How is Lyme affecting your Christmas?

How is your Christmas spirit? Mine not so good. First of all, this is my second Christmas with Lyme. last Christmas I was hoping that by now I would be cured and living the normal life that I had once upon a time.

My house is one of the few that is not lit up with lights. It used to be one of the nicest. But who has the energy nowadays? I had to get on a ladder the other day because some shingles came loose and I almost fell off of it from my dizziness. I can't be putting up any lights.

My wife and kids did put up the Xmas tree to cheer me up and it does look nice, but at the same time it reminds me of how much fun it used to be to look forward for the holidays when family that you haven't seen in a while would come to visit, see how big their kids have gotten, and of course, looking forward to all that delicious food.

But now? I can't eat most of that stuff, I can't handle large crowds, don't have any money for gifts, and I don't know if it is the season change or the thinking of Christmas that makes me depressed.

I never thought that I would say this but I wish the Holiday season was over with.

How are you dealing with Christmas and the Holidays?

Healing98--

I'm sorry you're bummed. I understand...and it's especially hard during the holidays when you're supposed to be happy. How long were you sick before you knew you had Lyme?

Last year I was really sick during the holidays, but had no idea what was wrong with me. I was still in the phase of seeing doctors who didn't care, having tests that showed I was perfectly fine, bla bla bla. It was so depressing and my anxiety was through the roof because I KNEW something was wrong with my body.

Now this year for the holidays, I am still definitely sick, but I know I have Lyme. It's a much different feeling knowing what you have than having no idea and being scared wondering what it could be. For me it's actually better knowing I have Lyme than not knowing (in a twisted way).

Just wondering if thinking about that perspective could help you at all?

So sorry to know you're feeling this way, Healing! It's most certainly understandable.

Big hugs coming your way!!

I feel your pain, I have a three year old, recently diagnosed with lyme... trying to get off the couch and out of bed to do "holiday" things... focusing on taking mytime and nursing myself back to health, as well as trying to get into the holiday spirit is helping a little! Good luck and Merry Christmas everyone!

I know what you mean. I've been ill the last 6 yrs. really bad the last 4. I just can't imagine how I used to do what I did, so effortlessly. I used to decorate the whole house (multiple trees), bake dozens of cookies, throw Christmas parties, meticulously wrap gifts, and on and on.

Now.......all I can do is rest on the sofa all day. For me, a good day is IF I can do a load of laundry. I have no Christmas spirit. I feel lifeless. Everything seems like such a burden. I do a good job at faking it. You would never know how sick I am.

Awesome post P!

Thank you sooooo much!

This sounds silly, but I really miss alcohol. Its a big part of celebrating the holidays for me. I dont want to paint myself as some kind of alcoholic, but I love cider over christmas and champagne on new years eve.

IHL, that's exactly what I made for the first time yesterday! Almond milk, some dark chocolate, creamy thick coconut milk, some real vanilla and on the stove! It was delicious.

How do I handle Christmas?
I don't stress about it and avoid all possible stress approaching me. We don't invite people, we let people invite us
I offer to make dessert: I search through the internet looking for casseine, egg free desserts with low sugar because my sister has severe food allergies. I cook something new that she can enjoy and that the others like as well.

New Year's Eve?
I do logistics from my sofa: I look for a party place for our bunch of friends, coordinate and the others are happy they don't have to do the boring practical stuff. Tomorrow there's a meeting with a few of the women at my place to decide about the food. And that'll be my participation. Everybody happy.

It might seem very cold and practical, but I set my limits cause I have no reserve left. The people around me know it and appreciate my effort (that is not wearing me out).I don't care about the ones that do not understand. Those are often the ones that never do anything but eat and drink.
I have been crossing my limits so many times before (like cooking 4courses for 60 people all by myself), i learned my lesson.
I'll be thankful if this year I can make it through these nights just sitting on my chair.
Last year, I spent New Year's Eve at home with hubby and 2delicious lobsters. It was great. I listen to what my body is telling me...

It doesn't really bother me that much any more. I just get a tiny tree.

What does bother me is the last minute rush, and the present thing. Every year, I decide to make my own presents, then every year, I never get around to it.

Last year, I was super sore just from having decorated my small tree.

Whatever you do, don't get the Lowes "potted plant" tree. It is sprayed with a glittery green substance that not only kills the "plant," but also did a job on me!

I live in Christmas tree country; there are tons of Christmas tree farms around here, but none are organic. I've had friends who had a really hard time with just having the tree in the living room.

I don't know if it's from mold or from pesticides.

Margaret

I really love this thread. It might be my favorite. Healing98.. you hit the nail on the head. It couldn't have been better said.

This is a great group of people. I'm thankful for every single one of you. I'm so glad I stopped lurking and started participating!

Thank you Traveler for your last post. You always open your mind and wisdom to the rest of us and now that you have opened your heart to us as well, well.... now we have the entire Traveler and she is beautiful.

I heard a quote yesterday while watching Criminal Minds that I wish to share with all of you:

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."

So who here is beautiful and with out a scar? Not me for sure. I have physical and emotional scars that make me unique. My life is crazy, encrusted with pain and worries, yet here I am trying to make the best of it. We just have to find something each day that makes us want to continue to move forward. This can be a significant other, our stubbornness, our love for others, or simply the cheer will to live and not let the bacteria win.

So Traveler, maybe for you it is the hope that 2012-2013 can be repeated. I know that you have a daughter. Maybe your future has you sitting in front of your house watching a bunch of kids playing with goats, pulling their hair, trying to get on top of them while you and your hubby sit there enjoying it all while drinking some home made kefir. Who knows, right?

I too have spent most of my life with Lyme. 25 of my almost 50 years. I still remember all the things I could do that I haven't been able to do for quite some time now. It's lonely being sick ,lost friends and family.

Christmas was my very favorite time of year. I've collected Christmas ornaments since I was a kid. I need two trees to hold them all. It kills me to not be able to do all the things I used to. I us to bake and cook for days. I still decorate but it takes me forever to get done and need a lot of help to get done . I don't cook or bake anymore. Can't eat anything. been on this diet for over a year .(did go off a couple of times but got sick and went back to it) We go out to eat when we can afford to and my Husband does a lot of the cooking now. It all makes me really sad.

we try to make the best of it and do what we can to make things as normal as possible. My family hates seeing me sick It's really getting hard for them the longer it goes on. I feel like I'm messing up their lives so much.

I would love to see a recipe thread . I've lost so much weight and am sick of eating the same stuff all the time . I would really like some recipes that don't take too much work and are as simple as possible. Breakfast is the hardest for me , really miss bread ,used to get a bagel or English muffin or a muffin in the morning now all that is out . Cereal was out too. sick of eggs. doesn't leave much.

Ya know.....I subscribed to this thread because it really touched my heart and soul. Thank you, Healing, for starting it.

I'm pretty new to Lyme but can already relate to many of the feelings shared on here. In fact, I'm so new that I didn't feel comfortable sharing at first but that changed this morning when I came here.

Lyme is a very lonely thing to deal with. My husband hears much of what it's like for me but I can tell he's already tired of hearing about it....and that's understandable. There's so much life to be lived and I want to enjoy my life - it's hard when symptoms distract us.

I don't share much with my kids because I don't want to worry them but I do share some stuff so they'll hopefully understand why I'm not doing all that I used to do.

I don't share anything with my mother who was my rock through all of my life challenges. Reason being: she's struggling so very much since the two strokes she had in 2012.

Bottom line, I realized I don't have any Christmas spirit. In fact, I almost feel apathetic about it which, in some warped way, feels OK to me. Somehow, life has been feeling surreal to me....not sure if it's because my "baby" will be off to college next year or if the Lyme is causing this or what. It is what it is and I somehow don't feel regretful about it.

I, too, was one to decorate extensively....a touch of Christmas in every room. I baked easily 12 different types of cookies and made trays for people. And, I baked 3 different kinds of muffins to serve as part of our annual Christmas Eve brunch.

The big tree became part of the past either last year or the year before....not because I was affected by Lyme but because I felt the work involved just didn't justify the small benefit for me - especially since life was so very hectic after my mother's strokes in 2012. No one in my family likes to hang lights and no one is interested in hanging ornaments. I have this 40" tall, slim artificial tree that is part of my regular decor...it now has mini lights on it (that I never took off lol) and I hang my small ornaments on it.

The 10" of snow we got the day before Thanksgiving somehow squelched what I considered my opportunity to put the small lighted snowman out in the yard along with the string of lights I hang on my outdoor baker's rack that is visible through the kitchen window. (hubby hasn't been interested in hanging lights since before I met him lol)

My sisters keep texting pics of their Christmas decor and, most recently, their fully decorated live trees. I don't even care....as horrible as that sounds.

My autumn wreath is still on the front door lol

I expect to feel a bit of Christmas spirit today because this is the day my very immediate family and I travel to my mother's assisted living facility for our Christmas celebration with her. The place is always beautifully decorated and the staff wonderful.

My mother fully enjoys the visit - especially with the addition of my darling granddaughter who is now 18 months old. I've tried to help my mother carry on her tradition of small gift bags for everyone and I'm basically her elf. She has been quite worried this year since her memory is pretty much gone and, last night, she was upset at the thought of not having gifts for anyone....I spent much time comforting her and reminding her that everything had been taken care of.

It's been hard being there for her as I struggle with Lyme but I feel it's a gift since it's enriched our relationship....and that's what I've been focusing on this season.

I've been blessed with a wonderful family...a very supportive husband and 3 loving sons - 2 with loving mates. My granddaughter just started addressing me by "name". Even though everyone has been referring to me as "grandma", I am "mema" to my granddaughter. She runs to me for a hug with a big smile on her face calling out "mema, mema". It doesn't get any better than that :)

So, instead of the glitz and glimmer, I'm focusing on warmth and love....and it feels really good (and somewhat liberating, actually ;)

And, I must say that I'm finding the people on this forum to be some of the most genuine, caring people who have ever crossed my path. It's amazingly wonderful.

Merry Christmas everyone! May 2015 be the turning point for all of us.

Post Edited (cd3764) : 12/7/2014 5:52:19 AM (GMT-7)