I can't believe that just last week I was bragging about
feeling better.... I got ill (mostly mental) last Friday and my mind has gone down hill from there. It is this unbearable depression (and some is anxiety) and tho I feel some psychiatric problems in my mind, the worst part of this does NOT feel psychiatric -- it's like a swirling hole I cannot climb out of, almost paralysis.
So I can't really describe it -- maybe many of you feel like this, but I feel I can't take it much longer. It's very painful. It's unbearable, but nothing I can do about it.
I cannot find the video about the guy that's went all psychotic on Cipro and some kind of pain med. But if you have seen it, that's the way that I feel -- (I'm crying, but not sobbing uncontrollably like he is) my mind is like this unbearable trap -- it isn't the thoughts, it's just plain misery, I can't describe it.
The reason I am posting is because I wonder if anyone knows about all these drug interactions. There is (somewhere) a video of a guy who is bawling and can't stop and wants to die and it's from his drug interactions which should have been known.
I am on augmentin, mepron, LDN, xanax, and Amiltriptyline. Before Lyme, I was well on a very low dose of Amil and only .25 xanax at bedtime. That was from an older depression which was significantly improved. Had to up those doses after getting Lyme, even tho I didn't know it was Lyme. We thought somehow (job layoff) my depression had worsened to the point of physical pain, but now I know it was Lyme and Babs.
Today I do feel like either I'm herxing or having a 'flare up', but my mind is out of control and I know it is physical. I took 1 xanax about 30 min ago and that is the only way I can sit here and type this. Before it kicked in, I stood, paralyzed, by the sink, trying to wash and brush and it felt impossible. I always feel like I can't go on.
OK, this post is not about need of sympathy, but because I'm beginning to wonder if we know everything about all these drug interactions. If a guy can go psycho on Cipro and a anti-inflammatory, what about us? What if all this is just causing me brain damage?
I admit that up until last week, I resorted to 2-3 drinks frequently -- first, it took away those feelings, next it felt good, next it put me out. But I quit that altogether and I just feel worse.
We have discussed the mental misery of Lyme, babs, etc here over and over. But now I can't help but wonder about drug interactions and how in the world we could ever figure that out?
I have posted that guy's video before. If i can find it, I'll post it again. It's one of the most horrific things you've ever seen.
You guys are all so smart -- what do you think about this? When I feel like I can't take it any more, there is nothing that I can do. I don't feel like I can live like this anymore, but I know I can't die either, so I'm stuck in misery. And I know that even if I went to ER or some kind of psychiatric emergency servcie, there is nothing they could do to fix this. When I am totally breaking down I want to reach out to my parents or one of my kids, but I can't do this to them, and 2 of my kids can't take it anymore. I am just so pathetic.
I will look again for the video, try to wash and brush and come back.
** I found the video, see if this link works. (btw, there's tons of drug side effect vids on youtube)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oXGWRxs25g&playnext=1&list=PLCD96ABFD777860D6&index=41
Post Edited (+Lyme) : 11/22/2010 7:09:57 PM (GMT-7)