As the Fibro Burns...Part 1

Some of our long term members must remember our member named Vestabula. She added a lot of fun to the forum and wrote some things that I copied and saved on my computer. One is a “soap opera” series called “As the Fibro Burns”. There are 19 parts and I will post one part each Monday for everyone to enjoy. We all need a good laugh and this will provide it

Vestabula and I are in contact so I wrote and asked her permission to repost these and she kindly said yes. I’m hoping maybe this could spur her on to come back and give us more laughs whenever she feels good. I love here to pieces. 😇

Now...drum roll please...part one of As the Fibro Burns.

Sherrine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Steede Toesnapper unlocks the door of his long time, on again of again, girlfriend Norah Fairchild with his own key. He steps into a dark room lit by one lone candle. In the shadows he sees her, pacing the floor in her 'as seen on t.v.' zebra snuggy and ear muffs. She has an apple fritter in one hand and a Moon Pie in the other. Immediately, he is over come by the heat and can feel beads of perspiration collecting in the fold of his manly many triceps.

Norah looks at him, and takes a huge bite out of the Moon Pie. 'What are you doing here? I thought you were at the toenail fungus convention in Omaha." she says.

He sashays towards her. "I am here because I have to tell you something very important. I think you better sit down."

The camera zooms so close to his face you can see his nose hair and the organ music blasts three or four irritating notes.

'I can't sit down. I'm having a back/thigh muscle spasm-thing going on and I must keep moving."

His eyes shift towards her favorite chair and he sees the mound of goose down comforters, her heating pad laid across the cushion and several bed buddies. On the table next to the chair is her monster jar of Icy Hot. He rolls his eyes. He just hates that Icy Hot.

"Okay then," he sighs. "Just move over towards the chair in case you faint."
She gimps towards the chair.

"Norah...your twins, Dakotah and Destiny are not yours. They are your sister Mysty's."

She spits a mouthful of the apple fritter on the floor. "What are you talking about...I gave birth to them...how could they not be mine? Oh No...you DID NOT implant me with HER eggs while I was sleeping did you?"

"No silly. I'm a podiatrist, for pete's sake. I'm sorry to say...(organ music) It's your Fibro."

"MY fibro?" she croaks. "But I remember being pregnant!"

"Sorry....no. It was a fibro hallucination."

"I know I was in the delivery room..."

"Fibro Fog," he says.

"They brought me my babies...I know I held them in my arms...."

"Too much Lyrica. How many times have I told you to be careful with your pills."

She plops on the chair. "Oh Steede, rub my feet would you? My toes are curling up into a claw."

"EWWW...I don't do feet on my days off," he says, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand.

"So...I don't have any twins...I just have fibro?"

"Yes...that would be correct. And I have something else to tell you..."
(Screaming annoying organ music again)

"You are your own grandmother. It's another fibro thing. There are only three cases of this phenomonem documented in the whole world. You know...there could be some money in this for you."

Norah stuffs the rest of her apple fritter in her mouth. She has already forgotten 90% of what he has just told her. The Stage fades to Black.

Tomorrow, on As the Fibro Burns, Steede will discover he is indeed the father of Mysty's twins. When Norah finds out she short circuits her heating pad, soaks it in water, and offers him a seat.

Sherrine,

I’m so glad you’re bringing this soap opera back. I remember waiting for the next installment of Donna’s story. Donna has the most enjoyable sense of humor! Hope she is doing well and comes back to visit ...... or stay.

I’m right there with you, love her to pieces!

Probably the only thing funny about Fibro is, ‘As the Fibro Burns’.

Donna, if you are reading this, you are missed and loved. Wishing you all the best!

God bless. Alice.

Oh, Donna, how good to hear from you!! I’m so sorry you are having so many issues with your eyes, my husband had the same issues. So hard to read regular print.

I always found your stories delightful, so funny. I will enjoy each new episode of your story again. I’m glad Sherrine was able to get in touch with you and get your ok.

I’ve always found you to be a lovely lady and I will always wish you the best. God bless you, dear friend.

Please stop by when you can.

Love, Alice.