no life anymore

I was a very active person but this year has been so horrible I don't do anything but work and go home. I would walk 3 miles every morning, work 11 hours a day and go dancing on the weekend. I now know I have had this for years, looking back, but symptoms put me down for much less time. I had thought I was sick all of the time. Because all of the disks but one in my back are bad and had major back surgery 7 years ago doctors always said that was what was wrong with me. To top it off I am bi-polar and doctors would tell me it was in my head. I have finally found a wonderful doctor that practices eastern medicine as well and a wonderful acupuncturist but it doesn't take the depression away. Sorry for word vomit but feeling hopeless today. I have never been to a forum before but doc suggested it. I know I'm not the only one like this but I feel alone. People don't understand and I don't want to constantly complain because it push them away.
Has anyone else gone quickly from being so so to really crappy continuously?

I take magnesium, 120 mg cymbalta, Tylenol, ibu, and xanax for this. Other meds for bi-polar.

Also want to say I have built a career in administration in law enforcement and don't want to lose my job.

Helpful thoughts please :)

Hi Maidenivy,
Sorry you are feeling so crappy your story seems very similar to mine so I felt I should respond. I too am feeling hopeless today, depression will do that. My sister suffers from bi-polar disorder and mental issues run in the family. Brother died with paranoid schizophrenia. I feel for your situation.

I too am a very high energy person, I love people and pour every part of me into whatever I am doing. Including working and partying hard. I tore a disc in my back, and my health seemed to go downhill from there. Really thought I would end my life initially when Dx with Fibro. Depression, back and neck issues, then Fibro on top of that was too much to handle. Hubby and I were in a stressful time in our relationship also.

The pain we experience is very real and the emotional, mental pain can take its toll. After spending two years in bed every other day. Pain pills not helping, taking other people's prescription hydrocodone. I have recently gone on illumination diet. No sugar,no white flour, no unprocessed anything! Yes, it is a horrific struggle. I'm surrounded by muggings I can't eat. I also have severe inflammation and burning skin. Two weeks I have been on it. I am doing yoga 3x week. I also started working two days, because we were close these past 3 years to losing our home.

I've lost inches and weight which is good, I still crawl in bed after all my workouts. The two days a week at work are ok though. I am able to do light work. The schedule to do those two days of light work are grueling, however.

My husband has been urging me to work along with homeschooling our two kids. I have refused to work, until now. These two weeks have given me hope. The less junk I am eating, the better I feel. The problem is the juggle and the horrible setbacks. For me diet,exercise,sleep all play a major role and keeping it all in balance is a real issue!!! This weekend we were running, like we usually do on the weekend, and I'm back in bed. Am I deluding myself that I can keep this work/yoga schedule and live with this pain? I feel like my norm is not worth the effort I'm expending.

I want you to know you are not alone in your struggle! Giving up is not an option, but day's like these make it appealing. My sister has found medicine to help her, but then her face swells up badly from something she is taking. I have stopped all meds, except ibuprofen, been there done that. Sometimes we need meds for a little while. I now do yoga and drink lots of water. The yoga does loosen the muscles and keep them loose. I hate complaining but if you are going to do it, here is the best place.

I hope that my story and others here on the blog can help. I sign in every night lately. It helps to know others have similar stories. Just posting this has brought some relief. Please let us know how you are doing in your fight to feel better. It is one big trial and error process so hang in there. I am hopeful you will find a better norm


Fibro, depression, spine issues

I like to say that discovering user-friendly management takes a good year for most people. Even then, sometimes you have to change or add something else in order to have a 'normal'(ish) life. The awful thing is that learning what works for each person individually takes a lot of time, trial, and error.

The four lifestyle helpers are clean eating, lack of stress, exercise, and good sleep schedule. For many, one or more of these are difficult for varied reasons. Things are never perfect, of course, but there is a lot to be said for finding a decent balance in lifestyle. I am an exercise believer. I don't do as much as I used to, in recent months, due to reduced financial circumstances. As soon as I can, though, I am headed back to the gym.

Fibro changes; there is no constant to the condition. Some days are good, and others are awful, sometimes for no discernible reason. One thing I notice is that I feel worse when another condition is flaring, but that doesn't mean that my fibro is getting worse. Better control of one condition will positively affect the other. When my crohns was flaring for over a year until I got it under control, my pain, energy, sleep, and fog were far worse.

Might I suggest water aerobics/aqua walking as a first branch out into exercise? It is extremely low impact and a heated pool can help with aches. T'ai Chi will help some, but the water helps to hold your body, so the stretching is more beneficial.

Many people with fibro work and can maintain their high-stress jobs. Others cannot, and there is no real way to know in advance. I worked in a high pressure and extremely mentally taxing situation until 15 months ago, and now am searching for work. I would add that the job was not really the issue so much as the administration, combined with my health. I was successful in my field for a decade before having to leave.

One thing I have come to believe is that we all, normal as well as people with chronic conditions, must find a balance in our lives. Some choose work, others believe in family, and still others try to do everything, which just isn't possible. With that balance comes a sort of maturing into what it takes to have a good life. Sometimes we have to make choices that are less than we might want, and that is okay, too.

Maidenivy,
You will get through this and find a way to cope. For now, put your energy into your job and do what you can to maintain your position…don't talk to a lot of people there about your health, it is better to talk to only trusted and few friends. Change your expectations for yourself outside of work for now as you seek things that will help you cope. Your new normal will appear out of the clouds slowly but surely.
We are here to cheer you on.
HEART

Yes, this forum has some wonderful people. You are not alone. Brightest blessings to you as well…what a beautiful thing to say. I can feel the warmth that comes from those two words!
Namaste; I bow to you.
HEART

Hi everyone.
Thanks to you all I made it through a very dark day. I want to let you know that I signed up for beginners Tia chi. the instructor deals with chronic pain and charges less for those who do have chronic pain. I have also begun to remove sugar from my diet. Baby steps but it's a start. My heart and mind are a little less heavy from one day with you all responding. I hope someday I can be there for someone the way you have for me.
feeling grateful.

maidenivy
Wanted to say hello & welcome to forum. You've received some great advice here as you will come to almost always find.

I hope that the Tai Chi & "new" eating habits work well for you and give you some relief.

Best of luck to you on the newest journey's you are taking to help control the daily life of fibro.

Brenda