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Posted 11/22/2010 9:04 PM (GMT -5)
I can't believe that just last week I was bragging about feeling better.... I got ill (mostly mental) last Friday and my mind has gone down hill from there.  It is this unbearable depression (and some is anxiety) and tho I feel some psychiatric problems in my mind, the worst part of this does NOT feel psychiatric -- it's like a swirling hole I cannot climb out of, almost paralysis.

So I can't really describe it -- maybe many of you feel like this, but I feel I can't take it much longer.  It's very painful. It's unbearable, but nothing I can do about it.

I cannot find the video about the guy that's went all psychotic on Cipro and some kind of pain med.  But if you have seen it, that's the way that I feel -- (I'm crying, but not sobbing uncontrollably like he is)  my mind is like this unbearable trap -- it isn't the thoughts, it's just plain misery, I can't describe it.

The reason I am posting is because I wonder if anyone knows about all these drug interactions. There is (somewhere) a video of a guy who is bawling and can't stop and wants to die and it's from his drug interactions which should have been known.

I am on augmentin, mepron, LDN, xanax, and Amiltriptyline.  Before Lyme, I was well on a very low dose of Amil and only .25 xanax at bedtime.  That was from an older depression which was significantly improved.   Had to up those doses after getting Lyme, even tho I didn't know it was Lyme.  We thought somehow (job layoff) my depression had worsened to the point of physical pain, but now I know it was Lyme and Babs.

Today I do feel like either I'm herxing or having a 'flare up', but my mind is out of control and I know it is physical. I took 1 xanax about 30 min ago and that is the only way I can sit here and type this. Before it kicked in, I stood, paralyzed, by the sink, trying to wash and brush and it felt impossible.  I always feel like I can't go on.

OK, this post is not about need of sympathy, but because I'm beginning to wonder if we know everything about all these drug interactions.  If a guy can go psycho on Cipro and a anti-inflammatory, what about us?  What if all this is just causing me brain damage?

I admit that up until last week, I resorted to 2-3 drinks frequently -- first, it took away those feelings, next it felt good, next it put me out.  But I quit that altogether and I just feel worse.

We have discussed the mental misery of Lyme, babs, etc here over and over. But now I can't help but wonder about drug interactions and how in the world we could ever figure that out? 

I have posted that guy's video before. If i can find it, I'll post it again. It's one of the most horrific things you've ever seen.

You guys are all so smart -- what do you think about this?  When I feel like I can't take it any more, there is nothing that I can do. I don't feel like I can live like this anymore, but I know I can't die either, so I'm stuck in misery.  And I know that even if I went to ER or some kind of psychiatric emergency servcie, there is nothing they could do to fix this.  When I am totally breaking down I want to reach out to my parents or one of my kids, but I can't do this to them, and 2 of my kids can't take it anymore.  I am just so pathetic.

I will look again for the video, try to wash and brush and come back.

** I found the video, see if this link works. (btw, there's tons of drug side effect vids on youtube)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oXGWRxs25g&playnext=1&list=PLCD96ABFD777860D6&index=41

Post Edited (+Lyme) : 11/22/2010 7:09:57 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/22/2010 9:30 PM (GMT -5)
I don't have personal experience with this, but others I talk with regularly say that this is a typical bartonella flare-up. Could be that the meds you're on are making the symptoms flare, rather than being a side effect of medications.

Sometimes treating babesia (mepron) will make the bartonella flare, since it can be 'hidden' by the babesia. One patient said that the psych symptoms she had when treating babesia were horrific, so much that she said she'd rather have the babesia masking the bartonella for the rest of her life than deal with the bartonella psych symptoms.

Talk to your doc about adjusting your meds, or maybe pulsing your meds, so you can tolerate this better. PM me if you want the contact info for someone who has had the same experiences as you with this, maybe she can help.
Posted 11/22/2010 9:42 PM (GMT -5)
Lindaca, thank you so much for this. Some here have said some of my symptoms sound like Bart. . My Bartonella test was negative. Never a Bart rash either. Are these tests reliable? or as elusive as Lyme?

Should I request another test? Wouldn't my abx fight Bart as well?

Yes, I feel the Babs. Just started Mepron couple of weeks ago.

Still concerned about drug interactions, too.
Posted 11/23/2010 1:05 AM (GMT -5)
I am one of those people that said that I thought you had Bart because everything you describe is what I felt while on treatment. It got so bad for me that I woke up one day not knowing where I was at first. I looked over at my husband and didn't know his name. I started freaking out. I kept trying to think of his name and I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember my childrens names either. It took me a while to finally remember. After I remembered, I felt like I was going to forget again. Like I had no control on remembering anything. I kept saying all of their names over and over. It was horrible. I had the bad depression too. I felt just like you...like it was physical. I couldn't shake it. I had been depressed before but never like that. I felt like I had this evil something...whatever it was, hovering over me. It's hard to explain what it feels like but it is horrible. I still think that it's the toxins. I think the toxins are getting into the brain. Since I've been off of antibiotics, I have never had that bad feeling again. But, it took a while, maybe a few months, for me to feel normal again.

I agree with the post above to cut down or pulse your antibiotics. I think your body has been beat up really bad by all of the medication you are on and have been on. Sometimes our liver cannot filter out the toxins fast enough so it is redistributed back into our bodies and causes havoc.

If you have Bartonella, it can cause alot of mental problems. It effects you mentally causing depression and rage. I think doctors should go by symptoms, just like they do with Lyme Disease. In my opinion, you have the symptoms of Bart.

Levaquin and Rifampin are used to treat Bartonella.
Posted 11/23/2010 3:40 AM (GMT -5)
I agree that this is more likely a herx or toxic buildup. Bart tests are inaccurate mostly because there are many more strains of Bart than what the tests are designed to detect. I've tested negative for Bart too but was diagnosed clinically with Bart by 2 LLMD's and 1 LLND.

Take care,
Posted 11/23/2010 6:17 AM (GMT -5)
+Lyme,

I haven't been on the forums much at all lately, but just read your post and wanted to reply.

You are NOT pathetic. I know how you feel. You are not alone.

Just wondering - how long have you been taking Augmentin? I ask because I took it for over a year (it was the ONLY antibiotic I could tolerate). It helped a lot but only to a certain point and then I got to a plateau. Have you considered changing to something stronger? My doctor eventually insisted I switch to something that would penetrate my brain (I put him off for a long time because I was so scared to change from the Augmentin that had finally become my friend!).

Consider that if there's bacteria overloading your brain, it's no wonder you're experiencing all this depression, anxiety, and craziness! The Xanax and beers are only masking it and it probably feels like you're in a constant battle... I would seriously consider that it may be time to jump ship to another antibiotic.

I'm really sorry to hear you're suffering. You are in my prayers.

Rachel
Posted 11/23/2010 7:58 AM (GMT -5)
I'm only on Doxy and .5 Ativan so I can get to sleep at night.....so I can't add much to this discussion in the way of drug combos or Cipro causing what you are describing, +Lyme. But a flare up or toxin build up sounds possible to me.

Yesterday I just flipped out with rage, anxiety and depression and also feel-- mentally-- like I'm in some sort of a frustrating 'waiting room' that I can't get out of. Like what Cajungrl describes.....evil hovering. 

I've only been on the Doxy for three weeks-- some sympoms have resolved--- others are not going away at all.  Maybe the 'crazies' ARE really the toxins. 

Oh gosh!  I hope you feel better soon!  

Posted 11/23/2010 8:20 AM (GMT -5)
Hang in there +Lyme!
You said - "You guys are all so smart"- but please don't ever forget the many others that you have helped, like me!!

I wasn't as bad as the guy in the video, but very close - too close!! I was also totally convinced that my hubby, & both of my biological children were plotting to convince me that I was going insane - literally- and since those three & I are very, very close it was quite a traumatic experience. Fortunately I have not had to deal with anything as serious as that was for me for a while now. although I am scared that it is creeping back into my life again.

There are quite a few "drug interaction checkers" on the Internet. I use them frequently for both Hubby's & my own pills..
I in no way want to promote this site above any other I get NO compensation whatsoever from this site, but here's one to get you (or anyone else started;

www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.php

Another thing, at least for me, is the time of year. I have lost quite a few family members & others that I was very close to & now have a hard time not being depressed just over the yearly reminders. Another thing is that 'The Holiday Season' has been proven to be a hard thing for lots of people to get through. It surely can be one of the most depressing, overwhelming, & stressful time of the year for many.

I think if I was you, I would definitely follow up with your doc about all of this & ask about a different abx at that time. No one should have to live with these feelings for any length of time.
Posted 11/23/2010 12:27 PM (GMT -5)
Dear +Lyme,

I do understand what you're going through, believe me! I HAVE to take Lyrica + Cymbalta, or I'm in terrible fibromyalgia-type pain plus severely depressed/anxious/just plain whacko.

I'm on more medications than I can list anymore, so who knows about interactions....I'm sure there are some. But I've been dx with Bartonella by an LLMD and an LLND, and as Razzle said, Bart tests are inaccurate. They are inaccurate for a number of reasons. Bartonella can actually "turn off" the body's ability to make antibodies to itself and to Lyme disease!! So testing for the antibodies does no good anyway!. :(

Please, please discuss this with your doctor ASAP....there must be something that could help you climb out of this!! You're in my thoughts and prayers!

((((((((hugs))))))))
JoAnn
Posted 11/23/2010 2:31 PM (GMT -5)
Thank you, every single one of you. I can't say much right now because I am going to work. I feel a little relief today, hope it lasts a little longer! That's how I know it's physical. I know there are things I am depressed about, but not to the point of being that sick -- because I at least know all the positives in my life too. But when that 'thing' comes on -- and last weekend and yesterday were humdingers -- I can't even think straight. At least I don't have dying on the brain right now. LEt's hope I stay OK thru the work shift!

I will look at everything you all have sent when I get home and I appreciate it! I can't even comment on all of it now -- So much info here, you guys are awesome!
Posted 11/23/2010 5:32 PM (GMT -5)
+Lyme, glad to hear today a little better. Just think tomorrow may be better yet. I have been through exactly what you described which is why I started with just xanax and am now on cymbalta also. It has given me my life back. I also changed my lifestyle and learned to avoid stressful events or if work is stressful I totally take it easy for a few days. I also have bartonella which my llmd said has been the cause of my depression/rage/anxiety.

Take one day at a time. Remember lemon water and dry brushing, two simples things that can help you detox. Keep us informed. We'll be here when you need us. this board was literally a lifesaver for me.
Posted 11/23/2010 10:06 PM (GMT -5)
hey I'm right there with you and an I'm not even on antibiotics. but cipiro isin same famly as levequan and than is a big bartonela drug. It's full moon last couple days gang. I too am in the darkest hole .. this is why I am afraid of the antibiotics because I may loose my mind but I am anyway. coffee enema is best thing to pull the toxins out of your liver and brain....

you gotta fight it, Lyme+

we all need to meet up in a room and scream our heads off for 20 minutes till we have nothing left but that feeling like we're on LSD.
Posted 11/23/2010 10:40 PM (GMT -5)
holy cow, i just watched the video. i wonder if that guy had bartonella and didm
n't know it? probably hat caused the prosrtate thing in first place. i wass exactly as cracked up cpmpletely on 50mg 2x a day of doxy. this is why people should be put in hospitol while treating lymes .

i think the bad reactions to abx is people herxing and they dont even knowthey have lye,
Posted 11/23/2010 11:25 PM (GMT -5)
Bucci, Oh, I think this guy was definitely psychotic, and his point was that was already known (back in 1990 what?) about Cipro side effects.

And, from your email, I think you misunderstood or I was not clear (most likely) I am not on Cipro. The guy in the video had been on Cipro and claims there are many warnings/drug reactions that the sufferer is not informed of. He maintains that it was already known that Cipro can do this to some people, yet he kept being turned away and labeled 'crazy'.

I have never suffered the anguish and horrific mental pain that he was suffering. All I know is that he was acting the way that I felt.

AND if Cipro is the best or only drug to treat Bart, I don't know what I will do. Because I see that Cipro causes pain, damage, and psychosis, but so does Bart.

And I don't understand how or why these powerful, overwhelming feelings occur and then subside later on. I just wanted to make sure it was not a bad drug combo that would cause brain damage, or if it is/was side effects from the drugs, and/or herxes.

Thank you again everyone. Trav, I will definitely look at your link, thank you.

Post Edited (+Lyme) : 11/23/2010 9:30:01 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/23/2010 11:54 PM (GMT -5)
I have to say Cipro saved my life. It's the weird thing about this disease and its treatments....what works for one might cause harm to another. For what it's worth, +Lyme, your symptoms sound like mine before I even started on abx and they sure sound like Bart to me. The weird crying was perplexing to me. I would just have tears running down my face. I could be in front of the tv watching a funny show yet need a kleenex to soak up the tears. The suicidal thoughts and plans were also pretty scary. It took only two days on Cipro to stop both of the main symptoms. Don't get me wrong, I'm still nuts, but at least there aren't tears running down my face while I'm contemplating suicide. By the way, when I pulled up Cipro, it says it's indicated for Lyme, Bart and Mycoplasma. Since it's working pretty good for me, I'm guessing it's killing off my main problems!

Hey Bucci, not only was it a full moon on Sunday, it was also what they call a blue moon....surely that makes it even more special in stirring up the squirrels!!

Trav, I'm sorry about your losing the family members and friends. I know from experience it doesn't get any easier. I also don't think much of this upcoming holiday season since I wasn't a member of the Beaver Cleaver family!!! Not too many happy memories. All the best getting through it.
Posted 11/26/2010 10:09 AM (GMT -5)
So Mamyou,
You aren't from a 'Cleaver Family' either? WOW!! giggle! Yep! I always was told that time makes things better - but sometimes it doesn't quite work out that way...

I am sorry to hear that you are in that lovely boat with me.

We are definitely a 'special' group!!!
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