How do you handle having children when you have fibro? Have you decided against having children?

There are two types of childless folks. One is an early-declarer, and the other is decider.

I have always been an early-declarer, so it wasn't as issue for me.

My older sister was a decider. She wanted children, and would have made a great mom. But after diagnosis, she found her life far more constrained. She no longer worked (she was a professor), and her husband had well=paying work. She, instead, became involved with various groups who worked for messages and causes she believed in, and this instead became her life.

She borrowed the kids of friends for fun. She became a baby sitter with peer, and managed to give a lot of causes her time because she had plenty to give. She was a doggie mother. They traveled, explored, and made a home, until she died a few years ago of the ugly kind of leukemia.

The genetic link has not been established, and might never be. I think it is genetic in our case, but not for all, since there seems to be various causes.

The point I make is that being childless is not the end of the world. It's a choice in our society. You can give to your community, church, friends that love and time. Many people will argue that having a child helps them feel better rather than worse, that the nourishing gives them strength.

Just food for thought.

My mom and older sister had fibro and myself.. I had it as long as i can remember but it got worse in my 30's...

I have two daughters...one has fibro and the other does not..

I hate that she has fibro as i do.. But she is incredible, a gift to her family and friends..she is happily married and they are travelers..

I wouod not have chosen to not have kids over this disease...but def wish she did not have it

One wish

I found out I had fibro when my kids were 2 and 3. Make note they were only 11 months apart so it was almost like having twins!! At first I was devastated. But I had difficulty with both of my pregnancies, both of them were preemies. Like then I just decided it wasn't the end of the world and through the grace of God I would get through it. And I did with lots of help!!

I wouldn't change a thing about everything I went through to have them or just having them in general!! Now on days when I just don't think I can move an inch, I do, so that I can be there for them. On the days when I can't make it to the kitchen for my morning meds they get them for me.

Both of them are healthy right now, they're 15 and 16 and I hope everyday they stay that way. There are several autoimmune diseases that run in mine and my ex husbands families including lupus. I knew that before I had both of them but ya know it never even crossed my mind when my x and I were talking about having kids. I guess to some that may sound selfish.

I get through everyday trusting in my faith and knowing that whatever He puts in front of me, or my children, we will get through it together with His help.

Hi, OneWish. I've been slow in greeting you...glad you've found your way here. You're obviously approaching this dastardly syndrome head-on, and that's great!

When I had my 3 kids, I'd never even heard of Fibro....the diagnosis came when my youngest was 3 or 4. Each pregnancy made me feel worse than the one before (although they were perfectly normal, from a medical point of view.)

My younger daughter, who's 25, has worried me for years as far as Fibro goes, since she gets unexplained pains and fatigue now and then, and has some other issues. I try not to let her know this, of course, but I did let it slip that Fibro can be hereditary....me and my big mouth :( It doesn't seem to be fazing her, though. She's doing great.

This is a hard one. I can see why you'd be hesitant, but I wouldn't say no, you absolutely should not have children because they might develop Fibro. It's not the worst thing in the world to be saddled with - I sure wouldn't want to have not been born, in spite of the pain and all the rest of it!

A big factor would be what kind of support system you have, because having and raising kids takes SO much energy, and unless you're very lucky, you are not going to be unable to function like someone without Fibro. I had a husband who was very devoted to his kids (though he took years to "get" Fibro, and still rarely offers to help me without my asking) and parents close by who were always glad to help when I needed them. They were able to do way more physically than I was, which galled me, but boy, it would have been so much harder without them.

Debbie

I didn't have a chioce. My fibro came as soon as my last child was born. I have managed just fine. It's been hard, and very hard at times, but my husband is very supportive and I somehow manage. I have been doing quite a bit better over the past year, thank goodness, but it's still day by day. I would not trade it for the world. I love being a mom, and even though I have what I do, I would never not have wanted to be born. So, even with the pain, life is still so worth living! Prayer gets me through a lot.