Lyme Depression getting the best of me

Alright so I've been here before but I really feel like I'm losing it.

I'm 28 and I had to fly from Vermont (where I live alone) to Florida (where my parents live in the winter) a week ago because I was having some really bad depressed thoughts. I hadnt realized how bad it was until it got really bad earlier this month and I had to check myself into an emergency room because I was so depressed and living alone, had suicidal thoughts.

Ive been treating Lyme and co-infections for 18 months now, and the odd thing is while my physical symptoms have gotten better, my depression and anxiety, which had also been getting better since early december, are now crippling. I had been on Prozac 60mg a day for 8 years and in August ended tappering off of them, I thought I was in the clear (getting off prozac felt great) as I made it way more than 6 weeks on no ssri or benzo and was still feeling fine. But no, in December anxiety and anger/irritability started to progress back into my life. I am now on 5mg Lexapro a day as 10mg was making my depression even worse...

What is also very concerning is that after taking my antibiotics (Compound Tetracycline) my depression turns into this anger/rage/anxiety where everything bothers me and I have to remove myself from people and just stare at a wall or meditate. I go from feeling hollow inside to boiling with anxiety and irritability. I can get mad at people just talking and seeing people laughing and having a good time makes me want to hit a wall with a hammer.

I am finding life extremely difficult and not really worth it some of the time. My parents are supportive and I am going to be leaving Vermont, which I love when healthy, to live with them in FL and MA because I just dont feel safe alone. Im sure my depression has been heightened by 18 months of my social life dying, my new fear of the woods which I used to love, and my diet being constricted.

Has anyone else found that depression and anxiety persist longer than physical symptoms? Did these things get better over time?

I'm finding it very difficult to make decisions and am really torn up about having to give up living on my own in Vermont, but the thought of living alone right now scares me as I am really going through some difficult times mentally.

I'm not really looking for suggestions on meds, just people who have had a similar experience with these mental issue as well as people who have healed from them!

Thanks so much

Wow golden goose I can so relate with the feelings you are having. I am so sorry don’t really have a lot of suggestions for you but I’m so glad you will not be alone anymore that is what makes this illness so awful I think is the horrible isolation and depression it can cause. You feel you have no control and the Lyme is calling the shots. It’s makkng the decisions for you. Not fair at all.

I’m so sorry for what your going through. I had horrible depression/anxiety flare this week due to starting new antibiotic malarone and I literally stayed with a friend for 4 days bc my sister works nights and I could not stand being alone. I was freaking out and just couldn’t stop crying when I was left on my own so scared. But thank God I’ve been feeling better with mood but physically like I’ve been hit but a train or maybe 2. You may also be having a herx causing your anxiety and depression to flare and it may get better.

For me it’s very up and down I’ve tried antidepressants but the just seem to make me feel so much sicker every time I try them. I take sam-e right now to help also kava tea helps a lot. But honestly what helped me the most was being with someone and trying to focus on a task or stay occupied with something or someone when the anxiety gets so bad and it helps. Praying for you tonight hope you thoughts will leave you alone

Can relate. I cant even think of old songs or old times or I start to cry. I try to keep my mind off them: youtube, doing something creative, etc. i was a musician for 40 years! (guitar)

Reading your story brings a lot of sympathi and compassion, dont loose the hope. Remember everything is impermanent and non-solid.

I can particularly relate to what you write about not get the same lust for wildlife or forest-dwelling. That same thing is my situation too. Used to be a hard-core forester but now I mostly just feel dull getting out in the outback. I guess the fatigue plays a big role for this and sometimes during periods I felt almost cured the nature happiness do come back.

I hope it will return again soon for you too!

Our daughter (in her 20s) finished treatment several months ago. She is having trouble shaking the depression though, and getting back to her old energy levels.

What we just found out is that one of her thyroid hormones, T3, is low, while the others are normal, T4 and TSH, with a high reverse T3.

T3 is the very hormone which engages the cell so the cell can produce energy. Low levels of this hormone also cause depression.

Anyway, low T3 can be caused by prolonged illness (the Lyme!), or low iron, and a few other things I can't recall now.

She is seeing an endocrinologist who has prescribed supplemental T3, to kick start her metabolism. The idea is to reduce it slowly in the future. Perhaps this is something worth investigating for you too.

The tests to order are TSH, Free T4, Free T3.

Lapis - does it not reverse after going off the antibiotics on it's own?

Lapis_29 said...

Girlie said...
Lapis - does it not reverse after going off the antibiotics on it's own?

good question, not enough data right now

I suspect that with some it does, with others it does not.

"Luckily, the adverse side effects of the antibiotics could be reversed. Mice who received probiotics or who exercised on a wheel after receiving antibiotics regained memory and neurogenesis. "


Well I do both -exercise and take probiotics..