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Waiting & watching Dads every breathe

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Posted 11/6/2010 8:50 AM (GMT -5)
Wel I havent posted in a while about my dad. Dad has been in the bed since last Sunday. Last night his respirations were 4-5, apnea was 25-45 sec, 02 sat in 80'2, heart rate 40's It has been a very long week for us. My dad is on hospice here with me in my home. His urine is very dark, and his lungs are starting to fill with fluid, hasnt eating since last Sat. and then it was just a few bites, he has only had a few sips of liquid here and there throughout this whole week. This is the hardest thing Ive ever done is just sit and wait n watch for that last breathe, hopsice nurse said last night that he probally wouldnt make it another 24 hrs. We have 3 children in the home, 16, 14, & 11 its very heartbreaking to see them watch their grandfather die very slowly. My heart is breaking! My prayer to God is, He just take him now! I know with ALL my heart my dad would NOT want to be laying here like this.

Restless & Heartbroken~ Kelly

Posted 11/6/2010 10:40 AM (GMT -5)
Kelly, this is very hard. You are doing the right things. His passing at home with those he loves is important. You are teaching your children about love and the natural course of things. We live, we die. It is okay.

I did the same for my Dad years ago. He was 9 days without food or drink before he passed, but not really conscious either. He seemed very AWAKE. As though he was afraid to close his eyes and die, until we each told him it was okay, it was his time, and we would be okay. He seemed to look at us and listen to us as we talked to him, gently. But didn't answer back.

The day he died, the 3 children were at school. 7, 8, 9. What to do? Well, we decided to wait to call anyone. The nurse helped us clean up the bedding and redressed him in clean pjs. We let the children say good bye. He was just the same as when they left for school, propped up in the hospital bed he had lived in for nearly a year in our living room. But not breathing this time. Then we took them to a friends house while they pronounced him and the undertaker came.

My then 9 year old, who is a beautiful 36 year old now, with children of her own, said the best thing, in her own little girl way: "I am happy and sad today. Sad he died. But happy he died at home with us here, because that is what he wanted."

She is a very sensible girl and I am hoping she can do the same for me one day...provide for my passing quietly, with family by my side.

Best to you and your family...I shed my own tears now, just thinking of your loss so near at hand.

Mama Lama in Florida
Posted 11/6/2010 10:51 AM (GMT -5)
Having just been through this six months ago... I know some of what you are going through... my prayers and thoughts are with you at this time.. so sorry for all you are goin through ... Sandi
Posted 11/6/2010 12:02 PM (GMT -5)

Kelly, this must seem very quick to you...and yet dragging out interminably.  I watched my aunt die nearly 2 yrs. ago and it was very similar, though she was in a hospice facility.

My heart goes out to you and your family during this very difficult time.  He will soon be free.

Big hugs,

Connie

Posted 11/6/2010 12:05 PM (GMT -5)
Mama Lama
Thank you for sharing that with me. I think when reality sat in with my children, they had mixed emotions about him dying here in our home I think that they are ok with it now, or at least I hope n pray they are. My dad was not n is not ready to die he made that very clear . Everyone has told dad it is ok to let go, I asked my husband " I wonder what he is waiting on, n my husband gently told me its not his choice~ he is on Gods timing. But I also know dad did not want to be in this condition that he is now in~ he'd rather be dead. Its just so hard/emotionl waiting~ Ive never been a patient waiter! lol my 2 older children have witness death before 2 yrs ago~ my 19 yr brother had a car accident and had fluid on the brain and we were back n forth from ICU to rehab for 3 months, he die on Nov. 16th, the 2 older children went to funeral but my lil one did not want to go, so this has been hard on him watching his gpa. But they all take comfort in knowing he is a christian and will be in heaven~
Thank you Sandi~ I know its still hard for you also~ May God Comfort you & your family also!
Posted 11/6/2010 2:47 PM (GMT -5)
Kelly, so sorry about your brother.  That had to be really difficult because of his age.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 11/6/2010 4:22 PM (GMT -5)
Kelly-I am sorry for what you and your family are going through.  I agree with ML-you are showing your children about loving your parent.  You will be in my prayers.

Emma

Posted 11/7/2010 8:24 AM (GMT -5)
Yes Kelly... Mike and I were there when his brother Steve died just three years before from ESLD... so it was traumatic to go back over it... and this time Mike wasn't there to process it all... but God was... so sorry for what u r going through... I wish u strength for the journey... Sandi
Posted 11/7/2010 12:55 PM (GMT -5)
Kelly, I too am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
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