Posted 6/18/2018 11:59 PM (GMT -5)
*sigh* This has been a long, grueling journey. Coming up on two years of treatment, two years of being separate from society, not being able to travel, have fun, always tired, feeling like it's never going to get better.
about 10 years ago I had a nasty case of weepy itchy eczema that covered my entire torso, back, arms, neck, face, hands. It was heinous. I spent every waking hour studying, changing my diet, writing about it, thinking about it, trying homemade concoctions. At the 3 year mark, I gave up. I got so tired of thinking about eczema that I just stopped cold turkey. No more meds, dietary changes, or salves. My eczema cleared up within a few months.
I'm kinda that way with Lyme right now. I just need a break from the herbs and message boards and the medicines. I love everyone here and I just wanted to say you all have been such a source of strength for me. You really have helped me through some of my darkest hours and I wonder if I would have made it this far without you all. But I do need to stop thinking about Lyme all the time. It's become too ingrained in my life, so a part of my personality, that I'm afraid if I don't get off now, I'll never leave. I really think I need to start focusing on the life I want and not the one I have. Today was a bad day and I'm sure more are ahead, but I need to lessen my participation.
I just wanted to say thanks for all your help, for being awesome and caring and for being there for me. I wish you all the very best and get well soon. I may come back to check in from time to time. I don't know right now. You're all amazing.