HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

OT ~ Diet Soda

Support Forums
>
Lyme Disease
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 12/9/2011 7:26 AM (GMT -5)
Hi all,

I have a problem and don't know what to do about it..

My boyfriend drinks at least 15 cans of either Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi daily and I know how bad this is for him.  He is as stubborn as I am and does not want to give it up, I believe he's addicted.  He had a heart attack 16 years ago and I believe the soda attributed to this.

I have tried "suggesting" to him all the scientific reasons why he should give it up or at least cut down but he refuses.

Any ideas on what I can "suggest" to him?  We are both 55 years old and he is more set in his ways compared to me...

Thanks!

Denise

Posted 12/9/2011 8:03 AM (GMT -5)
Hi Denise,

Probably the more you "suggest" things, the more he is going to stonewall you! I've seen a couple family members appear to be addicted to these soft drinks.

My sister in law almost had a crises when they discontinued TAB! And my son in law was drinking 20 Cokes a day and couldn't understand why he wasn't sleeping at all!!

I don't know if it is so much an addiction as a combination of being a habit and part of their identity. They think of themselves as "a coke drinker", and the first thing they do is grab one. Is it a security blanket in a can?

You are on very shaky ground when you try to tell someone else how to live -- even if you love that person and you are just trying to make them feel better ... or save their lives!! I have found with my people that it is best to wait until they ask why they don't feel well so it doesn't seem like an attack.

Also, making something more else easily available instead of the offending drink can help. (Put a non-caffeinated unsweetened drink in front of the diet coke in the fridge)! It's okay to be a little sneaky: you are saving a life!
Posted 12/9/2011 11:27 AM (GMT -5)
I've got the same problem myself, but a different addiction.....my fiance smokes. And I agree with the previous poster; you can't tell someone what they should be doing - even if it is for their own health. It is a very difficult position. I have found that the more I push, even gently, the more stubborn he can become with it. The best thing to do is try to eat (or drink) healthy things, and hopefully he may come around somewhat. But the bottom line is - he is a grown man and makes his own decisions. I am sure he realizes that all that diet soda can't be good for him, but chooses to drink it anyway, so telling him about the scientific reasons he should quit will only backfire.

By the way, my fiance also has a soda problem too. He drinks regular Pepsi; only 1 or 2 cans a day. But as long as he keeps himself in good shape, which he does with regular exercise, I can't complain. I can only hope he gives up smoking!
Posted 12/9/2011 11:51 PM (GMT -5)
Yikes that doesn't sound too healthy! What is it that you're worried about? Is it caffeinated or are you worried about artificial sweeteners? If it's caffeine, I guess he could try just switching back and forth between caffeinated and decaf......

...although unfortunately I agree with the others. Trying to convince someone to change their behavior is only going to make them cling to it more.
Posted 12/10/2011 7:18 AM (GMT -5)
Yeah, I already mentioned it to him in the past and he just kind of ignored me in a nice way... 

What worries me is the Aspartame.  I guess I read too many articles such as this one below and that scared me...

http://aspartame.mercola.com/

But if he told me to stop drinking my morning coffee I would say to him "what are you nuts?"  LOL!

He complains about being cold all the time (from the inside out) as well as headaches...  I don't know if the diet soda is causing him to feel cold but I'm sure it's giving him headaches...

He's been to his doctors and all his doctors draw blanks when it comes to him being so cold... Even in the summer when it's hot outside he's cold...  Not good!

Thanks for all your responses... Any more would be welcomed.. 

Denise

Posted 12/10/2011 2:34 PM (GMT -5)
Wellll, Denutsy, you know I have to say something!! LOL!!! I know all of the bad about sugary sodas and all, but why not just try to get him to switch to regular soda? If it's the aspartame -which has it's own disease named after it!!!- the improvement itself will speak louder than you ever could! I would also suggest that you say something about not asking him to give up the caffeine - since you would rather jump out the window than do that yourself!!! LOL! Don't worry, I'll already have jumped out the winder and will catch you!!! smilewinkgrin I'm not giving up my caffeine either!! devil
Posted 12/10/2011 4:30 PM (GMT -5)
like someone said earlier, "knowledge is POWER" !!! Give him the facts in print. Keep it very short and simple with guys.

it's the sweeteners, acids, colorings, caffeine, etc. BUT mostly, with his case, the shear volume he's consuming per day. YIKES!!!! Is all I can say.

Express your love and concern for his health. That you would like to continue being a couple as long as possible. (If it's true?) Just like that without nagging. Although the absolute most affective way of helping someone that doesn't want to hear the truth about themselves, is praying for him!!! God can change anybodies heart about anything!! Don't give up on him. He has a problem and don't belittle it because it isn't as "nasty" as lyme.

Thia, don't fool yourself about the smoking. You are a second hand smoker as long as you are with your fiance while he smokes!! You're breathing in just as much smoke as he is. A smoker exhales approx. 74% of what he inhaled.

And you are telling him "it's o.k. to smoke" if you are with him while he's doing it. So why would there be any motivation for him to quit? We all have to remember that smokers are not concerned about their own health, so how can they be concerned for your health? Food for thought. Please, show him your love by helping him to stop smoking before you are married to him. Tell him you want him to be committed to you, not cigarettes.

When people we love have problems that hurt themselves or others, we have to be willing to be honest with them. Even if it means pissing off that person!!! If we don't, because it's too uncomfortable for ourselves, then we don't really love that person. Wouldn't you rather have someone pissed off at you and alive??

I hope this is helpful,
prayers for us all to be loving beyond what we can imagine is possible,
Lisa
Posted 12/10/2011 4:36 PM (GMT -5)
Leave him be, or at least, give him one last lecture and then drop it. I'm sure he knows how you feel by now.

I agree with lots of what Lisa says, but as a student of human nature, at some point too much preaching becomes counter-productive. You should at least make the boyfriend smoke outside though.

btw - the main issue that I'm aware of w/ artificial sweeteners is that they can be a major migraine trigger.
Posted 12/10/2011 5:46 PM (GMT -5)
I have to disagree that smokers don't care for their own health. I was a smoker -it was a terrible addiction for me but no one could say that I didn't care for my health, as I did as much as I could for my health other than to quit smoking for many years before I could finally quit.

Maybe I wasn't as concerned as I should have been when I started smoking as a 20 yr old, but once addicted, I couldn't quit until just a few years ago -even though I knew how bad it was for me.

Addiction is a terrible monkey to have on your back. I don't envy anyone wanting/trying to quit smoking. I am here to help support anyone that feels the need to quit though!
Posted 12/10/2011 5:47 PM (GMT -5)
Hi Sickman,
You should google "Aspertame Disease". It's a real eye opener. You can find some pretty good info by researchers on this.
Posted 12/10/2011 7:56 PM (GMT -5)
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC387446/

Wow.
Posted 12/11/2011 1:02 AM (GMT -5)
by any chance does has acid reflux and esophagil problems.

There are people that drink the soda all day long because they need to FEEL that going
down the throat and actually FEEL it is even their digestive enzyme.

MANY people who drink the pepsi and cokes like that are feeding another illness.
or it is like their unconscious treatment. and so it becomes addiction.

how do you know your friend or husband does not have lyme of mold infection.
The gut symptoms are identical and this pepsi coke thing is a gut thing.

hope that make sense but it is what I have wittnessed in everyone I know who is like this with the pepsi cokes. many live in mold.
Posted 12/11/2011 8:09 PM (GMT -5)
Hi all,

Thanks again for all your responses!  I had no idea Aspertame was a disease.

I read more about it and my boyfriend is embalming himself and I don't think he knows this which is why his body temperature is always around 95.? and he is always cold...   It's very scary!!

I'm going to wait until after the Holidays and then print out articles I saved and let him read it.  He drinks suger-free because he doesn't want to gain weight.. I want to encourage him that I would rather have him around being overweight then embalming himself..

My real ace in the hole is how much he loves his 3 year old grandson..  I know he wants to see that kid grow up.... 

Aspertame is really bad stuff!!

Denise

Posted 12/12/2011 9:05 AM (GMT -5)
That diet soda is a tough thing to give up. I drink some myself, very sparingly (probably two-to-three cans a week). I hate that I drink it, because I know it's so bad, but what about the sugar in regular sodas? I cannot believe the amount of sugar -42 grams or so - in just one can of soda. And sugar feeds my lyme symptoms like you wouldn't believe! So what is the solution here? I certainly am not drinking diet soda for weight purposes, but because of the lyme disease!

And as for my fiance smoking, I absolutely hate it. And he never smokes in front of me, because he knows I hate it and I can't stand the smell of smoke. He only smokes outside, maybe four a day. He never, ever smokes in the house or in the car. He's one of those people that had his father live until he was 95 years old, in perfect health, and the guy smoked every day of his life and ate steak (and the fat in it!).
Posted 12/15/2011 7:02 AM (GMT -5)
Well, as fate would have it, I expressed my concerns to my boyfriend's eldest daughter, she researched diet soda and had a talk with her Dad..  He is now switching over to regular soda...  No more embalming sugar...

I'm so happy!   He even said to me that he felt warmer when he used to drink regular soda.. 

Thia, my grandpa smoked 4 packs a day and he lived until his middle 90's..  Of course it's not good but people will do what they really want...

Denise

Posted 12/15/2011 8:45 AM (GMT -5)
Wonderful news Deejavu!

Maybe I should use your technique and talk to my fiance's sons. That might do the trick for the smoking! I really wish I could get him to stop.
Posted 12/15/2011 11:20 AM (GMT -5)
Congrats Denise!!

Of course one day you will have to talk to him about all the sugar/caffeine he is consuming because of the sodas he drinks....but that's something that's probably best to let lay for a bit! LOL!!
Posted 12/15/2011 11:27 AM (GMT -5)
Thia,
Speaking as a fairly recent ex-smoker (1 1/2 yrs so far!), please be very patient with your fiance. Nicotine addiction can be quite severe for some - it sure was for me, even though I rarely smoked more than 7 or 8 cigarettes a day - a really stressful day would send me to 10 cigarettes in one day.

It took me "being in the right place" emotionally/mentally before I could reduce the amount that I was smoking to only 2 cigarettes a day, then to walking away from them. I also had to have cigarettes in the house while I stopped smoking - it acted like a security blankey!!! Giggle!! But I made it!!

Be very supportive without being judgmental or 'harping'. I don't know how my hubby did it, but it was what made it possible for me to quit!
Posted 12/15/2011 12:30 PM (GMT -5)
Congrats on your 1 1/2 years Trav! I swore off cigarettes back when I was about 6 years old. I remember my mom and dad smoking in the car on winter days with the windows closed and on log trips...that second hand smoke was sickening. I swore there and there that I would not smoke. So, in high school , I took one puff off a cigarette and never took another...yeck! My dad quit way back in the late 70s when they found a spot on his lung - it turned out to be an old scar from undetected childhood pneumonia or something but it scared him so bad that he stopped smoking cold turkey. My mom - well it took her about 20 more years to quit. I think I have read that women have a harder time quitting than men in general....but, congrats again on your triumph over cigarettes!
Posted 12/15/2011 2:32 PM (GMT -5)
Thanks Yazzer!!
It was a struggle that was hard-won - but that's my biggest motivator when I feel like slipping up!! I have NO desire to go through that again!!! LOL!! Okay, call me weak! smilewinkgrin
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply