My son hates me for having Lyme's?

I have an 18 year old son who according to most everyone I talk to is an awesome person. I used to think so too. I raised him alone because we lost his Dad when he was a baby. He was my baby that changed my life...my everything, we were so close because it was just the two of us all those years, and yeh there were some bumpy times (I was having lots of mood swings and they kept giving me weird brain drugs) but we made it. Ever since I have been sick my son treats me horribly....he says things that cut me to the quick. He told me today he cannot look at me the way most kids look at a parent and that is our problem. He never offers to help, asks how I am or anything. He has seen me go through all these horrible CNS stuff over the past year.. He takes shots at me randomly about not ever knowing when he is going to get dinner (he is still in high school and works) or the way I talk to him etc etc...

He's not on drugs, doesn't drink....just very angry towards me. :(

This morning he told me he doesn't even look at me as his parent. He knows things are getting ready to get major afa me doing less. I go get my PICC line next week.

My son...who I raised to be a sweet loving human being is nice to everyone but his Mom. I know it is an age thing...he doesn't want to deal with me he wants to have fun...I was really strict with him...yanno and once I got sick he has had more freedom due to that and his age. People tell me he is probably scared, but I think it is just cruelty and nothing else. I completely have this feeling that inside his heart he wants it to end. He wants to get rid of me finally however that comes about.

It hurts so bad. Has anyone experienced this with their children? He did counselling for 3 months in the middle of this. I am just a mess I cannot quit crying, I don't fit in anywhere...not even here...and I am just so lucky that I have my BF or I would give up. Yeh I know...I am sorry I should not say that but all day long I have been asking myself questions like why and what is my purpose if I am not loved by the one soul I love more than anyone? Truthfully in between the sadness I am experiencing total rage about it.

Baing rejected by my son in the worst time of my life is worse than Lyme disease.

I hope this post is ok as I know it isn't much to do with lyme symptoms or cures....but who else can I tell?

Thank you if you made it this far.

i agree with lymebabe. since it wasnt too long ago for me, it seems to be more of a stage.

The transition from leaving high school, you want to be free, some selfishness you can say? In my eyes at this age you are still a kid and he still has some growing up to do.

He will learn! I did. My brother who is a year younger then me still unfortunately has not. (I believe he has had an imbalance in his brain since a child but never wanted to take anything for it. he has a bad temper)

Oh Humboldtgirl, I wish I could give you a big hug! I agree, it's definitely an age/stage thing. He's teetering on the edge if adulthood and it's probably a scary feeling for him. Keep posting, okay? We are here for you.

Humboldthgirl, I have a 19 year old boy and he behaves the same way. Just be strong and don't give him an inch. He will thank you for it later in life.

He is lucky to have a mom who dedicated her life as a single mom to give him shelter, food, and unconditional love. One day he will grow up and will see that his mom is worth her weight in gold.

Thank you so much everyone you are making me feel better...like I can breathe through my nose again and everything cuz I kinda stopped crying.

He came in here tonight and I talked with him and he is trying to act like I am losing my mind. Freaking over nothing.

It might be fear because one thing I do notice is since I have become sick he always has to have someone here. It was never that way before. It's embarrassing to me to have these kids see me this way.

He gives me a hard time for not working....I dunno I think that he really used to think I was cool because I am his Mom, an electrician, taught him to do all the outdoors stuff, rode a bike...like he looked up to me and now I just disappoint him cuz i never leave the house.

I think I am going through some heavy duty head trippin' too. I am skeered over the PICC line. Plus cpl new herbs I am taking now, maybe.

It is definitely true that this behavior cannot be allowed to keep going I told him he would have to move out if he didn't respect the fact that I am ill and he straightened up for a while....but now here we are. But you know I never do give him much of an inch I make him walk a line and I think maybe it was over board (I was a bad kid..so yeh, I'm strict).

Lymebabe you are totally right about the separation time I have wondered about that, especially since we were so close.

Healing98 (sry lol I put HealingMess) thank you. You are awesome. I am sorry that you are dealing with some of this too.

You guys are all wonderful. I think I might sleep tonight. My heart rate has went down!!

Post Edited (Humboldtgrl) : 1/13/2014 10:17:11 PM (GMT-7)

I am so sorry that you are going through this, Humboldtgrl. I do agree with what everyone here is saying.....and of course you can post about this here!! That's part of the 'support' part!!!

Somehow I was blessed with children that didn't have such a hard time with the separation, but as a kid, I sure didn't go quietly!! I would have given my Mom a really hard time had there been 'ammo' of her being ill on top of everything else!! I was the rebellious one, and we were too much alike, although now, we are really good friends.

Hang in there, and keep posting!!!!