When you're expected to "be there" (warning: mini vent)

Our city is having an event for low-income individuals next month. I think it's a great idea!  They asked for help, including donating food items.  I emailed one of the chair persons and said I could donate some groceries. 

 If my health were more stable, I would offer to help physically.  I've been 'bitten' too many times, though, in the past when I said I would help with something, then either got a fibro flare or another health issue came up, and I had to bow out (and I hate to have to bow out!). I just can't count on my health these days.

Well, the chair lady mentioned knows well that I don't volunteer physically any more.  Yet, over the years she continues to phone  or email me and asks me to help out (physically) when something comes up.  She did say once that it's so hard to get others to help out, and I surely sympathize with that.  But---how many times do I have to remind her that I no longer 'actively' volunteer?  Instead, I do things like bake bars, donate to collections, chair church donations, etc., and right now that's all I can do.

So--she once again emailed me and said there is a meeting coming up about this event, told me the time and place, and she obviously expects me to be there(!)  Good grief--all I'm doing is donating food items.  There's no need to attend a meeting for that.  I already know where the food will go and the date, so why would I attend a meeting?

This is no biggie, but I'm just doing a bit of a slow burn.  It's another example of non-fibromites not really understanding where we're coming from.  I really wish I could count on my health and do more, but I can't. Why do some people not seem to understand that?  

 SIGH.

(ETA:  Yes, I did explain to this lady (quite a few times over recent years) why I can't physically volunteer any more.  In one ear and out the other??). 

Most people are pretty good about it (at least to my face.)  They don't fully get it, but at least they won't question what I say.

But there's this one woman at church who just has this air of judgement about her...she's always telling me things like, "well, you know what they say - use it or lose it,"   never absorbing (after knowing me for decades) the fact that lack of activity is NOT my problem!  She's involved in everything up to her eyeballs...well, bully for her!  We can't all do that.

I send cards on behalf of all the church members (birthday, sympathy, get well), do visits, and sing in the choir.  That's plenty for me.  Sometimes I'll take food to someone, but it's usually bought...when you can only carry about 1 & 1/2 pounds, it really limits what you can do, all the way around...

I keep thinking: someday we'll be validated...we won't be seen as lazy or unmotivated...someday...

Debbie

 Hi Luvz,

 I volunteered at my Church for 15 yrs. I taught a CCD class of Communion Prep students. We met each wk & had extra classes as compared to the reg classes. I missed 2 classes in 15 yrs due to my illnesses. I loved it immensely. They knew each yr I would be back for the next yr - until my last yr. I pushed thru so hard, I still don't know how I did it. But I gave my word, so I was there.

 When I told the super at the end of the yr that I wouldn't be returning, she was upset (not AT me). She tried to set up whatever I needed to be able to continue. I knew I was done, on soooo many levels.

 I still miss it at times, but I know I could never go back and keep that schedule.

 The new lady who runs the program has seen me at the Church when I'm able (the pews are killer) and will send me an email each time about returning. I know I was a very good teacher, and I'm glad that is their view of me, too, BUT I've already said I just can't do it anymore.

 Between my DH's health issues & drs and my own, I can't make a commitment like that.

 You wonder sometimes, Why do they get the idea you are up for 'Whatever', just bc you're upright & breathing?

 Your 'job' right now is to take care of you!!!! And you can tell her I said so. lol

 God bless.  Alice.