by a Dr long time ago, before we had any computers to look up n read about "leaky gut" cause he said I have it n it turns into FM, could that be true? It's funny that I forgot all about that.
Anyway I hope you feel better n stay better n keep trying to avoid stress n try to look for joy in every thing possible. Joy helps!!
Debbie, thank you for your kind, understanding words, I do hope to get back into a routine of checking in with drs.. I've even been putting off my pain specialist now for more than a month but I'm almost totally out of everything so I'll have to start with her. (I don't do that 30 day thing), I take medication very sparingly, last appt was in Jan..
Infact her office called me couple weeks ago n said she now does IV vitamins! Claims to be a great help for exhaustion n aches! I WAS WONDERING IF ANYONE HAS TRIED THIS? It does sound good but the first thing I asked was how long does it take? After 2 days of babysitting n keeping my house perfect I'm pretty much wiped out. The girl reluctantly said at least n hour maybe 2, I said 1 hour maybe n that I would look into it. That, if I can get showered, put together n out of the house, seems manageable if it will help?