I realized today....

I realized today that although my boss is sympathetic to my illness, he actually has no idea what I deal with on a daily basis. He sat me down today to talk about how he can help me to be successful at work since I miss so many days (I was out 7 in a row). He thinks that if I think positive I can beat it. While I am all for having a positive attitude, it won't make this go away. It will not make my vision clear again, it will not make my memory return, it won't make the burning in my muscles go away.

I then asked him what he thinks of my mental capabilities, as suggested by someone previously, and he said he thinks I would be ok if I went ahead tried to get the job I had posted about the other day. He told me I would just have to keep lists of everything. My current position does not stress me really, however, there is one co-worker who stresses me out to no end. So I think I have decided I might as well give it my all and try for the new position. If I cannot hack it, I can always resign. I think if I didn't try I would be kicking myself for it for a very long time!!

Good for you! I hope you do get the job, and that you can do it well. And, as you said, if it doesn't work out, you'll always know you did your best. That's all any of us can do, after all!

I'm glad your boss has faith in your abilities, even though he doesn't really understand all the ramifications of Fibro.

Debbie

Myself 09 said...
Boy, I am chatty tonight.
Once, my bf had the flu, and was flu-achey. I commiserated, and got him a heating pad and rubbed his shoulders. Then, I said, "Now you know what I feel like most days." He, quite seriously, said, "I was thinking about that, actually. That's awful." It was a moment of understanding I will never forget.

So bad of me, but I sort of love it when DH gets a little headache (he gets them when he hunts or fishes and doesn't drink enough water), he says it's a 2-3 on the pain scale and he's a big baby the whole time. He usually has that A-HA! moment too and every time I think it cements it more and more in his mind.

For me, I find that I only talk about my health with certain people who I know will not look down on me, but even then I know they couldn't really ever get it. I have a good friend who says she really admires me, because she knows about the various pain issues I have and yet I still stay pretty busy. At the same time, I know she doesn't REALLY get it, because she's told me that she knows other people who have chronic pain and she's a little critical (not directly to them) because they just sit around a lot and complain. I've tried to explain to her that 1) I push myself to remain active for quality of life reasons, 2) I have great faith in God, which makes a huge difference and 3) she's only known me for four years, and I am at about 30% of what I used to be able to do in a day.

I hope that you can get your work figured out so that you can lose some of the stress!