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ML, you can imagine how pleased I am!!  I agree he doesn't need inpatient--he's already detoxed.  Once he gets a few meetings under his belt, he needs to get a copy of Alcoholics Anonymous--known in AA as "the Big Book."  Almost everything he needs to know is in that book.  Also helpful is a daily meditation book (there are ones specifically for men) and the book 12 Steps and 12 Traditions.  These books can be bought at most AA clubs or online. 

There are many different types of meetings:  open Discussion, Closed Discussion, Step Meetings, open Speaker Meetings, etc.  In the beginning, he is better off going to Speaker Meetings (usually held once a week, on Sat. or Sun. night) and 12-Step Speaker Meetings where a long-time sober member goes through each of the steps...one a week for 12 weeks.  These are also held once a week.  He needs to get a meeting schedule to see when these are held.  These can be supplemented by open or Closed Discussion Meetings.

The Chairperson that he needs to sign his form is an AA member.  Usually one has to be sober for at least 6 months before chairing a meeting.

Does he have a sponsor yet?

I agree with Emma that this is a new beginning!  Remember that I, too, have hep C and cirrhosis and beat liver cancer.  I'm convinced if I had been drinking I probably would not be sitting here today.

Just remember that sobriety has to be his #1 priority.  The family dynamic is going to change if he continues to be sober.  This sometimes causes friction.  (There's a chapter in the Big Book, "To Wives," explaining the process.  At the time the book was written, there were no women in AA.)

Big hugs,

Connie

That's part of it, Emma:  Finding things to do that don't require alcohol.  Right now, his health and doctor appts., etc., are taking up most of your time and his.  I had a change with my daughter.  I had been her drinking buddy and she was also very good at manipulating me with guilt trips.  She really wasn't happy at first about me no longer drinking.  It took over a year before I quit letting her manipulate me or go on guilt trips.  We really haven't gotten along well since then as I've found a new way to live and she has not.  She was happy as long as I was doing what she wanted me to.

In the case of caregivers, you guys are used to taking the reins and handling everything.  In time, as your partners start feeling better and want more involvement and self-responsiblity in their lives, you may have a difficult time letting go.  Just something to be aware of.

Hugs,

Connie

Emma, you did the right thing and I commend you for that.  Once in a rare while, I'll think how nice it would be to have a glass of wine...but the thought drifts in and out of my mind in a flash, after all these years.  I am tempted more by cigarette smoke--I'm coming up on 8 yrs. without nicotine and yet the smell of cigarette smoke can ignite a desire for one.  I just don't follow through with the act.  I learned long ago that it's okay to have the thought, as long as you don't dwell on it or act on it.  It does make you stronger as a person if you don't give in to a drink or pill or cigarette when under stress.  In the beginning of sobriety I had to learn to think the desire for a drink through to what always happened:  One would lead to 10, a hangover, remorse, and starting over once again.  That's what the AA saying, "It's the first drink that gets you drunk" means.  If an alcoholic takes that first drink, he WILL get drunk.  Not the case with you, but you are wise to give him time to get some sobriety behind him.

Just yesterday, a study came out stating that alcohol is worse for one's body than heroin or cocaine.

I'm glad you had some discussion of your changing roles and also good that you have counseling to help you both.

Hugs,

Connie