I kind of freaked out last night :(

Sorry to hear that. My wife doesn't understand what I'm going through and doesn't want to hear about it, although she has been supportive in my seeking the treatment I need. Your fiancee should be more

supportive, but he probably feels like he does have to leave to go to work every day, not for himself or his career or the people he goes out to see, but for the financial support of the people he does care most about-

you and your son. You really do need to let him know how you're feeling though, or no progress will be made and you'll just feel worse. Hope you feel better soon and everything works out for you and yours.

Thanks guys. We talk plenty and are hot very honest. I'll spew out 5 sentences and he will have no reply. Ever. To anything. No emotional reaction whatsoever. He's always been like that.

And yes forgetting our son in the bathtub and going to work is just crazy. There is absolutely no excuse for him not even thinking to tell me he was leaving. I know we need money. Honestly we are pretty well off. We could take a month long vacation or buy a bran new car or do pretty much anything else we would want to. We are lucky right now. We've had times where we didn't have money at all and couldn't pay our bills just 3 months ago.

What urks me is when I ask for help and I don't get it. He should just say no instead of leading me on to be dissapointed. That's what my issue is. I don't want him to forget about us all the time. We made a deal that we get 3 or 4 hours a week of his undivided attention. An hour every other day or so. Where he doesn't leave, doesn't take work calls...etc. I don't think that's too much to adk. I've been living on the sidelines while he fulfills his dreams for years. I'm really proud of what he has accomplished and built for our family. Our son will have a legacy left to him and that's worth a lot more than money.

Honestly it's the little things. Rinse the dishes for me if he notices my hands are swollen and bleeding. Talk me about how scared I am. Help me bathe our son at night once per week or so. Go to bed at the same time as us so we can see eachother. I want a companion, not this workaholic crazy madman. That's all fine too at times. Like I said everyone likes money. But it's just those little things. I needed him to know that I'm missing him and I'm struggling. I needed him to know I need his help to hold my hand and walk me through this a little bit here and there.

I love the guy dearly. But I can't live in the same house as someone and barely talk to them even. I need to be a priority to him too. Work isn't everything. And a few hours a week is not too much to ask for.

Some guys have a hard time dealing with negative things and can't talk about it and like Cairn said, they are wired differently. He may feel that the best thing he can do is provide an income. Is he new to the job? If he is, he may need to prove himself worthy of the job. It sounds like he can't go home and leave the job behind until the next day, so that puts more pressure on him and on you too.

Maybe if you wrote down your thoughts for him to read would help, as long as you point out some of the things you appreciate about him in addition to telling him your needs. Couple counseling helps some people.

Leaving your son in the bath makes it seem that he's got so much going on with his job that he can't think about other things. I hope he learned from that mistake. I'm glad you were near enough to hear your son.

Someone in my area (I think) left their baby in the car on a sunny day and the baby died from the heat. There was a change in his and his wifes routine. She normally took their child to day care, but he had to do it that day and he did other things on the way to work and just forgot about the baby in the car. It's sad that people have gotten so much busier these days that they can't step out of their routine.

I hope the 2 of you can work it out. Chronic illness can be hard on couples. My poor hubby is on his second round with me being ill, although this time it's much easier since I'm not nearly as sick as I was before.

Hi guys,

We can't give all men a bad rap; some guys are more nurturing than others.

IHL, based on what you're saying, that's why my ex bf is an ex.

Have you had a "heart to heart" talk with him about all this?

Has he been to your LLMD appointments with you?

Whenever I go to significant doctor's appointments, I've noticed that wives bring their husbands, and vice versa.

Good luck,

Margaret