I went to the Dr 2 weeks ago, urgent care, and he said he thinks I have fibromyalgia. I'm going to a primary doctor in 3 days in the hopes of finding out. I'm 27, and I've been in near constant pain since I was 20. I remember the first time it started I was hiking. I was 19. I had too much weight on my back, I think, and my hips twinged. Almost like I ripped the muscles and poured acid on them. At 20, though, things went downhill so fast. I was active. I was fit. I lifted weights, biked, hiked, jogged, walked. I was in college. I loved snowshoeing. And slowly over time, I lost the ability to do it all. I can't lift weights because it causes crippling depression and severe pain. Doing too much of any physical exercise can put me under so fast my head spins. And when the pain starts, it's there for weeks.
Mostly it's my hips that are affected. Probably because I'm used to the pain elsewhere. I've been diagnosed with sleep paralysis, tmj, adhd, pmdd, bursitis, depression, tension migraines...on and on. Until now, I've never had insurance. I walk with a cane, a lot, but some days that makes it worse. My hips burn, or they ache. My back hurts like I have a metal rod slammed between my vertebrae and I'm still trying to bend. My bones ache. They feel fatigued. So does my muscles. My skin gets so sensitive I want to strip naked and sleep in a zero gravity room where nothing, not even a slight breeze, can touch me. Sometimes my whole body, mind and soul feels completely burned out, and there isn't a thing attached to me that doesn't ache or hurt in some way.
I've quite every single job I've had besides my currebt because of it. I feel like I'm mentally 80. In the last couple of years, I've begun showing signs of dyslexia around the time of my flares. And my memory is terrible, along with my concentration and focus. I can't handle stress in the slightest. The cold that I used to love so much just increases my burn out feeling, depression, and pain. Humidity is something I avoid as much as possible. Lately, even lifting 50 lbs of sugar and moving 2 feet with it (something that's mandatory for my job) is a struggle. I'm just slowly winding down from a flare now, and I'm so tense that I feel like a tripwire. I can't relax, either, because I've been tensed for so long in my life that relaxing causes a horrible flare up (well, more like the tension in my life hits me ten times harder).
My anxiety is ridiculous. I'm a worry wort where I was at one time a daredevil. I just feel so very, very old. And I've hurt so much so long that it's hard sometimes to handle the pain, so I feel like a whiner. I tracked my pain this last month through the flare and I stayed at an average of a 6. I can't remember a time since 20 I wasn't at least a 3. Is it normal to feel like this if you have fibromyalgia? I don't want he diagnosis, but part of me is hoping for it just so I know I'm not crazy, or simply weak, or subconsciously attention seeking.
~ I gave your posts some paragraphs because many of us have trouble reading one very long paragraph - Debbie
Post Edited By Moderator (Acheybody) : 10/11/2013 4:00:56 PM (GMT-6)