returning after a half year - lyme's back

I was diagnosed with lyme in April of 2011. I was one of those people whose initial lyme tests were positive in every exam - the Mayo Clinic exam and the Igenex. Everything was positive Igm and Igg. I had lyme. No question about it. I went to a doctor to whom I drove 7 hours. I went on a regime of antibiotics for around 6 months. I developed terrible rashes which were probably allergic reactions since we have allergies to certain antibiotics in the family. I even developed an allergy when I upped my dose of Doxycycline. The rashes were horrible - swollen - red and hot. My next med was supposed to be flagyl but I had take flagyl 30 years ago and knew I could not tolerate it. In January I decided to stop meds and see what happened. I seemed to be doing fine. I got some energy back, tilled large gardens and planted - started seeing a psychologist, thinking that some of the issues were psychological rather than physical.

Then I went through some painful stress in relationship with my family. It started, strangely, when I first got lyme. The stress has been horrible. I have pushed myself to take care of my gardens but accomplished little else. Lately I am feeling a terrible tightness in my chest and the feeling that I have the flu - nearly all the time. I can't seem to get my mind wrapped around tasks.

I have to say that I am 70. The symptoms I have been having, however, are not age related. I am pretty fit for my age - or I was before lyme. They feel very much like a low grade flu and I am just about sure it is lyme again. Since I got lyme last year, my personality has changed. I am more and more isolated and my personality which is usually vibrant is flat - or that is how I feel. I am getting worried. I don't have the personal will anymore to go back to treatment and there were problems with that doctor - at least in the communication between appointments since he was so far away. He tested me for allergies and the meds plus his allergy regime simply got overwhelming to keep track of - and so I stopped everything.

It is hard to start again. Is there some way to be tested again or is there any point to it. Is it lyme or is it something else? Is it merely a reaction to intense, prolonged stress? How do you know?

How does someone find the will to start all over again? How do you sort out what is stress or even depression and what is lyme? Are there any new tests?

I feel I am back to step one. There are none of the good lyme doctors close by. I am very interested in that test. Is it given in standard medical offices?

Welcome back!

Well, at least you got your garden going this year -- I know that is important to you. We've had great production this year, but I'm about to yield the garden over to the weeds -- now that they are taller than I am!

Sorry to hear your symptoms are getting the better of you.

Hope you can find a treatment that suits you.

It is essential to have a reason to get well, I have found. Just plodding along is not enough. A goal beyond getting well, a person that you want to be there for is is an essential motivation.

I hope you find that.

Take care.

Summer3, actually i just decided to go into the large city three hours from here to consult an acupuncturist and nutritionist. I think that makes a lot of sense. I think it is wise to be sure my body is as balanced and healthy as possible. I have given up the basic daily requirements - no gluten, no sugar, no alcohol. Sugar is in moderation but I have had some heavy sugar days to get energy when I had a large group coming to my home - and I am putting it in my coffee in the AM - I am not a big gluten eater but I am not avoiding it either. And I am having a glass of wine with dinner. Not much but I think right now feeling the return of lyme I must be very, very careful! Also the sluggishness feeds on itself as I become less active. So thanks for reminding me!

And Achieving Grace, I am working on establishing community out here. I am hoping the family unraveling is temporary - though ill timed when I need them. They don't live out here anyway so I will build up a support network out here - and not moan and groan (with good reason) at the upheaval in my life. I don't like tra-la positive thinking, but I do need to grab ahold of some "meaning". So wise words, indeed. It is hard when I know I am not myself. I was always someone who could meet people easily. But there is a kind of sluggish energy about me which I know is not appealing.

I will keep up the battle, however. I wrote the forum because i felt like just giving in and letting the lyme take over... You all know those moods. So, already some really good counsel... I am listening! So more would be appreciated. In the meantime, I will reread "So you are new to lyme..." Lots to recall about detoxing, etc.

I do wonder where I can get that test. I will start some research.

Jen -
I have the great advantage of my years - knowing how life turns in unexpected ways just when you are sure it can't.
Being alone is so painful and I am sorry for that pain in anyone at 26 or 90. Whether or not it is lyme, it is very, very difficult.
I had a little rest today - and out of nowhere got such support and encouragement. Unexpected and just lovely. I think that hope because I can look at other dark periods and know I traveled through, is helpful. And so I send that hope to you.
That must be so painful to be ignored by your dad. Just painful regardless of whatever reasons he gives. Have a good night's sleep and take care.

Thanks, Denise, and others who read or comment -
I was on the forum almost a year ago and used to get so upset with your entries which I felt had no scientific foundation.
Now, though I am still resistant to some of your remedies, I find myself very open to the most important parts of what you write - and that is that a very, very important part of this is the detox process. I don't want to get into the antibiotic/natural debate because I feel that there are good arguments for both processes. What I do feel right now, sensing my own body and this resurge of lyme (or I think that is what it is), is that I must do some serious detoxing. I can sense it in my being - and even see it in the color and texture of my skin. I can literally feel the sluggishness of my blood.

What is important is that I start whatever detoxing slowly. I just walk away if it gets too complicated as I did at the end of my last treatment. My plan is to start with the most basic elements what I eat and how I move. I am going to sit down this morning and based on all you and others said a while back, based on the "Welcome to the Forum" Lyme information, and based on body intuition create a very simple regime for myself. No pills. No supplements. Fortunately, I have had a really fruitful harvest from my organic garden (which makes me feel so pleased!) I need to eliminate certain foods and that gets more complicated as I have used foods to energize or comfort me the last half year. This will not be a cure but it will be to clean out my body and get as healthy as I can before I figure out the next step.

The next part of my plan will be as simple as drinking water. I need to create a disciplined plan because for some reason I don't feel thirsty in a normal way right now. That is a simple, basic detox and I will add lemon which I learned in yoga so long ago.

As for my movement, I did yoga regularly - even studied in India - 15 years ago. I have the basic books and will start with the basic poses which my body will remember. In addition, though I take long walks on my land, I need to take longer brisk walks.

I have no doubt that my body has toxins but I will first try to remove them gently. Right now I don't want to return to antibiotics - though I feel that they helped quell the rapid progress of lyme. I am very, very strict about not adding anything chemical to my land and I personally feel that antibiotics, while very helpful, destroy good bacteria - even with probiotics. I am also concerned about the so called super bugs which develop a resistance to antibiotics. That does not mean that I do not feel they are necessary for many - even most - with lyme. Right now, however, I don't want to contribute to the planetary implications but if I were much younger and had my long life ahead of me, I would continue the antibiotics to be sure I freed myself of the disease. For me, at this stage, knowing that lyme multiplies slowly, I figure having a very, very healthy body might keep the growth in check. And, it is very important, that I was on antibiotics for 6 months. Please, please don't let this start the antibiotic vs natural discussion. Both are important. I am simply making a personal choice right now.

Once I get myself a little more in balance, I will take the next step - add acupuncture which will mean having to drive out of town - which I really do not like to do. I will need to figure out just how to do that without that 7 hour drive I had earlier! I will ask for referrals for my area in a couple of months.

I am also forcing myself to be more active in the outer world. I feel great, great nourishment in my land. I live out in the country and my land is beautiful, subtle and healing. I also need people. It is easy when not feeling well to lose important support as Deejavu and Jen powerfully write. I look at the conflict with my children which is precisely timed with the start of the active symptoms of lyme. Because the lab tests in my case were so positive, I have the peculiar good fortune of knowing that lyme was not imagined. I changed. I lost vitality. My thinking is sometimes foggy, etc. I am fortunately not in pain. Just the constant low grade fluish feeling, mild muscle and joint aches, etc. And real personality changes.

Yesterday, I was warmly received when I went back out to some small groups. It made me feel wonderful and embraced. I add that to my detox processes. It is very, very hard because lyme really does influence how we think.
Again, it is so hard because having had such a vital personality all my life, I am now simply slowed down. One son, when he visited recently said that I was like faced colors and I knew what he meant. So the feedback socially is not the same. And the depression which comes with lyme is hard to be around. So, I select times to go out when I happen to feel more in charge of hiding some of that darkness.

In any case, this is way too long. Deejavu, I so pleased to read that you have passed through that Dark Night of the Soul. I also have my dogs for comfort and joy - In fact, all the creatures. I even have a large eagle which soars my land and settles now and then on a close tree for me to get a good look. And all the small furry creatures which I hear gurgling about - especially at night. We become a close family - part of the larger patterns of balance (or imbalance).

On we go. I send much support to those struggling with lyme and if it is not lyme after all, with whatever symptoms are akin to lyme. Suffering is suffering. I know that life moves this way and that... and right now I have a plan to get my body detoxed and in balance - as much as possible. I will let you know my specific plan and then write perhaps weekly of my progress.

As an aside, I just got a wasp sting a couple of days ago. I rubbed natural plants which grow on my land on it, fixed a meal with lots of tumeric (antiinflammatory) and had several cups of nettle tea. It worked very well but today I note that it is large, hot, red and spreading. Does lyme intensify the reactions of stinging insects? It's not awful just very, very large, hot, swollen and red. I think that's just normal.