Don't know either what to use... tried a lot of herbal stuff like Valerian (doesn't work for me), herb based supplements to restore the natural sleeping cycle (cost a lot, but didn't do anything).
Passiflora incarnata worked very well to get calm and get rid of the anxiety attacks and hyperventilation, I used it a long time, doesn't have an effect on driving, doesn't 'put' you 'down'.
Other mixes can sometimes get me agitated too.
Best results until now are with muscle relaxants. I don't dare to use strong sleeping medication because of the danger of getting dependant... But I know one day will come, cause my sleeping abilities are going down, down, down...