This is one unsexy disease

I have been with my husband for almost 20 years, and I can tell you personally this disease has taking its toll on both of us. In saying that I do believe it has also brought us closer together. He doesn't complain if I am to sick to cook or clean something.

Before I was sick, I was in accounting, and making really good money. I lost all of that for now due to the Lyme, even losing my driving ability thanks to this terrible disease. I do believe if two people care about each other they can get through anything, even this.

We lose so much to this disease, I think you should enjoy the new relationship. You will need someone there for you, rather it be family, or a friend , the more support you have the better.

I feel bad for my husband, that I have became this sick person. I used to do so much, and now I rarely leave the house, but I do believe its just a bump in the road, and we will get through it, and I will get better.
Best of luck to you and whatever you decide to do.

justme

What's that 'sexy'??  - lol

It's not as if he doesn't know what's going on, you're not hiding it. I would say: go for it! The positive energy of falling in love will do you good. This disease may also make your relationship stronger?

I've been married for almost 10 years - it's a challenge, for both him and me. We met when I was already sick. So I could say that he doesn't know any better - lol. He's staying for now, so imagine how great I could be if I weren't ill    - rofl

He almost does the entire household now, not always the way I want it to be done, but I stopped picking on that.

We do our best though to talk about it. I've noticed that I've been hiding a lot of symptoms for him. We went out for dinner on Saturday, and we were talking about how to proceed treatment. He was asking me what I felt besides being tired, if stopping treatment was an option cause it's only making me worse.

First I was shocked, then I realized that I haven't been very clear about it. Ok, I complain that I'm tired, that my joints and muscles ache, that I have a headache - but he never 'got' the intensity and the continuous nature of my pains and discomfort. I never told him the long list of neurological complaints I have, I've been hiding it to drs because they were saying it's all in my head, so that's what I did with him too. He knows less than some of my friends.

I have even told my husband that if he wants to step out of it cause it's taking too long, that I wouldn't blame him. He's 42, I'm almost 34, we don't have children - I don't want to stop him leading a normal life and having children now. He told me I was completely nuts.

He's not always that supportive, but all in all, it could be worse - lol.

 

you're making me laugh out loud nspeedracer 

All of my nice clothes stay in the closet, no heels, no make-up, no nice hairdo's, at home old sweatshirts and sweatpants or pajamas, husband's sweatshirts and pants (more comfortable, because of weight gain - lol) with ski socks, etc.... doing coffee enemas... rofl

But husband doesn't mind at all!!! He even joins in.

I try to shave my leggs though, waxing hurts too much.

Then, when people see me they say: Ooooh you look good though, better than last time - yeah right... then I think: must have looked amazing last time...

magara,
I think you must go for it and not think twice! Isn't it true that a high percentage of folks with chronic illness were over-achievers and caretakers? I think it's possible that when we're in a situation where we can't give 100% of our energy to the other person, we wonder about our value. I am dating again... And I think the lyme almost serves to protect me from getting into another relationship where my needs disappear. I bet you have so much to offer, and if your friend is interested in you right now it's a good sign, means he's caring and can handle stuff. And... EVERYBODY's got something, you know?

Marie,
ha ha!!! Yes, it is when I'm doing coffee enemas that I reflect on just how sexy I've become.

Justme,

I'm just going to jump in on your skin problem. Try to use non perfumed natural products for moisturizing:

pure unrefined (be sure about this) sheabutter (skin absorbes it entirely, it gives instant relief if your skin feels uncomfortable) is THE best!

Marie

I can add to this with my husband married me without knowing what I'd be like 'healthy' 13 years ago. I have to admit that once in a while I wonder if he will even like the 'healed' me! So far so good though!! LOL!

Megara, if he is interested in you, then chances are he can "see" past your illness - those types of men actually exist!! LOL!! I married one!

I would suggest that once you are far enough along in the relationship (& only you will know when that is), that you have him read through a wonderful site set up for spouses, but meant for anyone with a loved one who is going through all of this. It's www.lymespouse.org/. I went through the site reading what info they were putting out and it seemed to be all good then. It may help him understand a lot of what's happening to you.

Also for an good explanation on how our energy has it's ups and downs, I would suggest sharing 'The spoon theory'. It was written by a gal with Lupus, but describes us as well:
www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/