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the roller coaster ride

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Posted 11/5/2010 10:14 AM (GMT -5)
hello everyone, i hope you are all well an coping with your own problems as well as you can. My dad has now been transferred to the hospice,it is very nice place an calm an peacefull. We went  th him to the hospice following in the car behind the ambulance,the night before he went he was still in the hospital,an he was asleep most of the time,he was fidgeting with the blankets saying he hurt.he could only say one word an that was "milk.He turned away from us an just slept!!!!Now since been in the hospice we were told that he would not be given any more medication of any kind,an we could just let him go,an he would be soon in a coma.We went to visit this morning,an dad is sitting up his blood pressure has gone up,which is good,he is calmer an he is talking to us,i have to say a lot of it doesnt make sense,he seems to think someone is standing behind us an he needs to speak to them,an when we move an say "no dad no one is here!he insists they are ,an he will talk to them when we have gone!!!The roller coaster ride comes when first the staff tell us he may not last the weekend,an then they say he could be ok an built up a little,but he is extremely ill.Why cant they just tell us like it is,more for mums sake than my sister an me.Mum still thinks she can get him well,its all so heartbreaking seeing them together.holding hands an whispering to each other,at this point me an my sis make an exit to the canteen an leave them together. i will update later   spooky x
Posted 11/5/2010 1:16 PM (GMT -5)

Spooky, they don't say because they can't...not right now, anyway.  They are pretty good at being able to tell that a person is going to pass within 12-24 hours, but there may be days--or even weeks--prior to that time that he may seem to rally, especially since he's off medications which may have been toxic to him.  They will give him pain meds, though.  Watch the urine bag carefully (I assume he has a catheter.)  If the urine turns very dark, you will know the time is getting very close.  Also when he stops talking and refuses anything except a few sips of water or ice chips.  The hallucinations can also be a signal, especially if he sees family members who have passed.

I know this is a rough time for your family and I hope it will not drag on much longer.

Hugs,

Connie


Posted 11/5/2010 2:57 PM (GMT -5)
Spooky,

Thansitioning is hard. And sad. I was so relieved for your family that he has this alert time to spend with his family, even if the time is short. Without drama, peacefully. That you mother has a few moments to spend with him, holding his hand, whispering...it is a blessing.

More hugs,
Mama Lama
Posted 11/5/2010 5:13 PM (GMT -5)
jan-take care of yourself. spend as much time with your dad as you can. i am sorry that you and your family are going through this. God bless and be strong. i will pray for you and your family.

emma
Posted 11/6/2010 5:41 AM (GMT -5)
thankyou for your comments they keep me going take care spooky x
Posted 11/6/2010 8:36 AM (GMT -5)
spooky OH how I can relate with you at this very minute. My dad is on hospice too but he is at home here with me so it is a 24/7 wait, watch for us. My dads respirations were 4-5 last night, o2 sat in 80"s, heart beat in 40's. with apnea of 25-45 sec. This is the hardest thing to watch and just wait. We have told him he could let go anytime that we would be all ok. He asked for preacher yesterday and wanted to privatley talk to him. He will occasionally open eyes, still restless a little bit moving arms & legs, his urine is very dark. I believe touch is very important and letting them know how much we love them! Those tender mommets with your mom & dad you will cherish forever! I know its heart breaking however! I feel your pain and I pray for your family that God will wrap ya'll in His arms! At this point I pray that God would hurry up and just take my dad, because I know he would not want to be here like this and in pain. Hopsice has been wonderful, cant say enough about them! God Bless you & Be with your family!
Posted 11/7/2010 8:32 AM (GMT -5)
my prayers r with u spook... take care of urself... Sandi
Posted 11/10/2010 8:34 AM (GMT -5)
Spooky I have been thinking of you and your family these last couple of days! How is your dad doing? I lost my dad this last Sunday~ I dont know if you have read any of my post that I replied back to you, but just want you to know I know excatly how ya feel, having been through it~ it was 5 wks that dad was on hospice they had told him 3-6 months . My heart goes out to you and your family! Prayers with you!
Posted 11/10/2010 8:41 AM (GMT -5)
(((Boomer))) ,  Please accept my deepest condolences on your father's passing.   I know it's tough right now......Just know that their are a lot of thoughts and prayers for you and your family.  

(((Spooky))),  thinking of you right now also........

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