Will people just stfu :rant warning

Just had a friend reveal to me that he's not "mad" at me but listed three times I canceled on him. I recall one where we were going to have dinner after work he has no kids or family matters to attend to so I get why he would be upset I canceled last minute my adrenals are shot I can't function without a nap and I worked late he knew that. So then he rattles off two times at work where I didn't meet him for tea or coffee those I seriously do not believer were true I think I probably flat out said I can't go but whatever
He's hilarious to say he's not mad at me when clearly he's holding a grudge he told me know he has to be more weary about making plans with me. Whatever dude you and I are not that close to eh holding grudges over petty stuff.
And then there's my own darn mother who I love but god help her. If she says one more thing about how it's all in my head and maybe it's depression and not an illness/disease. She doesn't understand lyme so she pretends like the rest of the world to be dumb and ignorant. It's ok if you're ignorant but don't tell me imnnot sick. She'll ask me hey you can eat this sugary snack and I said I can't it makes me feel sick then she will say why? I'm like because I have a disease remember? She's like why do you always say you're sick if you keep thinking that way then you'll get sick. Jesus Christ lady. I want to bop them on the head with these stupid comments. So ready to cry and rage. I hate the most that when I take the time to explain lyme to them they still say stupid shiet like this to me. It's like did you even hear what I just said? Are you a freaking doctor? Stop trying to diagnose me.20+ doctor's couldn't what makes you think you can. This is why I don't share with common folks they waste my time explaining and educating them only for them to still think what they think in the end and proceed with stupid assumptions. I can't count how many times when I tell people I can't sleep or I'm beyond tired they will tell me they don't sleep either due to apnea or that I can't keep blaming my issues on my disease. I have had this friend and others tell me that. What.THE.FOCK? Who are you to tell me how I feel? I can tell you I can't do effin cardio cuz my body literally will shut down and I've had it happen multiple times cuz I try to push myself cuz I'm tired of this extra stubborn weight on me. Do not effin tell me to stop blaming everythjng on lyme. Everythjng was destroyed in my life by Lyme. I've almost lost my job due to Lyme, I've lost hair, I've lost friends. I have lost the energy to be out and about like I used to. The nerve of some people. I've lost the ability to read books like I used to. I can barely read a paragraph without my eyes jumpinall over the place like I have ADD or dyslexia. I used to read a book a day. Now I often mistake words and have to reread because the context makes no sense. I'll see a cow jumped over the moose. Which makes me do a double take and I reread it to say moon. This happens every day several times a day. Do you know what it feels like to not know yourself or your body? To know that your brain and body no longer belongs to you and you don't recognize it physically and emotionally ?

Post Edited (lymehater) : 6/19/2017 12:22:21 PM (GMT-6)

If you're not with me, you're against me. If you can't give me your trust, saying you're my friend, or even my own flesh and bone, then what's the relationship really worth? Nothing.

It's not healthy to hold grudges; it's said that forgiveness is more for the victim than it is the offender. But, on the other hand, unless the person's truly learned their lesson and are willing to make due amends, then I'm not sure I'd be able to bring myself to truly letting it go. I'm going to remember who was there for me, who cared, who believed me.

You need friends, you need family, whether for emotional and/or financial purposes. You can't be alone, it sucks. Some of us live with family members that may not always be completely understanding. I get it.

Even so, that's my bottom line, and I think I'm better off for it. I'm not gonna feed any bonds that aren't healthy to my getting better. "Friend," cousin, mom, sister, whatever.

You can only fight so much. It's hard enough trying to treat. There are enough enemies to Lymies, without having to defend yourself against people who should be in your corner, no questions asked.

YES, there is an initial educational phase where you tell them about Lyme, overcome any doubts, etc. It shouldn't be a long-lasting, months, sort of thing. Undermining, skepticism at every turn.

I don't know, I'm quick to burn a bridge, I guess.

Ugh! How maddening! My husband and I avoided telling my inlaws about my Lyme because my father in law fancies himself an amateur doctor (didn't pass the exam to get into medical school) and loves to give health advice. It's all outdated allopathic or the funky Chinese medicine/folklore old wives' tales etc. They finally found out and told my husband that Lyme is what doctors diagnose when they can't figure out what's wrong with someone and that I should call my husband's cousin who is a rheumatologist for advice.... My wonderful husband let them know it's actually freaking hard to get a Lyme diagnosis and the fact that I react to antibiotics is a positive indicator for Lyme. If it was something else, abx would have no effect. And while I respect his cousin, she's a rheumatologist. She probably thinks I'm nuts since we all know chronic Lyme doesn't exist. Ha!

Hi lymehater,
Just want to say Hello. You are not alone here, I know its the internet and not face to face but please understand that you are one of us and we care, a lot.

What we are going through can be emotionally difficult and be socially isolating. I want to thank you for your post and sharing your feelings with us. I am sure many of us feel this same way and share in these unpleasant experiences.

I'm glad to that this forum is here so we can vent and offer support to each other. Its is a lifesaver.

I get it about family:

My mom and family is the same way, I have to remind them that I am still sick.

My husband is a different story, he was very supportive in the beginning but eight months of our dealing with it and treatment has been enough for him. He is tired of ticks and Lyme and he doesn't even have it.
I can't blame him . It's changed how we live every day. I can't really blame any of them, this illness and its ramifications on our lives can be devastating for relationships.

One way to change that may be finding a local support group for Lyme in your area or even one for chronic illness's ?
That may be of help.

I know your tired but if you have a better day,there might be a Lyme association group in your area that has events or such. That's a way to meet people that understand what your going through also.

Well I wish you the best of healing, Take care, Jo

A friend kept nagging at me for having 'selective memory' and for not showing up to events..

since this was a recurring pattern with her of calling me out, I stopped her and said, Listen, I have fatigue, I suffer from chronic fatigue, so sometimes I'm too tired, and sometimes I forget things too.

She apologized, and said she understood now.

I stay clear of the lyme explanation, because they don't know enough about it, and I don't care to explain to them what it entails. Chronic fatigue covers many of the symptoms, and people buy it.