Oy Vey - Back To The Drawing Board - Depressing Rant

Been a while since I've posted. Hope everyone is staying strong. Sorry for the long post. If your not up for a depressing rant, I would move to the next post. In a dark place. Don't feel like conversing with people. Just want to vent ambiguously and keep my strong face on so my loved ones don't worry more than they already do.

This last December, after 2, going on 3 years of ABX treatment, I was feeling so good. I considered myself at about 70% back to normal. I was able to participate in family events , started walking a few times a day, occasionally even jumping back on my bike. I had started talking to my LLMD about an ABX exit strategy. Then........Bam, right after New Years I found a tick behind my ear.

Found myself in the ER a few weeks after with severe head pressure/headaches. They said I had all the symptoms of meningitis. Been down this road before so I opted out of the recommended spinal tap with the promise to see my GP the next day for a follow up appointment. Got to my GP and he did the same workup and told me I needed the spinal tap. I again opted out.

Next day I got a call from my GP saying I had to go get the tap done or they would stop seeing me and take measures to turn me in to children and youth for endangering my child by possibly exposing her to bacterial meningitis. Not wanting any part of that fight, I caved and went to have the procedure done. As expected, no viral meningitis, test showed an infection, but in the end was inconclusive.

The following week, I came to in the middle of the night on a few occasions to my wife yelling at me. After I gained clarity, I realized she was not mad, but in hysterics. Evidently I had started having seizures. Called my LLMD the next day, he made an appointment the following day and told me to head to the ER right away to rule out anything serious. ER doc saw me for 10 minutes, did a CT scan, and told me to follow up with my GP for the results.

My LLMD was up to speed on the new bite so he did a new exam and is confident that I was reinfected with at least Babesia and probably Bart. A whole fricken two years of treatment down the tubes because of another friggin tick bite. Needless to say, I am broken. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to read about Lyme, don't want to talk with the folks I had been trying to keep in good spirits that have lyme, I just want to crawl in a hole and be left to my own devices.

Had to go to my GP to get blood work results. After getting through what felt like very forced niceties, he looked me straight in the eye and told me that he didn't believe I had lyme and that my medications were causing my seizures. The same meds I have been on for two + years. I asked him if it's not Lyme, what is it. He bluntly told me he doesn't know, but it's not Lyme. He told me I was no longer allowed to drive because I had more than 3 seizures, stood up, left, and never said another thing. Yesterday I received notice that he will no longer treat me. This is the second GP that gave me the boot in 3 years.

The crippling head aches continue, the seizures still happen, I haven't slept more than two hours at a time for a month, anxiety and panic attacks a plenty, and tons of symptoms I had put in my rear view mirror are coming screaming back. I am so tired....so depressed....so inside my own head that I just am struggling with finding the strength to do this again. I know my God will not lay more on me than I can handle but I have to tell ya, I don't know what he is seeing because I am on empty......So, here I am. Back on the same protocol I was 3 years ago, with all the same symptoms plus seizures.

If the old saying is true, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I will be lifting semi trucks when this is all said and done.

Sorry for the downer post.

I am hoping it doesn't last long Girlie. Just going back into the sleepless nights, anxiety, and panic attack routine for the minimum 4 months it takes to treat babs seems like the equivalent of climbing Everest. I've never treated bart, not sure what kind of timelines I'm looking at there.

Right now, I'm not taking anything fr the seizures. Oddly enough, 90 % percent hit when I'm sleeping.

I am a huge advocate of medical MJ. When I lived in a cannibis friendly state, I found a lot of relief. I was not taking the top dose of my tramadol every day. My panic attacks were reduced drastically, and overall, it was much easier to keep a positive outlook on life without all the antidepressants
I see in my near future again.

I tried both CBD and FECO and the FECO was the only form that gave relief. After reading about CBD it seems the further the research goes, the more it seems to say that it's the whole plant that benifits you, not just the CBD from hemp, and thats not even touching on some of the shady harvesting they are doing from leftover industrial hemp that can contain more chemicals to hurt you than fix you. If my state ever goes to medical acceptability, I will be back on it. For now, I'm just powering through.

Thanks for the reply Girlie. I hope you have been feeling better.

FECO = full extract cannabis oil which uses the full plant and includes THC. You need a licence to get it legally. If you ever do and you want an extremely easy recipe to make it at home from bud, give a shout, I have a few. Only requires coconut oil, a casserole dish, an oven, and a freezer.

Just be sure you know where your CBD is sourced from. I have heard from tons of people that say it's helped immensely, it just didn't seem to do much for me. Were all different though. Certainly a safe thing to give a go. If your getting it from a reputable dispensary and not amazon or the like, it's a lot easier to have confidence it's being made properly/locally, but I would certainly ask.

"Our CBD Hemp oil is made in Canada & tested regularly too ensure proper & accurate numbers in every dosage"

Looks good Girlie!

If you ever want to get into the ionfo deeper, look up lyme disease - treating with CANNABIS on facebook. Great group. Very versed in the good and the bad of a lot of these products and specific brands as well.

Excellent. I can't wait to see how you get along with it. Anything that can give some relief gets a big thumbs up from me

Yes, that really stinks. How awful for you! I can't imagine. Also can't imagine that you are alone what with all the infected ticks out there. People are going to have to live in a high rise and never leave to be safe from these blood suckers. God Bless and keep you.