I can't do it anymore (trigger warning: dark thoughts here)

Are you/have you treated bartonella? Very common symptom is pain at the bottom of the feet.

Evian - I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.

The fact that you experienced improvements initially - that's a good thing. You need to continue to treat.
Did you address the co-infections...or just do the lyme core protocol?
You know that we usually (if not always) have a co-infection...maybe more than one.

You were seeing a new ND....how is that going?

You need to keep fighting...for yourself and your family. I know it's hard...day after day...dealing with this...but it will get better...it is often a very slow path to wellness...but we're going to get there..one day at a time.

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain, physically and emotionally. I'm learning that this disease is such a process. There are those dark days that just seem endless; then there are days that don't seem so bad. I'd like to just have one day where I don't have to think about Lyme but it's impossible. I'm waiting for test results, have to put a schedule together for work based on how I feel, looking at finances, trying to find a new LLMD....AHHHHHH!

I try to just find time to make myself feel better. The only thing that does is being with my dog or watching animal videos on youtube (while I'm at work). I'm trying to accept the fact that it is a marathon, not a sprint.

I wish I knew what else to say. Sending you happy thoughts and healing prayers. xo

A torture chamber is exactly how I've described the body I'm living it to others who don't understand Lyme. I'm not sure I'd still be around if I didn't have children. This really sucks and I know how you're feeling. As others have mentioned, keep trying, and try to stay positive, even though its so hard.

I have had some progress and it gives me hope ...what if...the next thing works ..treat bartonella ...you can order abx online ...also bvt is really cheap...i use bee pollen to teplace aminos ..i drag so hard ..and had a post about the morbidity of this ..i do not want to live this way..i am in treatment all the time ..so much money time hurt ..i wanna live so bad ..

Thank you everyone.

My new llnd seems nice. When I saw him he addressed some of my other issues, hormones etc.

He said keep doing my herbs till I feel like I plateaued. Trouble is the day I saw him, I had been feeling okay for a few days. So I said it was going okay. Then I crash hard for no reason.

He said they do different kinds of IV treatments, like I've chelation, high dose vitamin c, etc. However they are very costly.

I guess I could order those other herbs and try it. I'm just scared to try something else. Incase it makes it worse
Like teasel did for me, I stopped taking it a long time ago because it gave me heart palpitations and i'm still dealing with the new symptoms it brought out.

Man I get such bad depression I wonder if I should go back on my SSRI med. But I quit that a year ago because of didn't want it to interfere with all the other stuff I take.

I literally feel your struggle. No one can understand, unless going thru this living hell.

In that you have had bits of feeling ok, that is encouraging. I know it is probably the last thing you have energy for, but is there a local Lyme group you could join in hopes of getting someone to help? As you said, no one validates his horridness, which makes it even worse. So finding a health advocate, someone who understands, could help.

And maybe like blue here said, see about ordering abx cheap online? Or can your doc prescribe? If not wanting abx, try some of the other herb suggestions--tho go SLOW with all!

You are not alone in this struggle, my friend. Your daughter & family love you, too, even tho they may not understand your pain. Hugs.

I like all the suggestions for you that are on this thread.
Your feelings are perfectly understandable and very relatable for all of us with lyme. Just hang in there, its a learning curve. Don't be afraid to try new things - just start out slowly. I have had a few bad set backs too. and times when a protocol seemed to be working and then that extra benefit just inexplicably seems to taper off and I am back where I started. Lyme is one long lesson in resilience. There are still quite a few things you can add to what you are doing. What happens sometimes is that with the killing of lyme other infections can get stronger. Hitting all you can at once and taking medical mushrooms, working to reduce biofilms, detoxing may work a charm right now. We are conditioned to believe that hitting the primary infection is the whole answer and it isnt with lyme. You have to tackle it from all sides and in the long run thats the shortest route to the end.
All the best

I feel for you and remember the feelings all to well.

The piece I find nobody ever wants to do but can have the biggest bang for the buck is to
see a biological dds. Nothing got better for me for years until I addressed some big
infections in my jaw that my normal dds missed.

Once I addressed them I got 60% better two months later. Many lyme docs suggest seeing a biological dds
Just getting a check up with a biological dds is not very expensive.

Its a long journey but there is always a way out-best of luck

Also try to do muscle testing for co infections cause its free if ur nd has the machine unlike igenex.
If you miss any coinfections you will NOT RECOVER.

Wow you guys, what can I say other than you are all a HUGE part of the reason I am still here attempting to fight this fight. Thank you so much for all your words of widsom, advice, and sharing your stories. It means so much to me, and at the end of the day your compassion is what lifts my spirits. When I'm having one of the worst days it is of one of my only solaces to come speak on this forum to others who understand, all of you Lyme angels.

Huddie - I am so sorry about your Brother. I can't imagine how you must feel and how much you must miss him everyday.

Multifacted - Which confection did you treat for? You found it made quite a bit of a difference once you added them in?

Jenny - I know it is so inspiring to see those that have recovered and I know it is a long journey, but I guess it is just hard to judge when or if there has been improvements because it is always so up and down. Since I never got my fully positive igenex test I also have a doubt in the back of my mind that I have something other than lyme, then other times I am convinced it is lyme. So that merry go round doesn't help. Thank you for sharing that though that is really encouraging for me to hear. I will have to google that Documentary about the skiier too.

Magoo - Interesting about the correlation between teeth and disease. I actually got my first root canal while I have been dealing with Lyme. I know it is not infected, but I guess that is something to consider too. Do you just loose a tooth if you get rid of the root canal?

Artermix - Yes I have been on 3 caps 3 times a day. I didn't think you could take much more than that? How many do you plan to take as your max dose? And yes the hormone thing totally adds to the battle!

Scubaboy - Its funny before I got lyme, right after I had my daughter I started to become much closer to God. Then when all this happened, I continued to pray. But just until recently when I have started to feel like I can't take much more, I am constantly getting kicked while I'm down I have felt an anger and resentment towards God. Thank you for your advice. I think a counselor would be a really good idea. Hard to find the right fit. And it is also hard to get time to see one, but that is something I will consider for the future. Thank you for telling me what I needed to hear.

Artangel - Thank you! I am curious about these medical mushrooms? What are they?

pmm - Thank you for sending prayers, I send them right back to you too! xo

Thank you everyone for your advice and just being there for me. I took a break from all herbs and supplements today because I just felt like I was on overload. Is it possible to still be herxing even after being on your herbs for such a long time?

I think now that I feel a bit more grounded tonight, tomorrow I will set out to order those herbs you listed Girlie.

I will keep all of you in my prayers tonight, blessings and hugs.

With the Sida, Houtt and Hawthorne (Bartonella) - you should also keep taking the Japanese Knotweed.

On Buhner's website (I don't have the Lyme book) - he has the top dose as 1-4 caps 3-4 X daily (CC and JK)
that is for 150 lb adult. These are just recommendations.