Needing More Support

Anyway I'm not quite over this thing, and from all my reading I don't think I ever will be--and I suspect due to multiple mostly untreated TBI's my immune system keeps me slightly sick way too often, more than I would like, for working energy's sake.

And I could use some encouraging words...

Anyway about needing support, I'm having a rough patch again and not hitting some ambitious goals I set out for. It's so frustrating. Anyone else finding things more difficult? How do you keep working or going to school? Do you need to take a break, or re-write your goals for Lyme-handicap adjusted levels ...? Sometimes a year-long hiatus could be possible is what I think (seeking some career-related upgrades that would connect me to these resources possibly) I need that because I'm not really making it very well right now and things take me way too long to do and I get boggled and flustered very easily not like I used to, like already had problems having TBI's makes thing seem impossible and/or hopeless... Because that's how I'm feeling right now. I feel like I'm not in the best environment for work or healing and I'm in sore need of more substantial support than I'm getting. I already feel isolated, now I'm sick and busy and not getting much of anywhere. Anyway I just had to vent. Can anyone relate? Anyone?

Thank you, goshawk. I put a lot of pressure on myself, and need some relief sometimes. Nowadays, I know what is stressful, but still mounting more pressure on myself to get better, do better, I keep oscillating back and forth from strict and perfectionist, fighting for survival, to all pressure is off and totally letting myself go adrift deferring lofty dreams, even though some may very well be doable if I find that special spark again. I get confused as I read a self help and time management articles, and those get jumbled to where I don't even know where to begin sometimes. I feel like I had made a decision to delay or cancel an important difficult time-intensive deadline thing...and then minutes later I feel nothing, no drive, no spark, yeah maybe my nervous system is scarred and/or damaged that way. I know I'm depressed.

But you know what, goshawk, I'm going to honor your support and do a few easy things today.

I can totally relate to feeling boggled, flustered and overwhelmed by things that used to come easily. It is super frustrating and disheartening. As my symptoms have improved, this improved too. I am doing way better at work than I was when I began treatment 2 years ago.

I hope you can see the same results with improvement.

I chose to take an easier job / career and I do not regret it one bit.