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Through sadness can come hope and appreciation

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Posted 10/12/2016 11:28 AM (GMT -5)
A very dear friend of mine died this morning. She had cancer and wasn't yet 50 years old. I am in a state of shock and disbelief.

I am currently reading a book titled 'The Things They Carry' it is about war. One soldier wakes up, thinks about a platoon mate he lost the day before. As he is waking he feels every ache and pain in his body. He is excited by each pain. All of this tells him he is on this side of life. He is gloriously alive.

Lyme may get us down and we may have lots of aches and pains and a diminished quality of life, but let us never forget that we are on this side of life. To quote Shawshank "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

To life and the ones we love. It is all so fleeting. Love to you all. xo
Posted 10/12/2016 11:32 AM (GMT -5)
Look for the good.

Each day we are given two simple wonders - a sunrise and a sunset. When was the last time you sat and just enjoyed one?

Cherish the little stuff. Watch the leaf float to the ground as it falls off that tree.

Watch the wonderment as a child touches sand for the first time.

I love being alive, I really do. There is a kid in me that seeks each day a wonderment.
Posted 10/12/2016 11:33 AM (GMT -5)
Huddie, I am sorry about the loss of your friend...... Loss means you loved. Smile at the memories. <3 <3
Posted 10/12/2016 11:35 AM (GMT -5)
Peteza,

I'm with you. I love this life. I love the simple pleasures. I try to find them each day and I don't intend to stop (even if I need reminding of this self-promise from you guys in the future!).

Life is still beautiful and I am filled with appreciation to be on this side of it.

Have a great day my friend. xo
Posted 10/12/2016 11:38 AM (GMT -5)
Agreed on all points. I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's hard to wake up with aches and pains daily for many years, but it does tell us we are still here and have reason to fight for something better.
Posted 10/12/2016 12:16 PM (GMT -5)
Sorry for your loss, Huddie.


I know sometimes I feel like I better appreciate the life I have..because it could all be over...you never know when it's your time.

It's just so dang difficult when you're in pain....
Posted 10/12/2016 12:16 PM (GMT -5)
So sorry about your loss Huddie. May they Rest In Peace. Incidents like these and dealing with diseases make me realize how short life is. We have to be thankful and appreciate what we have
Posted 10/12/2016 12:25 PM (GMT -5)
Thank you all. Yes life is short and we must try and find the beauty and appreciation in it when we can. Signing off. xo
Posted 10/12/2016 12:51 PM (GMT -5)
Sorry you lost a friend.

I am not going to add anything else .....as my thoughts fall usually in the unpopular rants.
Posted 10/12/2016 12:59 PM (GMT -5)
Artemix,

This is a safe place to rant. If you need to do that go right ahead. You are kind and helpful to so many I can't imagine anything you say being unpopular.

Thanks for the condolences.

I'm in a pile of guilt right now. These are dear friends, my husband's best friend, best man, and just dear friends. They moved to the west coast and came to visit in July. They stopped over to stay hello before dinner - and my husband went out with them. I was to weak to go out that night. I later commented (full of self pity) "Great that my friend with cancer can go out and have fun and I don't have the energy to go to dinner." Little did I know... I wish I pushed myself that night. See, we all rant.
Posted 10/12/2016 1:26 PM (GMT -5)
You know Huddle, I do not know how close were you to your friend. Sounds like you both chatted everyday. All I know is there are a lot of good friends I do not see for a long time and have disappeared ...to me those are not good friends.
I have a friend who comes routinely at my house to vent about her health and family issues and I love it. I do the same with her. To me that is a friend there for me. I call her and I say "I want to die today because like sucks and this is not a quality of life for me"....and she replies that I am right.....and she tries to understand and tells me that she cannot believe nothing exist to fight LD.

That is a friend in my eyes. I am that kind of person who needs that support and I will give that support too. 24/7
But if I died of lyme disease complications....or my life will be shortened because of it, and people would say to me that they are sorry about my death that I was a good friend....that is all Bs to me.......becasue some of them were gone when I got sick and totally avoided me.

What I call "post mortem talk"... it makes people feel better about themselves for the time necessary to get over it. Then life continues. It is hard to be alive and see people die, but it is harder to see people alive suffering continuously and/or being unhappy.
If we cannot do anything to help that person then we are no use to a friend (or vice versa).

While death is difficult for those living, for those who died is just the end of the misery that life brought them (sometimes).

When my father got sick and later died...I was traveling back and forth from US to EU. Nobody could do anything to lessen the pain and stress. Not even spouse. At that point I was also burdened with the financial aspect of a situation like that --if you think that spending money for herbs, supplements or specialist not covered by insurance, think about having to pay for a transatlantic flight within the next hr--
No one soul came thru and donated any amount of money.....just saying that actually would have helped me... meh even $20 would have showed me they cared.
Truth is when we are n these situations, the very first thing that comes to our minds is "I am so happy it is not happening to me"....and then we are sorry by reflex. That is very normal and part of who we are as human being.
Posted 10/12/2016 1:40 PM (GMT -5)
Artemix,

I am so sorry for the loss of your father and all you have endured. I lost my father far too young as well. Life can get dark.

I agree about the friends that disappear. I'm lucky in the sense that I have two best girlfriends. We consider each other sisters and we talk about everything, the good, the bad, the ugly. I have had lots of loss and I think our culture is failing at discussing anything uncomfortable -especially death. My friends know they can discuss with me, and me with them. As for the friends and family members who don't discuss or don't show up - I think of them as new or younger souls. They just aren't evolved to do that yet. It doesn't make them bad.

I wish you a light heart today and surrounded by true friends.
Posted 10/12/2016 1:41 PM (GMT -5)
Huddie....I am so very sorry for your loss.

Please know that you are very much appreciated within this forum.


Artermix...sorry but you made me chuckle with that comment, as my entire day has been one long unpopular rant! What would we do without you? ;)
Posted 10/12/2016 1:58 PM (GMT -5)
ha ha ha.....lyme is comedy. Sometimes...LOL
Posted 10/12/2016 3:38 PM (GMT -5)
So sorry for your loss.
Posted 10/12/2016 5:02 PM (GMT -5)
Hugs, Huddie! Sorry for your loss.
Posted 10/13/2016 4:27 AM (GMT -5)
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} May the joy of your friendship and thankfulness for the time you had together hold your heart at peace in this time of sorrow. Blessings to you.
Posted 10/13/2016 7:56 AM (GMT -5)
Huddie-
I am so so very sorry about your dear friend. And put the guilt out of your mind. Thinking of you and thankful for your time with your friend. Prayers for you and a big, big hug!! <3
Artemix-
My parents have passed away so I am sorry and sad to hear about your father. It hurts so bad. And the pain doesn't really go away. It just sort of scars over. I too have "lost" most friends and family to this disease. I have come to the conclusion that they haven't been through it so they simply just don't get it. I was so bitter for so long about that. But when nothing ever changed I thought what if the shoe was on the other foot? I don't know if I would know what to do or say to someone who was chronically ill. But the blessing is, that through our suffering, maybe we can be light, joy, hope for those going through hard times. It still is really hard for me sometimes not to lose it when someone says "well you LOOK healthy, or "Are you all better now?" But I am so thankful for the firiends that do "get it". My kindred spirits. I am glad to hear you have a kindred soul. You sound very loyal. And that is the best quality to have in a friendship. Pat yourself on the back for that!! But when it's not reciprocated it is a stabbing, searing knife. Especially through LD. Loyalty can be a lonely place. But bitterness is the enemy of joy. But that's why we have each other here! To rant and vent to friends who get it and are going through the trenches with you!
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