Posted 6/3/2014 10:03 AM (GMT -5)
Binduspire,
I hear you, and I hear how you are suffering from your pain, the frustration, confusion, and loss. IGenex is not a hoax, although I too go through this questioning, back and forth. Try to remember this lab has the best testing at this point in time. Please try to rest in that fact, and if you have a positive from there, PLUS all the symptoms…. Unfortunately the dots add up. BUT, if we know, then we have that to work with, even though we keep hitting walls. It’s better to know, then to be back at square one trying to figure out the nightmare. You know, one down.
I had the dizziness/boat-rocking for a while, a few years ago, long before I knew this was L/co, had lots of testing with lots of specialists, and found nothing. It went away, and it could go away for you just as fast. Hang in there. You feel like you’re losing your mind, but if you’re still thinking about what’s going on in an understandable thought process, so far so good. You’re still here and hanging in there. Great sign! This crap is enough to feel we are losing our mind. That’s normal, unfortunately. I despise going through this period, and I’ve been through it a few times over the years. Now, I write to this group. My God, they get me through. I pray we are helping you get through it, too. Lean on us. Please.
At the depths of our suffering we think at times that dying might be better, but not for those we leave behind. If we do this at our own hand, we add to their struggles. Listen to your heart. You are your son’s ONLY mom; EVER. One mom. That’s you. You have so much, like Mother’s Love, to offer your son that no one else has to offer him, even while you are suffering and being different than before in his life. Even with the loss of so much, you have so much to give to him, and more importantly, all that your son has to offer to YOU! Please think about his love for you. Don’t deny him his gift of love and his need to give it to you.
If your Mom, and every other person, says things about you, your feelings, your treatment, and they DON’T HAVE LYME, please take that fact to heart. NO ONE knows what you are dealing with and having to suffer DAILY, unless they have this, too. It’s impossible for them to get it. This is such crazy, insane, totally science fiction stuff, and only if you have it can you get it and can understand. Plus, I’m so sorry you are also having to struggle against all the false propaganda that people (mom) thinks is correct, not knowing that going to certain Dr’s and treatment, we would only be causing us (the person who is so ill) more stress, pain, rejection, and feelings that we don’t matter. Please follow your gut, and know that you do know what is best for YOU. I, and so many of us here, understand this part of the struggle very well. We stand beside you, and support your knowing yourself.
I’m also heartbroken hearing where you are with this suffering. Loss is daily for us. I am blessed to know you are at your folk’s. Please, if at all possible, talk to anyone who will listen, don’t make any big, life decisions, and try to ride this out. The crying and despair will pass, regardless of where/why it’s happening. Every moment passes, and so will all of this. Please, reach out to others, me included, because there are many who care about YOU, RIGHT NOW. And, please know that many, many are offering up urgent, true concern thoughts and prayers on your behalf.
YOU ARE THAT IMPORTANT!!
You ARE important and needed; the one who is underneath all the pain and suffering.
The you that is still YOU.